


Crimson

by ensou



Series: Shades [1]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Because we need more serious Victoria fics, F/F, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Minor AU, POV Alternating, POV First Person, POV Multiple, Romance, Slow Burn, Useless Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-06-08 17:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 43,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6865693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ensou/pseuds/ensou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The color of fresh blood. The color of her eyes. Eyes that were empty, revealing a broken person teetering on the edge of sanity, just like mine. And somehow, now we're friends. Why do I always end up attracting the dangerous ones?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A confrontation, a decision, and a conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross-posting from ff.net
> 
> So I recently got addicted to Twilight femslash and really enjoyed some of the Bella/Victoria stuff I found. It’s tied in my mind with Bella/Alice and Bella/Jane as a pairing, but those would have different dynamics and starting points for their relationships. Instead, I wanted to really look at Victoria. She’s such a rich character, and I want to see what she’ll do, while exploring some of the more… interesting sides of Twilight’s mythos and lore. I love the Hollows books (also known as the Rachel Morgan series), and its portrayal of vampires makes me shiver (in a good way). So exploring themes like denial and acceptance of self, inability to ignore instincts, etc. will probably be showing up here."
> 
> **Disclaimer:** I don’t own _Twilight_ or any of its associated media. If I did, vampires sure as hell wouldn’t sparkle just because their bodies are as strong as compressed carbon.

In the end is this all we can ask for?  
Breathing every day and night just waiting

Calling out but silence  
Talking but no words  
Broken in pieces

_\- When We Wake - Blood Red Shoes_

* * *

**One Week after the Cullens leave**

I was running.

Running as fast as I could, my heart pounding and blood thrumming through my veins. Forks’ dreary atmosphere clung to the surface of the earth in a fog as thick as split-pea soup, preventing me from seeing further than seven feet into the dense snarl of vegetation. It completely obstructed me as I kept moving forward, with leaves and branches whipping past me, roots reaching up to try and trip me.

It was a miracle I hadn’t yet.

Behind me somewhere came a laugh. A laugh like sunlight glancing off of the rain. Like an angel, dancing on the wind. But I knew the truth. If she was an angel, she had fallen long ago.

“Isabeeellaaaaaa.” A whisper on my right, reaching out of the fog and brushing me like a ghostly hand. I jerked and stumbled, hastily attempting to turn and flee in the opposite direction as my lungs began to burn. I was beginning to become both lightheaded and nauseous from my efforts to evade her.

I wouldn’t last much longer.

Stupid forests. Stupid Forks. Stupid Washington. _Why_ did I have to decide to move here from Phoenix?

A giggle on my left drew my attention and I was unable to stop myself from looking, which in turn kept me from noticing the vine-like root that finally tripped me. I was brought tumbling down in my typically graceless fashion, my face colliding with the earth of the forest (thankfully soft enough to keep me from breaking my nose, although it felt like I had been kicked in the head). I lay there for an infinitesimal moment trying to regain the breath that had been forced from my lungs, my head fuzzy and throbbing from the fall.

Something primitive screamed at me in my mind, and in less than a moment my vision was filled with red.

It cascaded over her shoulder like liquid fire, falling down and framing that hideously beautiful face. Her lips were curled into a righteously sadistic smirk, and burgundy eyes stared down at me, freezing me in place at the same time they drew me in.

Victoria.

“Hello, Isabella.”

I was suddenly flying through the air, everything inverted. Up was down, and down was up, the sky beneath me. Something impacted me on my left, accompanied with a sharp ‘crack’ that I knew was my arm and at least one of my ribs breaking. A cold hand as hard as granite gripped my neck as I fell, grabbing me before I crumpled and holding me up, sharp bark digging into my back. I fought against her fingers to try and inhale, scrabbling at her wrist with my right hand to try and pry the digits apart and grant me some relief. My head was starting to feel real fuzzy, like cotton-balls in my brain, and then my vision began to go, blackness surrounding everything like a tunnel and making it so I could only see her. I was sure my face was turning blue, but she only stood there, holding me up and smirking for what felt like an eternity.

“Oh. Sorry.” Her voice dripped with false sweetness. “You need to breathe, don’t you?” Her fingers loosened imperceptibly, allowing me a gasping breath that was immediately regretted due to the sharp pain of protest my newly-broken ribs gave me. “Humans are _such_ fragile creatures.”

I just hung there, unable to fight her and the strength she exhibited, knowing that my continued existence was completely dependent on her whims at the current moment. She twisted her wrist, exposing the right side of my neck, and stepped closer, nostrils flaring. “I never did understand how James chose his targets. You do smell especially sweet, but even _he_ should have known that it was unwise to go against a coven of seven. Seven! Even if he caught and drained you, they would have come after us. I _told_ him that. I _felt_ it. But **no**.” Her voice turned harsh, like jagged glass that had been sharpened into a knife. “He _still_ had to go after you. And now he’s _dead_. Because of **you**!” she hissed, venom flying out of her lips and landing on my cheek, creating a tingling feeling as it sunk into my pores. I couldn’t help the whimper that escaped my lips as I instinctively tried to shrink away from this furious predator in front of me.

“He’s _dead_.” she whispered again.

And that was when I caught it. The emptiness in the red eyes that practically pierced me to the tree behind me. Eyes filled with the hurt and pain of untenable loss that I’d seen in my own mirror every day since It happened.

Somehow, in some way, we were the same.

I’d never even considered the possibility of sympathy, _empathy_ with someone like her. But here we were, both trying to go on despite the gaping hole that now existed in our lives, both failing miserably. I turned to depression, she turned to desperation. The difference between our two situations was that she had a target for her feelings, while I… I had nothing now.

As if she had heard my thoughts, she continued. “And so I planned and waited. A mate for a mate. My life was forfeit, as long as you were dead. I wanted to make him feel the same pain that he’d given me. To look in his eyes and _see_ the pain. And then I come here, and what do I find?” She drew back her head back to get a better look at my face, pinning me with her glare. “They’re **gone**.” I flinched, unable to stop myself from thinking about the Event. “And now it’s _useless_. I can’t cause them any pain, because _they’re not here_.” She started laughing, the sound throaty and sad. “So why did he die? Tell me, Isabella, why did he die, if this was just a farce? If you weren’t really the boy’s mate? **WHY?** ” She drew my body back and slammed me against the tree again, causing me to gasp in pain.

What she’d said suddenly registered in my shaken mind. “W-what?” I croaked, unable to keep the sound from passing my lips.

She looked at me, shock flashing across her face. And then she laughed again. “And you don’t even know. The _pitiful little human_ , playing with the vampires, but doesn’t even know what’s happening.” She tilted her head, as if studying some interesting specimen. “We’re very particular about our mates, _Isabella_. We mate for life. It is very rare that a vampire can move beyond the passing of their mate. Most of us go insane. Even rarer that they find another. That is the stuff of legends. But it is impossible for a vampire to willingly abandon their mate and leave them behind or cause them pain. _Impossible_. It would tear them apart from the inside. Do you understand?”

My oxygen-deprived, tired brain struggled to understand what she was saying. A vampire couldn’t cause their mate pain.

_“Of course, you’re my mate, Bella.” “My mate,–” “–, my mate.” “– mate.”_ And then painful nothingness.

“I’m… not his… mate?” The words moved past my lips like molasses, but caused the red-haired angel in front of me to smirk.

“It seems the human can be taught, after all.”

You might think that this revelation would cause me to withdraw, to try and escape, to relapse into that comforting nothing that had kept me sane so far, that had kept me from doing anything rash. You’d be wrong.

A weight that I hadn’t even known existed lifted from my shoulders. I was so light.

_He’s not the One._

I was free. Free from the commitment to be with him forever. Free to feel whatever I wanted, to not need to continue feeling love for the boy who had shattered my heart into fragments so small they were practically dust. Free because now… now he didn’t _need_ to matter to me.

I laughed. I couldn’t help myself. Even with my broken ribs that felt like they were piercing my lungs, I laughed. Victoria was caught completely off-guard, staring at me in shock, and I committed the image to memory, even if I only had minutes to live. I realize now that I probably sounded crazy. Hysterical even. But I couldn’t stop. It felt so good to let go and just _be_ for the moment. I was going to die soon anyways, might as well go out without regrets.

She glared at me, considering something. I could almost see the gears turning in her mind. “So what am I to do with you now?”

“Just… just kill me already.” I said breathlessly, fighting the odd dizziness that was descending on me. Victoria looked at me, seemingly stunned once more. “We both know you’re going to.”

Her face shifted back to complete, unreadable blankness. “No. I don’t think I will. I have no use for you now, Isabella Swan. You’re already broken.” Something was happening, but my head was getting so fuzzy, and my chest hurt so badly. All I wanted to do was rest, and I couldn’t help my eyelids from drifting closed. Yet I still managed to sigh out one final thing to her. “But I’m not as broken as you.”

* * *

I let the unconscious girl drop from my hand.

I saw it now. Why those animal-drinkers had been so drawn to her. She was different. Different than any other human I had come across, and likely the same could be said for them as well. It was… vexing. I wanted to harm her, to see her scream, to feel the pain that I have from losing my mate. Except she was already experiencing that herself, and by the looks of it doing about as well as I was. A piss-poor job.

The scent of blood rose, provoking the hot dryness in my throat, and I realized it was coming from the girl herself. She must be bleeding somewhere inside herself. That wasn’t supposed to be good for humans, right?

I could just leave her here. She’d probably end up dying, though. And while I had chased her with the intent of causing exactly that, I for some reason couldn’t endure the thought of allowing it to happen.

This girl was dangerous. She had said things that made me want to run. To deny what she’d said. But I also didn’t want the feelings she had caused, the first feelings other than rage and sadness since James had died, to stop, and her dying wouldn’t change the words nor the truth behind them. I finally had found someone who could understand in this weak little girl. I had been contemplating creating a companion for some time. But now I knew that that would have only been a simulacrum, a cheap fake of what I needed: someone who _knew_. This girl, though…

I could turn her now. I could. I could do it. Right now.

But I won’t. I want to see more of her as she is. To know her and how she survives the loss. To learn from it. To…

I don’t even know.

But for that to happen, she had to be rational. Sane. Not a newborn vampire with raging instincts that would control their life for over a year.

She would need to live.

Conscious of the girl’s injuries, I lifted her into my arms, running towards the small town that she lived in and their piteous excuse for a hospital while attempting not to shift her too much. I arrived at the building in less than a minute, and debated what I should do. It would probably be best to hand her off and then disappear instead of leaving her outside where she could die in the time it took them to find her.

Entering the hospital through the sliding doors, I was hit by the overwhelming smell and immediately stopped breathing. It wouldn’t do to start feasting when I wanted this girl to survive. The woman at the front desk saw me, and rather surprisingly seemed to understand the weight of the situation immediately, calling for a doctor and a gurney. The thing arrived, and I placed her down onto the white cloth as gently as possible.

The attendant rushed her away, and another man appeared at my side, asking what had happened. Unable to respond in detail with the limited amount of air I had, I only shook my head and said, “Found her,” before turning and rushing towards the door. I needed to get out of there.

The man started calling behind me, but I ignored him, moving quickly away and into an alley next to the hospital, climbing the wall up to the roof. I didn’t stray, sitting down and focusing on the one heartbeat out of hundreds in the structure that I wanted to ensure continued. If it didn’t, I needed to be able to respond in seconds, forcing my venom into her body and manually pumping the heart to make it spread. The venom would ensure that her brain would not deteriorate in the time it took to change her, although pumping her heart for three days did not sound particularly pleasant. But I would do it if need be.

So I sat, and waited.

* * *

I woke to the sounds of beeping heart monitors and a dripping IV embedded in my right arm. The hospital. Yet again.

Last time had been James. And now, his mate Victoria. Well. Ex-mate. Widow? I didn’t even know if vampires could be widows or widowers.

But… the real question of the hour was why the hell I was waking up in the hospital instead of dead. Because by all rights, I should be. I had _known_ she was going to snap my neck.

So why hadn’t she?

A nurse’s head appeared in the doorway.

“Oh! You’re awake. I’ll inform the doctor and let your father know.”

I only nodded mutely, not even moving my head off of the pillow. They must’ve had me hooked up to the good stuff, because I couldn’t feel _anything_ right now. And I knew broken ribs and a broken arm should be at least slightly painful now that there was no adrenaline in my body.

A man with an easily-forgettable face walked in, and began speaking at me, which I only nodded and ‘hm-ed’ to him in acknowledgment at what I thought was the right times. The only things I picked up from his long-winded speech were “blunt force trauma”, “three ribs”, “punctured lung”, “internal hemorrhaging”, and “complex fracture.” I figured he must have been the doctor.

Once he was done with his lecture, he asked me if I had any questions. There was only one that I could think of. One that refused to leave me alone.

“H-how… did I get here?”

“It was very odd. A woman with bright red hair brought you in, but left immediately after. Do you know who she is?”

For some reason, I shook my head. I got the feeling I didn’t want them knowing about Victoria. That it would be better for everyone involved

“Bells!” Another voice drew my attention to the doorway, and Charlie stood there, immediately entering and coming to the side of my bed. “Thank God you’re alright.”

“I’m… I’m fine Dad.” I said quietly, slightly unnerved by the amount of emotion he was showing.

“Bella! You almost _died_! That’s not ‘fine’.”

“But… I’m not dead, right? So everything’s okay.” I responded, not really seeing what there was to be upset about. Then again, it wasn’t like I hadn’t had near-death experiences with vampires before, so at this point it seemed to be becoming a regular thing.

God, I hoped not.

I tried to reach out and pat the hand that rested on the bars on the left of the bed, but realized that my arm refused to move, bringing my attention to the rather large cast that went from my wrist all the way up to my armpit.

Damn. Painkillers were definitely doing their job.

Charlie sighed. “I guess. There’s no real point in arguing it anyways. But what were you doing that did this to you?” Oh. Shit. I hadn’t even thought up a good story yet. “I mean, it looks like those bruises on your neck were caused by a hand. Did… did someone…?” He didn’t even finish his sentence.

“No! I mean…” This was really the perfect answer, but I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. “Yes, but not like that. It was in an alley and I couldn’t really see. But someone grabbed my neck… and then I tried to escape, so they hit me with…” Damn. What could cause the injuries I had? “a pipe or something. And then… that woman showed up. The one with the red hair. And she somehow scared the other person off, and then everything went black. I didn’t even see the person’s face.”

He sighed and nodded at my story, and I felt slightly guilty for lying to him like that. But it was essentially what happened, just… Victoria had also been the one attacking and had stopped herself. And I wanted to know why. I didn’t understand.

“Alright Bells. The doctors say you need your rest, so I’m going to let you, okay? I’ve uh… kinda got to get back to work. I left some stuff behind to see you.” He scratched his head nervously. “But I’ll be back once I get off, even if you’re not awake, okay?”

I nodded and he reached out to my hand and squeezed it, looking at me one last time before turning around and exiting. I noticed that the doctor had managed to slip out of the room sometime during the exchange.

Now that I thought about it, I _was_ feeling really tired. Had to be all the energy my body was putting into healing. So I lay my head back on the pillow behind me and closed my eyes, letting myself fall asleep.

* * *

The next time I woke, it was dark out. Like, pitch dark. The clock on the generic beige wall opposite my bed said it was two in the morning. I was about to close my eyes again when I noticed this blob of red in the corner of my eye. I twisted my head towards it, and was unable to stop myself from sucking in a breath at the sight of Victoria in all her terrible glory. She just sat there, looking at me as if I were some weird puzzle to be solved.

My heart monitor started beeping faster and faster as adrenaline rushed through my veins, and I was worried one of the nurses might come check to see what was happening. Whether it was for the nurse’s sake or Victoria’s, I didn’t know.

I forced myself to slow the unrelenting tone by taking painfully large, slow breaths, eventually managing to slow my pounding heart rate back down to at least a moderately normal tempo.

Victoria and I stared at each other for over ten minutes, locked onto the other’s eyes until she broke the connection and ran her gaze down my body, lingering on the injuries I had. The ones she had caused.

“Why didn’t you kill me?” I whispered, and her head snapped back to my face.

She suddenly looked trapped. Like she wanted nothing more than to run away at that moment. It took some time, but she eventually managed to open her mouth. “I don’t know.” And I could hear the truth in it. The confusion. She really didn’t know why, although I felt like she might have a hint and was unwilling (or unable) to share right now. “Why didn’t you tell them the truth?”

My reply was the same as hers: “I don’t know.” I truly didn’t, I had just had a very strong feeling, almost disturbingly strong, that I shouldn’t, and followed the impulse without a single thought to doing otherwise.

She nodded minutely in recognition of my answer. “I still want to, you know. It would be so easy. You’re completely defenseless. All I’d have to do is walk over there, sink my teeth into your neck, and tear your throat out. And this would all be over.”

“But you won’t.” I was somehow absolutely sure of my answer. Or maybe _he_ had been right and I really had no sense of self-preservation. I was practically asking to be bitten by telling her she wouldn’t, because she’d do it just to prove me wrong.

She sat there, completely still, as if she’d abruptly been turned into a statue. “No, I won’t,” she breathed finally.

“How… how are you doing this?”

Her brow wrinkled slightly in confusion. “What?”

“How are you here? In the hospital? Isn’t it hard?” As far as I knew, it seemed like she didn’t have the control to be able to manage it. I mean, Jasper went crazy over a paper-cut, so how could she stand to be in a building that must be practically saturated with the scent of blood underneath the formaldehyde? A smell she should easily be able to pick up considering that _he_ had been able to track me through an entire city by scent alone.

“It is… not without effort.” And I could tell then that her voice was slightly strained. “But I fed to excess, and it’s much easier to ignore when I’m completely full.” My attention jumped to her eyes, which I noticed for the first time were a bright red, crimson and practically glowing, instead of the murky coagulated color they had been before, and I gasped. “Y-you…”

“What? Killed people to drink their blood?” Victoria laughed under her breath and I shut my mouth. “Of course. It’s what I am, so why should I deny that? It’d be like…” She paused, thinking. “…asking a lion to eat only grass.” Was it really that large a difference? I’d always thought that it wasn’t _that_ big. But then again, the amount Jasper appeared to struggle with their diet lent some truth to her analogy. “Possible, but not satisfying.”

I waited for the inevitable feelings of disgust and revulsion to surface, but they never did. I was… alright with what she had done? With what she _did_?

I took a moment to sort out my thoughts, to try and figure out why I was entirely apathetic to the concept, but had no answers. I felt she was smarter than to hunt in Forks, and the fact that I didn’t know the people she had killed meant I had no emotions concerning their death. Some part of my mind noted that this wasn’t right, and that I hadn’t been like this before, but it was squashed by the sheer curiosity I felt about the topic.

“You aren’t horrified? Doesn’t it bother you? Knowing I killed people only because I was thirsty?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know why, but it doesn’t.” Maybe it was because I was so exhausted, or the drugs in my veins, but I couldn’t really bring myself to care.

She looked at me strangely. “You’re an odd human being, Isabella.”

“Bella.” Her expression shifted to questioning. “Just Bella.”

“Bella.” Victoria whispered, as if trying out the word and seeing how it felt in her mouth. “Bella.” She nodded slightly. “It suits you.” I blinked. Had she just _complimented_ me? “I think I know why that coven kept you around now. You’re very intriguing, Bella Swan.”

I had no rejoinder to her comment, but I was saved from needing to reply when her head cocked to the right, as though hearing something I couldn’t. It had been an action I’d seen _them_ do frequently. “Someone’s coming.” And in a blur, she was gripping the window frame, crouched on the sill while facing me. “Farewell… Bella.”

“Wait!” I shouted, just as she disappeared. Her head reappeared at the edge of the window, looking very strange as her flame-colored hair all fell sideways towards the ground. “Will… Will you come back?”

An almost-too-quick expression passed over her face, and she disappeared again, the window closing just as an orderly came into my room.

She hadn’t said it out loud, but she hadn’t needed to. That small sign was all I needed to know her response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what’d you think? Good? Did you like it? No?
> 
> Tell me in a review!


	2. Visitation Rights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victoria muses on her choices, Bella reflects on the recent events, and a conversation is had

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’re curious where this falls in the canon timeline, it’s currently Saturday, September 24 2005, ~3:30am at the beginning of this chapter. Victoria’s chase was Thursday evening.

_“You know why I’m here, don’t you?”_

_My breath hitched, and I could only nod slowly._

_She grinned, with a smile far too full of teeth. “Run.”_

* * *

Vengeance.

It’s one of the strongest emotions a vampire can experience. We’re immortal, unchanging, frozen in our minds as much as our bodies, and this reflects in our emotions as well. When a vampire feels fury, it does not disappear until reparation can be claimed. It does not dwindle, does not falter, and does not waver.

So then _why_ did I spare her?

…

When I looked in her eyes as she realized that she wasn’t that boy’s mate, I had seen something break. Something irreplaceable had snapped, and in that moment I saw her as what she really was: just another pawn. Just an interloper caught up in the games of gods, no more responsible for what had happened than a hare that two foxes fought over. She accepted her fate at my hands without any true fight, and suddenly, I couldn’t kill her. Where is the satisfaction in killing someone to cause them pain when they don’t _care_ if they die? It just… didn’t sit right.

It was a terrible time to renege on my oath of revenge, at the very moment it could have been completed, but I saw myself in her and that changed things. She was just a frightened girl, a broken soul. A person who had been toyed with by people stronger than her.

That _boy_ on the other hand… My rage simmered below the surface, and I fought to keep it down. He killed my mate, my anchor to this earth, destroyed my life, and then the ultimate insult, _abandoned_ the very human they had fought over.

But I didn’t need to focus on that right now. I had forever to extract retribution. Right now, my attention was on the human girl lying on the bed halfway across the room with an assortment of electronics around her, tracking her every change in status. I didn’t need them to know how she was; I could hear her heartbeat as if it was right next to my ear. A soothing sound that even while fanning the raging fire in my throat, relaxed my mind.

I sighed. What was I doing? What would Laurent or James say?

James would have asked why I hadn’t drained her in that forest. He was a Hunter, after all, and would have never passed up the chance for such enticing blood. Laurent either would have agreed with him or approved of my decision to save her, as he knew the state I was in and that any distraction would be a welcome one.

Which it had been, oddly enough, for the past two days. The first two days where I hadn’t been buried in rage and misery since that moment in March.

It was disconcerting in the extreme, to be honest. Months of planning to kill her, months of deliberating over the ways to go about doing it (evisceration, strangulation, dehydration, starvation, and my favorite for obvious reasons, exsanguination), defeated in minutes. One week ago I had no thoughts other than to take my revenge. I hadn’t even considered the possibility that her coven would leave her. Or that she would mirror how I felt so accurately. I had made a snap decision to save her, in a moment of passion, but that decision was one that I didn’t regret in the slightest. And I couldn’t figure out why.

Maybe I’m just selfish.

I never could live on my own for long, and the past six months have been some of the loneliest in my existence. Hours turn to days turn to weeks turn to months when you have nobody else around, nothing to do except exist and occasionally hunt. Yet I was aware and lucid for every single second. True torture of a kind that only way a vampire can experience.

And then I came across her. Chased her. The girl who I had wanted nothing more to kill, nothing more than to tear apart with my own hands. But after seeing her true self, the broken, shattered girl, that desire for her death turned to a desire to have her at my side. To have someone who could understand with me, forever. And she will need to be turned. I will not provoke the Volturi any further by leaving her here.

There’s something very… alluring about her. Magnetic. It’s how she had ended up with that coven, I suppose. It feels _right_ being around her. Almost as if no matter where she went, no matter what she did, it was her fate to become involved in our world. To become one of us. Someone who belonged in our world.

I was drawn out of my thoughts when Isabella ( _Bella_ , she said) began twisting around on her bed restlessly, mumbling to herself. It was only because of my better hearing that I actually heard her.

“No. Don’t. Please, I promise. I won’t. Don’t leave.”

The smell of salt rose in the air, and I looked over at the source, tracks of tears running down her face, her expression screwed up in anguish.

Standing up, I walked to the side of her bed silently, watching as her eyes moved frantically under their lids. She breathed heavily and instantly turned her head towards me, like she knew I was there (which was impossible, of course).

“Please… don’t go,” she moaned, her voice full of agony and grief.

I reached a finger out to catch one of the tears that fell from her face, studying it intently until her right hand shot out and caught my wrist, fast enough that I was sure she had woken, but her eyes remained closed.

I could have just pulled my hand from hers, but I was so captivated by her tears and actions that I simply stood there, waiting to see if there was anything else. Eventually, she turned her head into my hand, sighing quietly and calming when my cold skin came into contact with her own, a small smile appearing as she held my palm to her cheek.

And try as I may, I couldn’t bring myself to pull away and condemn her back to her nightmares.

* * *

It was sunlight streaming through my window that woke me the next day, bleeding through my eyelids and making me turn to the left to try and shield my eyes. Fully awake now with no chance of falling back to sleep, I cursed the sun and wondered who the hell had left the blinds open. Which caused me to remember where I was and how I’d gotten there.

Hospital. Victoria. Riiiiight.

Last night’s events drifted back to me: my late-night visit with the bipolar redhead and her subsequent disappearance. Although there _was_ a chance that was a dream. I mean, it wasn’t possible, was it? It could have been some other red-haired woman that had carried me to the hospital. Miles away from where I had been. Through heavily wooded forest.

…Yeah, the likelihood of that was about nil.

Okay. So _Victoria_ , of all people, had saved my life, which meant I should probably assume that our conversation hadn’t been a drug-induced hallucination. …Although I really think it would be easier to handle if it had been.

It was strange. I’d been petrified in fear in the forest as she held me up against that tree, fingers nearly crushing my windpipe, ribs broken and left lung partially collapsed. But all of the terror and fear I felt towards her disappeared the second I had seen that look in her red eyes.

You don’t really stop to think about how human (more… person-ish? real?) vampires really are when they’re on a warpath and out for your blood. I’d been terrified of James, even when I had willingly gone to that ballet studio, practically walking to my death. All I had known about him was that he was a hunter. A killer. Someone who reveled in the terror and pain he could induce in his prey. Likewise, all I knew about Victoria was that she had been with James on that day in the field, and that she had called him when the Cullens had left to join me, Alice, and Jasper in Phoenix. _Literally_ nothing else. Obviously she’d been complicit in James’ hunt, although according to her she’d told him that it wasn’t a good idea.

It all came back to the fact that she had saved me. Intentionally. I **know** that if I had been left in that forest, I would have died. And the last time a new vampire had saved me from some life threatening situation (Tyler’s car), it had gotten me into this whole mess.

God… I _really_ hoped that wasn’t foreshadowing.

But in totality, it all added up to a frustratingly small amount of information I had on her, none of which gave me any hint as to why the heck she had decided I should live.

Had she seen the same thing I had? Looked into my soul through eyes as blank as glass? Witnessed how shattered my life was because of all this? Understood the lack of will I’d had to live? She’d basically told me she felt the same way: _“A mate for a mate. My life was forfeit…”_

I suppose there’s something to be said about that. Vampires, creatures with bodies of stone yet hearts of glass. Almost poetic, in a very sad way. I might not know what it was like to lose a centuries-long partner, but I could definitely sympathize to some degree.

Even now, it still felt like there was a chasm as deep as the Marianas trench in my chest. And when you feel that much pain, that much emptiness from the thing that had been torn out of you, you can only either curl up in a ball of depression or find a new purpose that will fill the gap.

I had been the former, Victoria, the latter. And it had taken being hunted down, chased, toyed with, and then nearly killed to snap me out of it. …Though I suppose a near-death experience involving vampires would do that to anyone. Thankfully, _this_ encounter had been less lethal than the last (at least in retrospect), despite landing me in a hospital again. There’d been no venom this time, so that was a plus.

It’s funny how things work out, isn’t it? His actions had completely backfired on him. It was irony at its finest: leaving Forks had just allowed another vampire to enter it. And Victoria had already proved that once I had been inducted into the supernatural world, there was no getting out, no matter how hard he tried to remove me from it.

It wasn’t that he had tried that frustrated me now. It was the way he had gone about it… like performing a lobotomy instead of just treating the symptoms, exorcising himself _and his family_ from my life as if he had never existed… Did he _really_ think that was an acceptable thing to do? To manipulate my life like that?

He had flaws, I could see that now. Especially emotional and psychological flaws, despite him being a century-old vampire who had been interacting with humans for the majority of that time. It was just… _selfish_ how he had reacted.

I know he had been the one to talk his family into leaving, because none of them would have even considered it. I didn’t blame them. I knew personally how convincing he could be. But it was so immature. Like if he couldn’t have me, no one from his family could.

At least that’s what it seemed like. What it looked and felt like.

Victoria’s words had changed me, and I was still trying to figure out exactly how. It felt like something… deeper than just my thoughts on Edward had been changed. But I definitely didn’t love him anymore. He had left me like I was nothing. Why should I put forth the effort to care about him? The pain from his actions was still there, but that would disappear eventually according to everyone else.

Is it weird that I was grateful that Victoria had done this to me? Grateful she had practically shoved in my face that he wasn’t the be-all and end-all of my life? Because I was. Very much so.

Is it wrong that I also wanted to see her again? She, the one who had shown me how wrong I was? Misery enjoys company, after all. I, at least, had Charlie and the people at my school (mostly just Angela). But Victoria had _nobody_ now.

Nobody, except for me, the strange human girl who knew how she felt, and I felt drawn to her because of it.

…Or maybe I was just a sucker for tragic vampires.

* * *

As the night fell I returned to the hospital from the place where I’d spent my day, one of the higher peaks of the Olympic range. It was a place where I could simply exist. Time is a different concept for us than for humans, perhaps because of the amount that we accumulate, or because of the fact that we never age, there is nothing personal to measure time against. We tend to get lost in our thoughts and emotions easily (as you must be able to tell), succumbing to what we feel. Not that I had any idea what I was feeling.

Everything was so… confusing. This girl was getting under my skin without even trying. I wanted it, but I didn’t. My brief conversation with her last night had been the first in six months, and even as I wanted to avoid her, I wanted more to see her again and talk further.

And so with one final decision, I condemned myself to this path.

* * *

“You came back?” I’d meant it as a statement, but it came out as more of a question, even though the answer was right in front of me.

She nodded once, keeping her red eyes on me and her face impassive.

I don’t know why I was so surprised. It just… didn’t seem real. None of this did. I would almost rather hope that this was all just a bad dream, yet I knew that it wasn’t because the sort of pain I felt in my chest hurt too much not to be real.

I cleared my throat awkwardly, trying to think of something to say. “So, um, how are you?” She stared at me blankly, as if that didn’t even deserve a response. Alright, so maybe it was a stupid question, all things considered. “Had any good meals lately?”

…Did I _seriously_ just ask that?

It certainly provoked a response, though: Victoria looked at me searchingly. “And if I have?” Her voice was low, a hint of interest embedded in her tone.

I shrugged, surprised at my own nonchalance and indifference over the topic.

She sighed almost inaudibly. “No. I don’t need to feed every day. I can go up to a month before it becomes unbearable. Though this place,” she waved her hand around at the walls, “makes it harder. I’ll probably need to drink again in a week or two.” I nodded in mock-understanding, because even though I knew absolutely _nothing_ on the particulars of a ‘normal’ vampire’s eating habits, I still found it interesting. “And you? How are you?”

I avoided thinking about how strange it was engaging her in small-talk, but this is what I had wanted, wasn’t it?

“Fine, but bored. You know,” I raised my cast-enveloped left arm, “healing and all.” And then added as an afterthought: “…Or I guess you wouldn’t know.”

She shook her head in denial. “I know I had injuries like that in my lifetime, but I can’t remember what it was like. It was a long time ago. I can barely remember it at all.”

I grew curious. “How long?”

Victoria sat back, still looking at me. “About four hundred fifty years, give or take.”

Whoa. She was older than Carlisle. “I bet you’ve seen a lot.”

“Yes. I have.” She sounded wistful. “Eternity quickly grows boring with nobody to spend it with and nothing to do. I’ve watched the rise and fall of kings, the birth and death of empires and cities. And now this century, which is practically _bursting_ with developments.” She shook her head. “I envy humanity for that. You adapt and change, growing with every failure, exponentially. Vampires are fixed and immutable. We’ll never be anything more than who we always have been. Who we are when we’re changed is how we’re frozen. Our emotions, our thoughts, our personalities.”

“That’s so… weird.” I couldn’t really imagine it, though it fit with everything that I’d witnessed of vampires so far. “Who were you? Who _are_ you?” I asked. I wanted to know more about her, and it seemed like a good place to start.

Victoria remained silent and shrugged non-committally. I suppose I was silly thinking it would that easy.

“Well, you’re… confident, right? Assured. Independent.” I provided, and she gave me an unfathomable look. “Beautiful.” Certainly, Victoria was like a goddess. A goddess of passion or fury, maybe. But a goddess nonetheless. All vampires were practically gods, and I couldn’t imagine them being anything less.

She barked out a laugh that managed to sound self-deprecating. “Is that how you see me?” I nodded slowly. “Then I won’t correct you.”

The conversation stalled, and I turned and stared up at the ceiling. “So… what sort of things do you like doing? Other than vampire-things. I’m guessing watching convalescent girls heal isn’t your usual past-time.” I said dryly.

“No, it isn’t.” Victoria glanced over at the television on the wall at the foot of my bed, staring silently for a few moments before sighing, sounding resigned. “I’ve always liked theater. And in this age, films.” I sat there stunned. It just seemed so… _tame_ for her. I’d anticipated something stranger or more out there, but I guess even five-hundred years old sadistic vampires can enjoy a good movie. She returned her gaze to me. “Does that surprise you?”

I nodded. “I guess I just didn’t imagine someone like you enjoying that sort of stuff.”

“Someone like me?” she asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Yeah, you know. Evil, sexy vampire girl.” I said, looking over her pointedly. She looked to be my age, but was dressed in a black tank-top, jeans, and an unzipped leather jacket. And she _easily_ fit what I imagined as the stereotype that might exist in boys’ fantasies.

“Oh?” Her other eyebrow joined the first. “Is that what you think of me? Evil?”

I shrugged with my right shoulder, the one that wasn’t weighted down by a cast. “Well… yeah. I mean, aren’t you? You helped him try to kill me. And then you were going to kill me, too.”

The small amount of expression and relaxed air she’d begun to allow herself in our exchange disappeared as if it’d never been there. “Yes, well.” She looked away, out of the window to the street below, keeping me from seeing her face. “That was a mistake.” Her voice was dead, void of any feeling, and I hated myself for bringing James up and reminding her of what had happened.

Our conversation was obviously over there. Even if I wanted to continue it, I didn’t want to try at the risk of making her upset. She was indecipherable, and I had no idea how she’d react, whether it would be in anger or sadness. Either one wouldn’t be good. So instead, I turned my head and closed my eyes, allowing myself to fall asleep.

* * *

I woke up again that night and she was still there, staring out the window. Only now her eyes were on the stars instead of the streets. Out on the Olympic peninsula (aka the middle of nowhere) there’s next-to-no light pollution, which made the night sky go from its common “amazing” to “literally breathtaking”. So I could understand why she would be staring at it.

Victoria gave no indication that she noticed I’d woken up, but I knew that it was impossible to hide something like that from her, and she’d more than likely known before I’d even become fully aware of everything.

“They don’t change.”

“Huh?” was the eloquent response I had for her.

“The stars. Everything else changes, but they’re still the same.” she said.

“You know, that isn’t what the universe actually looks like right now?” Victoria turned to me, and I could feel the question in the look she gave me. “Those stars and galaxies and all that other stuff are so far away that some of the light reaching us is _billions_ of years old. So some of them could have died, or there could be new ones that we can’t even see yet, but we’ll never know it until the light that shows those things happening reaches us.”

She ‘hmm-ed’ and looked out the window again. “The oldest of our kind that I know of is only a few thousand years old. I can’t imagine what it would be like to exist for such a long time. To live so long that you can watch the stars themselves fade out of existence.”

I nodded in agreement. “Yeah. Thinking about stuff on that scale makes my head hurt. It’s just… _too_ large for us to even try and understand. I’d rather not be stuck puzzling over existential quandaries just because I looked up at stars, so I try and avoid thinking about it too hard.”

Victoria turned around to look at me, the corner of her mouth lifted in the faintest facsimile of a smile. That image made me feel… something. Happiness for sure. She wasn’t holding what I’d said earlier against me, and she was talking to me, so I was happy. “I suppose I can see the wisdom in that.” She twisted back to the window. “What would you do, if you had all the time in the world? An eternity with no visible end?”

The question caught me off guard, and I struggled to figure out an answer that didn’t sound like bullshit. Something that I actually meant. “I… don’t know.” Before, I had wanted to spend eternity with _him_ , simply because he would also exist forever, and it would be selfish to allow myself to grow old and die when he couldn’t. Ever the selfless sacrifice. “Learn more? Experience everything I could? You said that we keep changing, so wouldn’t that mean that there are always more things to experience?”

She nodded soundlessly. “True. And it’s one of the few human instincts we manage to retain. Curiosity is perhaps a vampire’s strongest instinct after blood and lust. It’s one of our most fatal flaws.” Her tone shifted. “It certainly was proven so with James.” Unlike the biting, acerbic voice I expected, it was more sorrowful, wistful. “He always was too confident for his own good. He let it grow into arrogance too easily.” She sighed. “It was attractive, at first. Very attractive. He knew what he wanted, and what he wanted, he got. He only let it grow out of hand in the last century.” Her red eyes turned shifted back to me. “I was one of his hunts too.” My eyes widened in shock, and she smirked in self-… something. Self-deprecation? Self-loathing? “Yes, you and I are very similar in that. The difference was I was who I am now, while you were just…”

“Just a human?” I finished for her.

She grimaced. “Yes, to put it bluntly. I hated it at first. I would run to safety, and he would inevitably follow. Eventually, over the course of twelve or so years, I grew to find his pursuit thrilling, always waiting for him to get close before running away again. Teasing, almost a dance. It became a matter not of _if_ I would allow him to catch up, but _when_.” Victoria smiled slightly. “It felt very… romantic, knowing I was the sole focus of his attention, that I was the most important thing to him. Of course, later I learned that it was the same for any of his Hunts, but I didn’t know that then.”

“Do you…” My mouth spoke, and then my mind finally caught up with it and realized that this was probably a _very_ bad question. But she’d caught it, of course, and gave me a look of interest that I knew meant I _had_ to finish my question, with no other option. “…Do you regret it?” The ‘it’ went unsaid.

Like I expected, her face twisted into a shape of pure anger and that feeling of absolute terror that I’d felt in the forest came over me, an instinctual response that skips past your conscious mind and logic, shutting you down completely. But then her expression faltered, falling to annoyance, and then thoughtfulness after many minutes. An even longer time passed, her eyes glazed over, before she appeared to return from her thoughts. “No. I regret the pain. I regret my inability to keep him from pursuing a solely selfish goal that I knew would lead to his death. But I will never regret loving him. _Never_.”

It felt like she was saying it more for her benefit than mine, but I held my tongue. No telling how far I could push her before she snapped, and I really didn’t want to try right now.

Her eyes had glazed over, and I got the sense that it would be better to leave her alone to her thoughts than intrude on her brooding.

* * *

She left soon after that, the sun rising and lightening Forks’ eternally gray sky.

Charlie came by and visited for almost the entire day, and in retrospect I feel bad for not really paying him much attention during one of the few times he showed so much emotion. But I was preoccupied with my thoughts about Victoria, the flame-haired vampire who had hunted and saved me. A quandary that I wanted to peel apart layer by layer to discover who she truly was.

Little did I know that my wish would be granted far sooner in the future than I expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Victoria is so complex. I’m still unraveling layers of who she is. Even _she_ doesn’t know who she is in totality. It’s really fun trying to figure it out. Her speech wavers between modern and Victorian, and while initially I didn’t like it, I think it fits her perfectly, a subtle show of her emotions and thoughts.
> 
> And we start to see some of Bella’s emotional dependency on Victoria.
> 
> Things are going slow right now, but they’ll be speeding up. Next chapter should have Bella out of the hospital and the wolves making their first appearance.


	3. Predator and Prey: Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Musing on humanity, a hunt, release from the hospital, and revelations

_“You… don’t… want me?” I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order._

_“No.”_

_I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes._

_He stared back without apology._

_“It will be as if I’d never existed.”_

What a fucking lie.

* * *

Humans as individuals are so… fascinating. I’d never really felt the desire to actually observe one to see how they acted over a period of time (unless it was one of James’ Hunts, but that was very different). Yet… Bella was enthralling me just by existing.

I paid attention to her from my place on the hospital’s roof as she alternated sleeping and talking to various people, but I left to hunt twice to guarantee that I was sated enough to handle the reaction being around a hospital constantly caused. It was getting easier, though.

At night I watched her sleep, protecting my investment in her. It was oddly relaxing. The rhythmic breathing, the rise and fall of her chest, the constant regular ‘beep’ of the heart monitor; the combination of these things actually managed to lull me into a near-meditative state, something I’d never experienced, and probably the closest thing a vampire can actually come to sleeping. I can’t even really remember what sleeping was like. She didn’t wake again during those night, which was probably for the best, as I had no idea what to say to her if she did wake up again.

She was a conundrum. I’d never imagined a human that was alright knowing that other humans were being killed just because I wanted to kill them. Well, I suppose I did it to survive, but I definitely enjoyed killing them, the pleasure of being able to sink my teeth into their necks and drain them to the last drop. I knew humans who thought nothing of killing existed, but they were usually labeled insane or mentally unstable, and Bella seemed quite sane. At least from what I could tell. It was even stranger because she’d only been around those animal-drinkers.

They were definitely peculiar. I couldn’t understand why they would do that. The thought of feeding on an animal was extremely repulsive. There may have been a lot of animals in this area, but in comparison to the 7 _billion_ humans that now existed in the world, a food source that was _infinitely_ better in almost all the ways that mattered, it was nothing. Even if I’d fed once every day for the 450 years I’ve been a vampire, I still wouldn’t have significantly impacted today’s population.

Bella shifted in her bed, the heart monitor beginning to accelerate, her eyes darting around under her eyelids, and her breathing becoming faster, almost a repeat of what had occurred two nights ago. Like the last time, I moved to her bedside to examine her closer, and as I stood next to her bed she began calming down, her heartbeat slowing audibly.

She was such a unique and interesting human, in both her thoughts and her actions.

Most would react negatively in the presence of a vampire if they allowed themselves to listen to their base instincts, the fact that we were a predator higher than them registering unconsciously. Most of the time, their conscious mind usually over-rode that and were attracted to us. However, when they were asleep, those protective instincts would immediately react, warning them of danger and waking them if we were close enough. But Bella was _relaxing_. Just by having me nearby.

She continued surprising me, even without being awake.

Once she was completely calm again, I returned to my seat, and my musing.

I’ll easily admit I wasn’t doing any of this for her. It was only for me. I wanted her, so she had to survive. I _was_ very curious about what she was like as a person. Most humans were beneath me, only worth the blood that ran in their veins. But she was different, someone who understood the pain I felt, someone who made me feel. She was worthy of my full attention.

Worthy of standing at my side.

Worthy of being _mine_.

* * *

Victoria didn’t return the next day.

Nor the day after that.

Nor for the rest of the week

Or maybe she did, and I just wasn’t awake for it, which was a pretty likely possibility considering I slept so much. It was funny how similar the injuries I had now and the ones that James had given me were, even though it was all on the opposite side of my body. No broken leg though, which was nice. Still had another chest-tube to reinflate my lung post-surgery. Still had a giant cast after they’d set the bones in my arm.

Still would have scars because of it all.

Well, it was nothing new. Nothing I hadn’t gone through before.

My dad was always there when he got off of work, only leaving to get dinner or if he had plans with someone like Harry Clearwater, which I had to nearly twist his arm (metaphorically) to go to. We didn’t really talk, and I was medicated enough now after the doctors had decided to increase my painkillers that my brain was constantly loopy.

A few people from school came by, but only Angela really returned and sat with me regularly, talking about what was going on in school, and what kinds of assignments were being given. At this point, she was the only real friend I had since _they_ had left. The only one who seemingly cared enough to visit me.

Her and a certain red-haired vampire, apparently.

…my life is so screwed up.

* * *

The second time I went hunting, I decided I needed to travel further. I didn’t want to draw too much suspicion to the area, and as I was planning on remaining close to Bella for some time, I needed to play it safe, as I’d already been staying in the Olympic area for nearly six months.

It wasn’t very complicated, I pointed myself east, and then ran in a straight line. I’m significantly faster than the average vampire, and it was trivial to move beyond the Rocky Mountains in less than half a day.

I like sticking to mountains and highly-forested areas for multiple reasons: the ground is usually soft enough to make it easy to dispose of any evidence very quickly, the branches are an excellent method of sneaking up and attacking, and it would take a great deal of time to notice the missing people.

Around the border of Wyoming and Colorado (it was _somewhere_ around there) I came across a group of three boys. Not teenagers, so likely college students. It was dusk, and they were huddled around a small fire, talking about some inane thing or another.

Wasting no time, I dropped behind one, quickly pulling down the collar of his hoodie and biting down deeply enough to break past his jugular to the carotid. Having access to both made it easier to drain him faster, as his own heart would only assist by pushing blood into my mouth while I simultaneously drank from the vein.

I grimaced. The blood was tainted by the sharp flavor of alcohol. They’d been drinking, and not an insignificant amount, either. Ugh. But at this point, there was no choice, as I’d revealed myself and all three had to die.

I was finished with the first in a little over twenty seconds.

Dropping the corpse, I turned to the two companions, who were just sitting there and staring as I licked a drop of blood that had escaped from the corner of my mouth. It was only as I moved to the side of the second that they reacted, screaming.

That was another benefit of secluded forests: nobody to hear anything.

Twisting the head of the second to the right, I repeated the process, the third boy standing up and running away from the campsite, still screaming. Once I was done with the current one, I waited a little bit.

I’ve always loved it when they run. It gets their hearts pounding, and the adrenaline just makes everything better. Hopefully he’d burn off some of that alcohol.

Finally, I began chasing, keeping my speed within human limits to build the anticipation. Let him think he had a chance.

Of course, he had none.

When I caught up, he was stumbling, crashing through the forest. I deliberately let my feet fall heavily, twigs snapping. He looked back at me, and then tripped and fell backwards.

I almost laughed. He reminded me of Bella.

I descended on him, his eyes wide with terror, and the last thing he saw was my teeth reaching for his throat.

* * *

Charlie’s house had never looked so inviting.

After a week of being confined to bed and another half during which I still had to stay in the hospital, I just wanted to sleep in my own bed. The painkillers they’d prescribed me made me really sleepy ( _serious_ narcotics), so I was looking forward to it.

Charlie drove me home in his police cruiser, me with my big cast and a patch covering the hole they’d made in my side to stick in the large hose that had helped re-inflate my left lung after the surgery which had apparently happened to stop the internal bleeding my broken ribs had caused. Not an experience I wanted to go through again.

“You need any help with anything, Bells?” Charlie asked as we got out of the car, my feet touching down on the oh-so-familiar wet pavement of the driveway.

I shook my head. “I’ll be fine.”

“At least let me get the door.” he told me, leaving no time for any protest as he passed by me and unlocked the door, holding it open.

I smiled slightly. “…Thanks, dad.”

As soon as I entered the hallway, I immediately headed for the staircase. I seriously wanted to just pass out right now.

“You’ll yell if you need anything, right?”

“Sure thing!” I yelled from the stairs.

And then it was in front of me. My door. I sighed as I opened it. God it was good to be back.

I walked over to the bed and flopped backwards onto it, kicking my shoes off and then dragging my legs up as well. _Oh bed, how I missed you._

That was pretty much the last coherent thought I had before drifting off into Morpheus’ realm.

* * *

Bella wasn’t at the hospital when I returned from my third hunt in two weeks. I was truly over-sated at this point. Bella still smelled particularly good, but for the first time since I became what I am, the ever-aching burn at the back of my throat was practically non-existent. It wouldn’t last very long, maybe four or so days, but it would be very nice while it lasted. I could almost _feel_ the difference, like I was currently able to run faster than I’d ever been able to before.

Bella’s scent led away from the building, getting suddenly fainter at a parking spot, and then traveling south-west. I followed the trail, letting it guide me as I kept to the edge between forest and civilization until I emerged in the back yard of a simple two-story house, where the trail itself ended, leading up to one of the rooms on the second floor.

I climbed the wall swiftly, deftly unlatching the window with ease, and silently entered the room, closing the window behind me. Bella lay face up on her bed, her face the very image of calm tranquility. Satisfied with waiting until she woke on her own, I moved to the rocking chair at my left and sat down, allowing my body to lock up and freeze, slipping into that trance-like state that I’d come to enjoy as I listened to her heartbeat and breathing.

Keeping vigil over the human girl and waiting.

* * *

I blinked, staring at the ceiling. The peaked white ceiling. _My_ ceiling. It looked like it was dusk out, the orange light of the sun making the blinds glow.

I sat up and glanced to the left to look at my clock, and then nearly jumped out of my skin and screamed at the silhouette in the corner of my room.

Victoria was instantly in front of me, holding her hand against my mouth to muffle any sound while pressing a single finger to her lips, signaling me to be silent. I just nodded with wide eyes, my heart pounding in my chest. Her eyes dilated and darkened slightly in reaction, and she stepped away from me, walking backwards to sit in the chair in the corner of the room again as I turned on the light.

“…What are you doing here?” I hissed under my breath, trying to be as quiet as possible.

She looked mildly amused at my reaction as she sat there smugly, staring at me with brightly-colored red irises. “I kept you from dying. Isn’t it my responsibility to make sure your injuries aren’t permanent and that you aren’t harmed again?” She tilted her head slightly, piercing me with an unfathomable look.

“No…? Not really.”

Her expression blanked. “It seems you’re injured rather often, though,” she stated matter-of-factly, pointing to my right arm where the still-healing mass of criss-crossed lacerations from putting it through that glass table was. “That was fairly recent.”

I gave her a deadpan look, the sheer irony of her statement not seeming to register with her, and then sighed. She had a point. There was no denying my nature as a walking danger-magnet. Murphy’s law should have been renamed “Bella’s law” with my rate of luck. “I’ve managed to survive so far.” I muttered, not even managing to sound convincing to myself.

The danger of the situations I got myself in also seemed to be escalating. First Tyler’s car. Then Port Angeles. Then James. Then Jasper. And now this latest development with Victoria. None of it boded well for my future.

I had the morbid thought that at this point it was only a question of how many more times I’d be near-death until it became no longer “near”.

… Probably best not to think about it.

Victoria stared at me, unmoving. “Nevertheless, I’ll stay here.”

Well… I didn’t really mind that. I… wanted her to be around. She’d been the thing that had held my thoughts the most in the hospital as I tried to figure her out. Why she had saved me. Why she was entertaining me by even talking to me.

I… wasn’t any closer to an answer.

I sighed. “Alright.” And then I frowned. “But no eating my friends.”

Victoria rolled her eyes. “I haven’t been even been hunting in this region. But fine, I promise not to eat your precious human companions.”

“Good.”

“Bella!” Charlie’s voice called from the stairs, feet trudging up the steps until he was outside my door. “The Blacks invited us over for dinner, is that something you’d like to do?”

Urgh. The day I got home? Seeing Jacob would be nice, but I really just wanted to stay home and relax. “Um… I’d really rather stay here…” I answered. “But you should go.”

“You sure?” he asked hesitantly.

“I’ll be fine, Dad.” Seriously, he was treating me like I was made out of fine china or something.

“Alright, I should be home around ten.” I heard him step away, but then it sounded like he turned around. “You want me to bring anything back?”

“No, I’ll just make something simple for myself.”

“Okay.” I could just imagine him nodding. “I’ll see you later, Bells.” His footsteps moved away, getting fainter as they descended the stairs. After a minute, I heard his car start and the sound of tires on the driveway.

I turned to Victoria, who was looking at me curiously. “What?”

“I just can’t imagine what eating human food is like.”

At that very moment, my stomach grumbled, and I blushed. “Ah. Well, I guess you can come downstairs while I cook…” I said, remembering how fascinated the Cullens had been with my human habits. I stood up, letting myself lean against the bed while I waited for my head to recover from the sudden disorientation, and then heading towards my door before looking back at Victoria questioningly.

She nodded in acceptance and stood up as I opened the door and headed downstairs. I couldn’t hear her, but I was sure she was behind me.

Getting to the kitchen, I flipped on the light and pulled out a pot, filling it with water, salted it, and then put it on the burner before turning the knob for it up to the highest setting. I turned around, leaning on the counter looking at Victoria. She stood in the doorway, simply looking around at the room: the dishwasher, the electric stove, the oven, the refrigerator .

“Haven’t you been in a kitchen before?”

She turned to me and frowned. “I’m not _that_ out-of-touch. I’ve just never seen all of this in person. The last time I was actually in a kitchen for long enough to actually look at it was probably over eighty years ago. Electric refrigerators were relatively new at the time. Very large boxy things. Horribly loud. Dishwashers came even later.”

“Oh.” I responded dumbly. Victoria nodded, walking over to the fridge and opening it, looking inside before wrinkling her nose and closing the door. “What? Did something go off?” I wouldn’t be surprised considering I hadn’t been home in nearly two weeks, and Charlie rarely touched most of the stuff in there.

She shook her head. “Your food is so strange. It doesn’t smell bad, just… unappealing. It’s the preservatives that smell disgusting.”

The water reached a boil and I turned down the burner, getting a box of pasta out and pouring in a decent amount.

“Like that. It just smells like wheat,” she commented.

“Well, that’s what it is.” I replied, deadpan, reaching up to get a jar of tomato sauce and a saucepan out before putting the sauce on another burner to warm up. “And this is just tomatoes.” I looked at the jar, reading off the ingredients. “And basil. And olive oil.” I turned back to her. “…And garlic.”

She snorted. “Out of all of the myths concerning us, _that’s_ one of the most ridiculous. Why would some particular plant have the ability to affect us any differently than any other? That, holy water, and crosses.” Victoria looked at me and smirked. “I once posed as a nun while traveling. It made it so much easier to gain people’s trust. But I can say quite conclusively that the shape metal is put in does absolutely nothing. It’s all just lies propagated by the Volturi.”

“…the Volturi?”

Her expression darkened considerably. “The self-proclaimed ‘rulers’ of our kind. Aro, Caius, and Marcus.”

A memory came to me, Edward describing Carlisle’s history. “‘Patrons of the nighttime arts’,” I quoted.

She looked me in surprise. “What?”

“That’s how Edward described them. Those names. He said Carlisle stayed with them briefly.” I could remember the painting, two black-haired men next to a white one and Carlisle, standing on a balcony.

“They’re not ‘patrons’ of any kind,” she hissed, her voice sharp and with look of pure loathing gracing her expression. “They and their group act as the enforcers of the law, but are just as corrupt as any human institution. They sit on their thrones in Volterra, lording over us, all while ‘collecting’ vampires who would be useful to them and killing those of us who could possibly pose a threat with the excuse of making sure we aren’t discovered.”

“You have laws?” I asked in surprise, getting a strainer out, taking the pot off pasta off the burner and emptying it over the strainer into the sink.

“Not ‘laws’,” Victoria corrected, “ _law_. To keep our existence hidden. Basically, to leave no evidence and to make sure no humans who know about us live.” I gulped, and her expression relaxed a bit. “That’s why I was so surprised to find you here. I thought that that coven would take you with them or kill you.”

I almost dropped the plate I was getting out of the cabinet. “A-are you?” Was she just waiting? But that made no sense, she could have killed me in that forest. It didn’t make any sense.

A conflicted look passed over her face. “…No.”

I looked at her in confusion as I finished preparing my meal, pasta and sauce finally combined, and sat down at the table. “What?”

She rolled her eyes. “I already told you I’m not going to kill you once before, Bella.”

Hearing my name said like that, in her voice, made my stomach flip. It wasn’t anything like the sharp, hateful “Isabella” in the forest, but a calm, soft sound. I was so enamored by what my name sounded like from her that I froze, fork halfway to my mouth.

…And then I remembered what we were talking about, my temporary happiness draining away quickly.

“…T-then what are you going to do?”

Victoria grinned, the venom coating her teeth glinting in the light of the kitchen. “I’m going to turn you, of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I promised wolves. I’m sorry. I’ve already got all of those scenes written, but I’m not exactly happy with them or how they mesh into the plot. This chapter was getting really long anyways (around 7500 words for all the story scenes) and this was an absolutely perfect place to end it. So… I split it up into two parts. I know some of you probably hate endings like this, where you’re just hanging on the edge of your seat, and you want more _so bad_ , but absolutely I love them, both reading and writing them. They also tend to happen _a lot_ in my stories, just by accident, so I’ll preemptively apologize for that if you don’t like them, haha.
> 
> Please! Tell me your thoughts! I relish your reviews!
> 
> And as always, thank you for reading.


	4. Predator and Prey: Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing the conversation, running, and an unexpected visitor

_Victoria looked at me, that wondrously self-righteous smirk on her face, her vivid red eyes alight with emotion as she stood in the mouth of the alley._

_“Did you ever imagine it could be like this when you were human? That their deaths would taste so good?”_

_I turned to her, licking my mouth of the small amount of blood that had trickled out of a corner, savoring the flavor._

_“Never,” I answered honestly._

* * *

My mind ground to a halt. For a moment, no thoughts existed in my mind, just pure silence.

“What?” my mouth asked, without any prompting from my brain. It was like I wasn’t the one speaking, I was merely an observer in this conversation now.

“I said, I’m going to turn you,” Victoria repeated casually, as if she hadn’t just said some world-shakingly-large statement.

“ _Why?_ ”

“Because I have to,” she stated matter-of-factly. “It’s either kill you or turn you. There are no exceptions to the rule for the Volturi. And I don’t want you dead. I’ve already said that. That coven was skirting the line of the law. Technically, as you had been claimed by that _boy_ , they were allowed to keep you alive. But by leaving you alive even when they’ve left, they have quite clearly broken it. _I_ will not.” Her eyes had hardened to look like polished rubies, pinning me to my seat. “One does not cross the Volturi and live.” She said it with such surety and conviction that I didn’t doubt for a moment what she said was untrue.

 _“You don’t irritate the Volturi,”_ he’d said. _“Not unless you want to die.”_

I’d forgotten that conversation. Where he’d talked about what he would do if anything happened to me. He had called them that name, I’d simply blocked out the memory, it seemed.

But really? A vampire? _Me?_

I couldn’t even think straight.

Edward had been so adamantly against the idea that I’d never even had a chance to consider it. What it would be like.

I mean, _yeah_ , it had been something I’d wanted. Mortality wasn’t so great in the first place. But those thoughts had been because of Edward. He wouldn’t age, and I… would. Before, ( _before he abandoned you,_ my mind whispered) it had been about being able to spend forever with him. To be by his side eternally. But now… now there was no Edward. No _mate_. No nightmares of growing old while the person that I had pledged my very soul to didn’t.

Now, there was only me.

Well, me and Victoria, apparently.

I was still rather confused about this whole business surrounding her. It was abnormal, to say the least. Then again, I suppose that could be expected from interacting with vampires at all.

 _Why_ was she doing this? That was the real question my brain refused to comprehend.

 _Why_ was she paying attention to me? _Why_ was she going so far as to state that she would make me a vampire (allegedly to obey the laws, but I got the sense there was something more). _Why_ had she saved me?

**_Why?_ **

I mentally poked my thoughts back on the track of my suddenly sure conversion to vampirism via the redhead in front of me.

It wasn’t like I was necessarily against being one…

(Somewhere in my mind, I had the vindictive thought that if I, _when_ I became one, I’d more than likely get to see the look on his face eventually when he found out I was just like him, despite his best wishes, simply because we’d both have forever to run into each other again.)

I unconsciously traced the crescent-shaped scar on my hand that managed to always be at least a few degrees cooler than the rest of my skin as I thought it all over.

Victoria’s red eyes flicked down to the motion, and then back up to my face, her own head tilting slightly in curiosity.

“I never did understand how you managed to survive that,” she muttered. “And the scarring means that you had venom from two different sources. You might be the first human to have a scar from a vampire bite.”

I glanced down at my own fingertips, looking at the small bumps of raised scar tissue, bleached white with dormant venom.

“He sucked it out.” Her eyes narrowed, not in anger or annoyance, but in thought at my response. “James’ venom,” I supplied, looking back up at her. “He sucked it all out, even though I was his singer.”

“ _What!?_ ” she hissed. “You… you were his _singer!?_ ” She began pacing restlessly around the kitchen with silent footsteps, before freezing like a marble statue and looking at me. “And he was able to drink from you without turning you or draining you?”

I nodded, causing her to growl. “That is… very impressive.” It sounded like it took all of her effort to put the words out.

“He said that it was the hardest thing he’d ever done…”

“He must have been an extreme masochist,” she commented thoughtfully. I looked up, wordlessly agreeing. It had been something I’d thought a number of times myself. “You cannot begin to imagine what it is like to be in the presence of your _amhránaí._ Every cell in your body becomes united in the singular desire of getting you to drink their blood.”

“Have you ever…?” I questioned, trailing off.

“Twice,” she answered. “Twice have I come across one whose blood sings to my soul. The first… I could not contain myself despite being over two hundred at the time.” She turned away, and I got the sense that she was annoyed at herself over her lack of control. “The second…” She looked back and smirked at me. “The second I took my time hunting. The effort made it all the sweeter.”

I pushed the cold pasta on my plate around awkwardly, unable to think of a response.

“Still… I hadn’t even imagined that was possible. To drink without draining. Seems like it would be rather annoying.” She wrinkled her nose. “Not to mention extremely unsatisfying.”

And then Victoria frowned thoughtfully. “But why didn’t he simply let you be turned? Surely it would have made more sense than attempting to magically remove the venom. There couldn’t have been any guarantee that that would have worked.”

I sighed. _This_ argument. “Because of my soul.”

“Your soul? What does _that_ have to do with any of this?”

My fingers went back to tracing the crescent shape on my hand. “Because he thinks that you all don’t have one. That being a vampire means you lose it. That you’re all soulless monsters.”

Victoria blinked, and then laughed. “I don’t know whether to feel amused or insulted,” she said, before grinning widely, with that same bloodthirsty smile I’d seen in the clearing that day she’d chased me. “Monster? Of course. But soulless? Really?”

I nodded. “Before he–” I choked on my words. “Before _they_ left, it was all I really wanted. To be one of you. But he refused, and he wouldn’t let any of his family do it either. He was very traditional.”

She snorted. “That’s not ‘traditional’. That’s just indoctrinated.” Victoria turned and looked out the window above the kitchen sink. “It’s not even a very original school of thought either. Most religions consider all animals to have souls, but only humans to have immortal ones that can get you into heaven or whatever afterlife you prefer. Now, I’m personally of the opinion that we gave up the immortality of our soul in exchange for an immortal body, and our soul will die for good if our body does. We only get ‘eternity’ for as long as we can stay alive, but we’re also never going to be judged by God for what we do.”

I’m pretty sure my mouth was hanging open when she turned around and smirked at me. “I told you I posed as a nun. I was a _very_ convincing nun.”

“I-I see.”

She ‘hm’-ed in acknowledgment. “If we didn’t have souls, all we’d be is cold, calculating creatures, nothing but a shadow of what we once were.”

“H-how do you know that?”

Victoria got a far-off look in her eyes. “I’ve seen it happen. You’d be wrong to think that vampires are the only phantasmal species and supernatural creatures, there’s a whole _world_ that you don’t know of.”

“Like what?” My curiosity had been piqued. Edward had never talked about others, though I suppose it made sense. My knowledge was limited by him and the Quileute legends.

“Werewolves. Witches. True succubi, not just that trio in the north. Sorcerers, enchantresses, and magi. Though they’re rarer these days. _Kami_. _Oni Shu_ and _Akuma_. _Ghūls_. We even used to have true demons, the _Akhradah_ , but they disappeared before I was born. Dragons, the _Ängsälvor_ , the _aes sídhe_ , the _aos sí_ , and the _Tuatha Dé Danann_ , which you might know by the common names of white elves, fairies, and nature spirits, but they’re holed up in _Ynys Afallon_ , Avalon, from what I know. And then there are the primordial forces.” She shuddered. “The Forest of Einnashe, the Devouring Forest, for one.” Her attention refocused on me. “There are things much worse than vampires, Bella. You are extremely lucky to have encountered such a benevolent example of our world first.”

Holy shit.

Victoria pierced me with blood-red eyes, grinning. “So, Isabella Marie Swan, how do you feel about gambling with your soul?”

* * *

Running always gave me a sense of freedom. Being one of the fastest of our kind (if not _the_ fastest, I’ve never met someone who can outrun me), it became a form of solace other than sitting and contemplating.

Following my length conversation with Bella, she’d retired to her room in silent thought, and night had fallen. Instead of watching over her as had become my routine, I had become antsy from the discussion, and went running as a way to calm my nerves. The talk had brought up bad memories.

I repressed a shudder. I never wanted to think of that place again.

Some things were better left as they were.

I was brought out of my thoughts by the uncanny sense of being watched.

There was something in the forest with me. I could feel it.

The persistent nagging in the back of my mind that had been growing over the times I’d run through these forests was becoming progressively larger, warning me of… something. Something that could easily harm me.

That was very disconcerting. If it had been another vampire, I would have noticed the scent almost immediately, but all I could smell was an abnormally pungent scent of wolves. More than likely a sizable pa–

_BEHIND!!Jump!_

My body acted on its own, leaping into the air as something sailed under me. Something very large, and very black.

_LeftFlipRollRUN!!_

My gift took over, controlling my actions as I relaxed into the feeling instinctively. It directed my movements and the path I took like a marionette.

_DUCKrightCoilLaunchSprint!_

It was too fast, easily keeping up with me, even with the constant bursts of speed my body put on.

Where. Wherewherewhere could I go to get away?

…Civilization.

Yes. Yes, that could work.

I turned sharply to the left, heading in the direction of Forks. The miles disappeared beneath my feet as I ran, trying to escape. The thing seemed to sense what I was trying to do, though, and sped up, strafing me on my right. It gave me the chance to finally recognize it. It was a wolf, a giant wolf that was as tall as I was, teeth bared. I felt that those gleaming white canines were not just for show, and would be just as effective at harming me as another vampire’s teeth.

It lunged at me, and I flipped over it, using its back as a handspring to propel me forward while simultaneously shoving the black wolf backwards and down, hopefully slowing it enough that it wouldn’t be able to catch up.

I raced forward, and finally the town was in front of me, just beyond the trees. I slowed myself, skidding as I dropped to the snail’s-pace that humans walked at, before quickly striding out of the forest as if there was nothing wrong.

A growl came from behind me, and I turned, staring into the thick woods and underbrush. Feral yellow eyes stared back at nearly the same height as my own, but the giant wolf only seemed to pace back and forth at the forest’s edge, not emerging. Twisting back away I walked forward, keeping my hearing focused on the snorts and growls of rage-filled agitation.

I didn’t relax until I’d reached the first sidewalk.

This wasn’t good. I’d have to be much more careful in leaving and entering Forks if that thing was around all the time. It was an unknown, and I didn’t like not knowing about things that could affect my hunts. Especially potentially deadly things.

For the first time in a century and a half, I felt true fear.

* * *

My night had been mostly spent thinking of what the redhead and I had talked about yesterday evening. Thoughts about souls. About the things she’d mentioned. About the world I was apparently getting myself forcefully inducted into whether I wanted it or not.

Right now, Victoria sat in the corner of my room on my rocking chair, watching me as I replied to Renée’s weekly email. She’d heard of the Cullen’s desertion from Charlie, and had predictably sent a giant email full of concern and randomness as was completely normal for her.

“Bella! There’s someone here to see you!”

…What? Angela would have called me if she was going to come over, and nobody else from school would have simply shown up out of the blue.

I looked over at Victoria, and saw that she had frozen still, looking completely out-of-place as a marble statue sitting on my pathetic wooden rocking chair.

“…Victoria?”

There was something in her eyes. Something almost like fear. But that was impossible, right? What could a vampire possibly have to be afraid of?

“It’s here,” she whispered, and I couldn’t tell if it was in response to me, or to herself.

“What is?”

She turned to look at me. “The thing in the forest.”

“Wh-what?” I stuttered. “What _thing_?”

Victoria breathed, almost as if she was trying to force herself to act normal, yet failing at it all the same. “A giant wolf.” She shook her head. “ _Wolves_. They’re dangerous. Dangerous enough to harm one of _us_. I’ve only seen one, but somehow, it’s here.”

“Bells! You awake?” Charlie called.

“Yeah! Hold on a minute!” I shifted my attention back to Victoria, and took in the unfathomable expressions on her face.

“I’ll… I’ll be right back, okay? I’ll just go see what’s going on,” I told her, getting up and walking to the door.

She nodded mechanically, eyes glazed over and not even looking at me. I took that as my cue to leave, opening the door and stepping out into the hallway, closing it behind me with a ‘click’ that echoed with a certain finality.

Taking a deep breath, I headed towards the stairs.

* * *

I hadn’t felt so powerless, so **helpless** , in a very long time.

_It’shereIt’shereIt’shere_

It was downstairs. I didn’t know how that giant wolf could be downstairs, but it was. My sense of self-preservation was _screaming_ at me to do nothing, to avoid drawing attention to myself at all costs. It was so intense it felt like I was nauseous, like the one time I had consumed something that wasn’t blood and ended up having to regurgitate it later.

_StayDon’tmoveDon’tbreathe_

If I tried running away…

_DeathDeathDEATHbyclawsandteeth_

…I was trapped.

How was I supposed to protect the human if she willingly threw herself into these situations where I couldn’t help her?

I couldn’t.

* * *

I stepped into the front room, seeing Dad standing next to another large figure that I felt like I should know.

Charlie looked up, smiling when he saw me. “Bella, you remember Sam Uley, right? He’s the one who, uh…” He shifted uncomfortably for a moment before stilling. “…found you?”

Oh. “U-uh. Right.” I suppose I should remember that, but those days were only a blur in my mind. The day Victoria found me was the first one I could remember with real clarity ever since… then.

“I heard about what happened, I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay now.” The boy’s voice was warm and deep, with a certain authority that commanded attention. The sort of voice that would get you hired in a heartbeat if you applied for a position in public relations.

Charlie turned to Sam. “Would you like anything to drink? Water, coke, …I think Bella’s got some iced tea in the fridge…”

“Water, please.” My dad nodded, heading to the back of the house and the kitchen.

Sam stared at me, and I shifted uncomfortably. “Um… so…?”

“Are you doing alright?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I answered, shrugging both shoulders, drawing attention to the ever-present cast on my left arm. “I should really be used to this all by now.” I laughed at my own sad fate.

He nodded. “I just wanted to see ho–”

His sentence was interrupted by the click of the house’s central air fan turning on. I wouldn’t have even noticed it except for the fact that he halted mid-word, freezing.

Sam’s eyes bulged, his nostrils flaring, and he started shaking. Almost… vibrating. A sense of dread washed over me as I remembered what Victoria had said to me upstairs: “It’s here.” How could I have forgotten that? Had she been talking about Sam?

With two steps he had crossed the room, towering over me. “Is there someone else here?”

“W-what?” I sputtered.

“Is there anybody else in this house other than you, your father, and myself?” he questioned, before inhaling deeply like a bloodhound on a hunt.

“I-I…” Without even waiting for a response, he stepped past me into the main hallway, moving towards the stairs. “N-no. No! There’s nobody else here!”

He looked sideways at me as he strode up the first few stairs, his expression betraying his complete disbelief in my words.

I sped up in order to rush past him, reaching the landing first, my hands out in front of me towards him, warding him off. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Move, Bella,” he commanded, and my first instinct was to simply give him what he wanted. But then a flash of red was in my mind, reminding me of who was in my room. Who I was doing this for. Who I was… protecting.

“Why?” I asked, demanding a reason.

“Because there’s someth– _one_ in your house who doesn’t belong here,” he responded sharply, stepping forward again. But instead of letting him move forward, I stuck out my arms to either side to stop him, something I knew was impossible if he really wanted to get past me.

“Get away from her,” a voice hissed. It was a high-pitched voice that sounded like windchimes and tinkling glass combined together in perfect harmony drifted down from the top of the stairs behind me. Sam and I both whipped our heads up and around to look towards the source of the words.

I never thought I’d feel so relieved to look at Victoria, to see the predatory redhead that only two weeks ago had nearly killed me intentionally, but I can say now that I did.

“ ** _You._** ” The shaking in Sam’s body increased as he stared at her. It looked his skin was rippling, and there was something waiting to burst out from underneath it. “I’m not the one who should be stepping away, _bloodsucker_. I won’t let you touch her.”

…

…Bloodsucker? He thought… no, it sounded more like he _knew_ she was a vampire.

And then everything just clicked.

You know how sometimes, you have random bouts of complete lucidity? Where everything just falls into place? Like the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle getting put down to form the image. A “eureka” moment. That’s what happened to me.

That final piece right now was a single memory that popped into my head. It was Jake’s voice, telling me the stories that had ended up providing me the ultimate answer to everything I had been trying to discover six months ago. _“They’re called ‘The Cold Ones’. Natural enemies of the wolf–well, not the wolf, really, but the wolves that turn into men, like our ancestors. You would call them–”_

“–werewolves,” I finished, the sound escaping my mouth in a whispered hush, yet managing to echo in the stairwell like I had yelled it. Sam’s shuddering abruptly stopped as he froze, and both of them looked at me, Sam appearing shocked, while Victoria’s expression was as indecipherable as ever.

But it all made sense. A wolf in the forest. A wolf that was dangerous, even to Victoria’s kind. A wolf that was dangerous to freaking _vampires_.

_“Don’t go in the woods alone again.” “Why?” “Because I’m not always the most dangerous thing out there. Let’s leave it at that.”_

He hadn’t been talking about other vampires… “He was talking about you. The Quileute wolves.”

Sam’s eyes widened and he paused, as if he was considering whether he should just play off my statement, or deal with it. His eyes narrowed, and I knew he’d decided on confrontation. “How do you know about that?” he demanded.

“Does it matter?” I laughed humorlessly. “I know about all of it. About you. About the Cullens. About _her_.” I said, looking over my shoulder at Victoria, and then turning back to Sam. “What you all are.”

“Obviously you don’t, or you would know that she isn’t like the _Cullens_.” He spat their name like a curse. “She’s just a monster that deserves to be put down,” Sam snarled while stepping forward, menacingly, as if he would push past me by force, but I held my ground, not allowing him to advance up the stairs towards Victoria any further.

It must have looked ridiculous, this 5’4" girl standing up to an easily 6’7" twenty year-old boy. But I did it, glaring at him from my place on the step above the landing.

My long-repressed anger and annoyance began bubbling up to the surface as my eyes narrowed. “You don’t know **anything**. _She_ was the one who kept me from dying two weeks ago. So get off your damn high-horse and don’t make assumptions about people before you know them.”

His expression of surprise came back, but then quickly disappeared as he matched my stare. “She could be tricking you. She’s a–”

“A true vampire? A _bloodsucker_?” I finished, cutting him off with a scathing tone. He nodded jerkily, the muscles in his neck as taut as steel cable. “I don’t care what she eats. She doesn’t hunt around here, so it shouldn’t even matter to you.”

His head shook angrily, the vibrations building again. “That’s not how it works, Bella. They kill humans, we kill them,” he rumbled.

I grit my teeth and seethed. “If you want to kill her, then you’ll have to kill me first.”

“…” Sam simply stood there, his lips pursed tightly while his eyes flicked between my face and Victoria’s. His entire body looked wound like a spring, and out of the corner of my eye I could see Victoria shifting slightly, her stance becoming more predatory and aggressive.

“Bella?” Charlie called. “You guys up there?”

My Dad’s voice broke the tension, and both Sam and I turned towards the source of the voice. A slight breeze blew across my neck, and I knew the redhead behind me had retreated, most likely to my room where she had been before.

“We’re fine, Dad. I was just thanking him for helping me before,” I answered calmly, managing to hide the tension and enmity I felt towards Sam at the moment.

Sam kept looking at me impassively, his eyes hard until Charlie called out again from the base of the stairs, looking up at the large boy in front of me. “Sam?”

Sam turned around and walked smoothly down the stairs, as if we hadn’t just had the equivalent of a supernatural Mexican standoff in my stairwell. I followed close behind, noticing Charlie holding out a bottle of water for Sam. “Here you go, son.”

Sam took the bottle, managing to tower over even my father. “Thank you, Officer Swan. I think it’d be best if I get going. Emily’s expecting me home soon. It was nice seeing you.”

My dad nodded “Of course. Just let me know if you ever want to drop by. It’s the least I can do to thank you for finding Bella.”

Sam returned the nod and walked to the front door, opening it and moving onto the porch towards his car, with me following him out at a safe distance.

He opened the car door and then looked over at me, his eyes hard. “This isn’t over yet. Expect to hear from us.”

And then he drove off, leaving me standing on the porch, looking at the place he had been, and wondering why the hell my life had to be so complex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> amhránaí (Gaelic) - singer
> 
> * * *
> 
> So one of the biggest things about _New Moon_ that bothered me was that it took forever for Bella to connect the dots between Jake and what he said less than a year ago about the Cullens and the Quileute, something that she should remember easily because of how important it was in affecting her life. Especially from someone that was in AP classes as a sophomore… _especially_ AP Bio. Oh, AP Bio. I do not miss you at all.
> 
> Things are happening! (And you’re just sitting over here thinking “it’s about damn time” aren’t you). Have no fear, for I finally have things planned. … _Exciting_ things. Drama things. Action things. Slow-burn romance things. All the things. Oh boy.
> 
> I really like the little snippets at the beginnings of the chapters. They’re a lot of fun to write, too.
> 
> Please! Leave a review! Tell me what you think! Every little thing brightens my day and helps me make this better for you guys.


	5. The Spear-Shield Paradox | Or: What happens when an Unstoppable Force meets an Immovable Object

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unsettling thoughts, an agreement, a misunderstanding, and a confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to RedViking96 for being the only person who recognized some of the more obscure references last chapter and commenting on them. Have an internet cookie.
> 
> It is _really_ hard doing the buildup to the fluffy romance bits I want to get to (and probably you too). Unfortunately, they have a very specific set of requirements, and I can’t just rush into them. At its heart, this is not an adventure story with a romantic subplot, like all of my other major stories, this is a romantic drama. Which is something I’ve never done before. And that… is really humbling for me as a writer. I’m finding tons of places I could improve, and yeah, I’ll probably go back and revise the hell out of this story once I’m done.

* * *

_I cracked my eyes open, looking over at the tall girl who sat next to the windowsill of my beige hospital room._

_“What’re you reading?”_

_Angela lifted the book, showing me the cover, something about Psychology._

_“Right. Forgot you were taking that class.”_

_She nodded, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s interesting. There’s so much we’re still learning about ourselves.”_

_“Like what?”_

_“… Have you ever heard of the region-beta paradox?”_

_“…No?”_

_“It’s the fact that people can sometimes recover faster from more intense emotions and pain than from less distressing experiences, when usually you’d expect the shock to last longer. People think that greater emotional trauma can somehow trigger an automatic psychological defense process that reduces the distress. Kind of like those fire sprinklers you see that use mercury to release water when a room gets too hot. Weird, huh?” I nodded, and Angela sighed. “Even now, we still know almost nothing about how the human mind works. How are we supposed to help other people if we can’t even know ourselves?”_

* * *

A week. An entire week, and _nothing_. I woke up, went to school (which seemed utterly pointless, now), came home, did my homework, made dinner for Charlie and I, and sometimes talked with Victoria if she deigned to show up in my room that night. I still didn’t know why it didn’t bother me that she was going in and out of my room when I wasn’t there; it should have made me uncomfortable, but it just didn’t.

Maybe it was because I had nothing to hide from her? She’d seen me at my lowest, saw just how far I had sunk, and then for inexplicable reasons, saved me from that.

She wasn’t like Edward or the rest of his family, where they tried to be human. Victoria was Victoria, ruthless, breathtaking predator and all. She didn’t hide who she was, so why should I?

It was… liberating. With Edward, I felt that every action to get closer had been a battle. That I couldn’t be _me_ , because who would like weak, pathetic, human Bella? Especially someone like him. Contrary to that, Victoria had sought _me_ out. Granted, it hadn’t exactly been with the best intentions, but after she had failed, after she had _saved me_ , she came back. And continued to, of her own accord.

My dreams had shifted recently. Instead of the nightmares where I’d wake up, tears staining my pillow, _she_ had been in them. It wasn’t that we were doing anything. She was just there. Sometimes in a forest. Other times in a clearing where her skin was like alabaster and shone in the moonlight. Whenever things _did_ happen in my dreams, they were the usual impossible-to-interpret sequences. Except… if at any time I looked behind me, she would be there. Watching me.

It felt like she was watching over me, guarding me from anything that could happen or would try to hurt me.

For the first time in months, I felt _safe_.

* * *

I was trapped.

I knew this without doubt.

… And it was not a good feeling.

I have never, _never_ been put in a situation like this before as what I am now. I’ve always been able to escape. Always able to get away. Always able to survive.

It’s what I do best, after all.

But now I was trapped, my instincts telling me that the only thing I could do was wait. Wait until there was an opening and then take it as quickly as possible.

Those… _wolves_ (they were not werewolves, but something I hadn’t ever seen before, although I had an idea) were constantly in the woods, and I knew that if I ventured out beyond Forks, whether it be through the forests or via the roads that often had no other signs of life, they would chase me until I was torn apart and dead.

Something I didn’t particularly want to happen anytime soon. Not to mention that I would be leaving Bella behind.

…Bella.

I sighed, my thoughts brought to the brunette girl who had drawn my attention and interest so quickly, like no other human had before. Who made me _want_ to preserve her, to keep her so she could survive and be a constant, an anchor in the unstable mess that was now my current existence.

With those wolves, my vague plans had became significantly more complex. I did not want to put her through the transformation in an urban environment, especially in her own house where her father also lived. I got the sense that having her own father as her first meal would not go over well with her once she was fully lucid again.

Which meant I had to get her out of this town at some point, and _that_ would be troublesome no matter when it happened.

My fingers drummed a silent staccato on the arm of the rocking chair where I sat, watching her as she slept.

I _could_ just kidnap her, using her as a shield to prevent myself from being attacked.

…Let’s call that plan C.

Plan A would be convincing her to leave with me willingly.

Either way, it was looking like we would need to leave sooner rather than later. Unless of course, we were able to deal with these wolves. Even then I wanted to leave. I did not like dealing with a species I’d never encountered before, a species I had no idea how to kill or protect myself from. Not to mention they seemed extremely hostile towards me.

The other problem that made me want to leave soon was that I was currently unable to leave her house, and my presence would more than likely eventually discovered by Bella’s father, no matter what I did. Which… would not be good. Killing him would be a solution, but, again, would probably not go over well with her, considering I was working to gain her trust, acceptance, and eventual… attachment. (Friendship? Partners?)

I did not want to deal with a recalcitrant and obstinate newborn when I turned her. They’re already enough trouble as it is.

I still didn’t know what I wanted besides _her_ , all I had was the sense of wanting, **needing** to be around her, like some sort of captured moon. She’d recovered from the state I’d seen of her in the forest faster than I could have predicted. Then again, humans always have managed to adapt and recover in the blink of an eye to one of us, growing and becoming stronger from the experience.

I had been telling the truth when I had said I was jealous of their ability to do that. We don’t recover as easily from wounds like that, if at all.

I drew a breath, inhaling Bella’s scent, enjoying the sweetness and slight tang in it while the nearly insatiable burn in my throat was still suppressed by my recent feeding habits.

Gluttony, thy name is Victoria.

Chuckling softly to myself, I watched her as her chest continued its constant rise and fall. A soothing pattern I had learned to revel in. How long had it been since I’d been able to sleep? How long since I could dream?

Those were some of my sharpest memories from my human life. The nightmares. No, not just nightmares, night-terrors. Dreams too real, yet somehow managing to be _worse_. Dreams of trying to run through endless, darkened labyrinthine halls without escape, trying to get away, trying to disappear, but never succeeding, always being caught in the end. Caught and…

I stopped the unconscious motion that my hand was making on my arm as soon as I noticed it, not having even realized that it had move from where it had been.

I hadn’t thought about _**that**_ in a very long time.

Our human memories do not fade. We may forget our humanity. We may forget the little things that are considered unimportant, like what it’s like to taste real food, or how relaxing it is to wake up after a good night’s sleep.

But the memories of the events that made us who we are? That define us? …Much like any other fundamental part of us that is brought forward into this existence, they are reinforced and enhanced, bringing out details that had otherwise been missed or thought to be forgotten, details that as a human were a struggle to remember.

Details that sometimes, you don’t want to remember.

I had lied to Bella in the hospital. I could easily remember that I’d had a broken arm, and then later in my life a rib. But I hadn’t wanted to admit it to her, perhaps out of selfish pride.

…

The memories that define us are often harsh, cruel things. The bad ones are always easier to recall than the good. Always the ones that leave the deepest impression to mold who we are. That cut the sharpest in our minds. Out of everything, those moments are the ones brought forward out of the depths and made all the clearer. In the end all we are is a preserved distillation of what we were before, the core of a person crystallized so that even though now it is beautiful to look at in the light, the flaws and darkness that exist become all the more obvious.

So we all inevitably try to wash the memories away, to bury them under the weight of decades and centuries of new memories, and for the most part, it’s successful. Some more than others. But they’re still always there, lurking out of sight in the back of the mind.

Maybe that’s why we can’t sleep. A small mercy granted by whoever, _whatever_ , created us in the first place. Making it so that our enhanced thoughts and memories can’t conspire to create delusions and terrors that are as real, _more_ real than reality, terrors that would become forever engraved in us thanks to our inability to forget anything anymore.

…A disturbing thought.

I seemed to be having a lot of those this week. First the Forest, then those caused by an over-active imagination speculating on those wolves, and now… _this_.

Then again, compared to the dullness of the past six months, I couldn’t say I wasn’t appreciating the change in pace.

It felt like some sort of great wound was healing, slowly closing up and forming scar tissue. Every day I felt alive in a way I hadn’t before. A feeling that was caused by her.

A feeling… I didn’t want to lose.

* * *

Saturday the fifteenth I was home. Charlie had left, as he had work like normal. I was sitting on my bed, a book in my hands. Not one of my usual books, but a poetry compilation opened to _Ulysses_ by Tennyson for my AP Lit class.

Victoria shifted from her place in the corner of my room, immediately drawing my attention away from the poem and my lackluster and uninspired analysis, the fact she had intentionally moved meaning she had something to say.

“I need you to tell me everything you know about that boy and what he is,” she said smoothly.

I blinked. “Who?”

“That boy, the wolf one that was here last week.”

We hadn’t talked about Sam since that day, and I’d gotten the impression she was deliberately avoiding it and hadn’t brought it up either.

I sat up straighter against my headboard, attempting to think of something I could give her. “U-uh, well, all I know is what my friend Jake told me. He said he wasn’t supposed to, and I guess now we know why…” I shook my head to clear it. “He said that the Quileute were descended from wolves. And that they had stories about your kind. About vampires.”

Her gaze focused, getting more intense.

“He said that they’re your natural enemies, and that they had really old stories about you guys, but also more recent ones. The more recent ones were about a group that came here during his um… great-grandfather’s time, I think it was. Except they didn’t hunt humans, and weren’t dangerous to the Quileute. So, they made this agreement, that the vampires would stay off their lands, and in exchange, they wouldn’t reveal your existence.”

Victoria snorted. “If they had, the entire pathetic tribe would have been exterminated by the Volturi.”

“…Yeah, well, they probably knew as much about them as I did before you told me,” I countered.

“And this recent group, I’m guessing they were that coven that left?” I nodded in confirmation. “I can tell you right now, they are not werewolves, no matter what they may think. True children of the moon are savage, vicious creatures who lose themselves during their transformation, killing anything they set their eyes on. Oddly enough, the myths are surprisingly accurate concerning them. …Most likely Marcus’ doing. They are vulnerable to silver, are largely bipedal, and only ever transform during the full moon.”

_Real_ werewolves? I swallowed nervously. “So… what is Sam?”

She paused, looking thoughtful. “If I had to guess, a shapeshifter of some sort, whose form is that of a wolf. How this group acquired the ability, I don’t know, but there are rumors of similar people in the Far East. And no matter what they say, they are not our natural enemy. We have no natural enemy, other than ourselves.”

“…You’re trapped,” I realized with a dread certainty, a chill spreading through me and completely erasing the warmth I had felt.

She grimaced. “Yes. Quite.”

“There’s got to be _something_ we can do! They can’t… they can’t just keep you in Forks, can they? You have to hunt sometime.”

“We?” she repeated. I shifted uncomfortably at my slip. I expected her to reply with something like “there is no ‘we’”, but instead Victoria gained a small warm smile that made my stomach flip-flop and my heart beat faster.

Victoria’s smile shifted into a thoughtful expression. “I don’t know. Acting without more information would be rash. The scents I’ve been picking up while running indicated more than one of these creatures. Their paths surround the entire town, and had begun extending further into the mountains. And I have no doubt that they will be more vigilant that ever, especially in this area, now that they know I am here.”

I was interrupted mid-sentence by my cellphone ringing, as if some deity had heard our discussion and decided to intervene.

I got up off the bed and walked over to my desk to pick it up, opening it. It wasn’t a number I recognized. Pressing the green “accept” button, I held it up to my ear.

“Hello?”

Sam’s voice answered back on the other end. “We need to talk.”

Speak of the fucking devil.

“What’s there to talk about?” I snapped at the phone, and by proxy Sam.

“Bella, I’m sorry for what happened before–”

I cut him off. “No, you listen to _me_ , Sam Uley. If you think I’m going to accept you threatening one of the only good things that’s happened to me recently–” I blinked, recognizing what I’d said with a jolt, and then realized the absolute _truth_ behind the statement.

I don’t know when it had happened, but Victoria **was** that. She’d become more than just another person or friend. She’d become someone I was willing to go to such lengths as to face an angry werewol– shapshifter for, with little thought for myself. And she in return had fought her own fear, no, outright _terror_ that day and come out of my room to confront Sam on the staircase. All for me.

The warm butterflies in my stomach returned en masse.

Bringing myself back to reality, I realized I’d been quiet for almost a second, which kind of ruined the effect of what I’d been going for. But I still thought I could make it seem like the pause had been intentional. “–then you’ve got another thing coming,” I finished darkly.

There was another silence on the other end, this one lasting more than a few seconds. “I see. The elders want to meet with you and your leech.”

I heard Victoria hiss in the background from where she sat, and I had to stop myself from doing the same in anger. I was very tempted to tell them to go fuck themselves, but then I looked over at the redhead on the other side of the room. She nodded, barely.

I sighed to myself. “Fine,” I spat. “But we get to choose where. And when.”

Yet another silence, now with murmured voices on the other end. “Agreed. When and where then?”

I turned towards Victoria, who was now standing right next to me having crossed the room in a blur. She held out her hand, and I gave her the phone.

“The clearing a mile south-west of where the one-oh-one turns south. Three in the morning, tomorrow night.”

I could almost hear Sam growl on the other end of the line before the call ended suddenly. Victoria looked at the phone, annoyed, and then flipped it shut and handed it back.

“Why so close to the highway?”

“Because I don’t trust them. And we can’t run away very far if they decide to attack. We’ll need to use your vehicle.”

I looked at her in curiosity, wondering what she was thinking, “I don’t see what my truck’s going to do for us.” As much as I loved the hell out of it, there was no way the poor thing would be able to move us any faster than she could.

…I avoided thinking about what it would be like to have her carry me while running. Again. Except I wasn’t conscious for the first time, so that one didn’t count, right?

“It will afford us some measure of protection. They can’t attack us if we’re both in it, as they’re more likely to harm you than me, and I get the sense that they’re extremely hesitant to cause any harm to a human,” she explained.

Well, that made sense.

“But why tomorrow night?”

“I need to come up with other plans. I don’t trust them not to try something.”

“So then… like what?” What sorts of plans was she thinking of?

“Like the possibility of leaving the area,” she said suddenly.

**_What!?_ **

She looked at me curiously and I realized I’d said that out loud.

The thought of Victoria leaving…

I couldn’t think, it felt like time had stopped in that single moment, my heart failing to beat. The hole in my chest, the one I hadn’t paid any attention to in recent weeks that had felt like it had been disappearing little by little thanks to the redhead in front of me, was suddenly there again, ripped open.

“Bella?” I looked up at my name towards the redhead across the room, but found my vision obscured by something.

I brought my fingers up to my face and felt something wet on my cheeks. Pulling my hand away, I stared at it curiously.

Oh. I was crying.

Something about that seemed wrong.

I felt detached, like I was looking through a tunnel into my room, not actually present, but instead watching from some other participant’s point of view.

“Bella?” Victoria repeated softly, and I turned towards her once again.

She moved slowly, even for a human, standing up from the chair and walking over to where I sat on the bed, closing my homework and placing it on my bedside table before climbing up to sit next to me. She hesitated for a moment, and then reached around and grasped my shoulders, drawing me towards her until she was holding me in her arms against her chest. I turned into her shirt without a thought, latching out and grabbing her, embracing her.

“I don’t know what’s wrong, but there is nothing to cry about.” Victoria put her right hand on my head and began running her fingers through my hair soothingly.

I didn’t even question what she was doing, what it meant for her to do this. I didn’t think about how out of character from what I’d seen of her it was to act like this, to be _comforting_ me.

All I could do was hold her tighter, gripping the back of her shirt and never wanting to let go.

I didn’t want her to leave. I’d known that she might go eventually, lose interest in me and move on, but I hadn’t predicted just how _important_ she would become. She was my tie to reality, to sanity. And losing that… I didn’t want to think about it. There were no goods ends down that path.

Gently pushing me backwards and unlatching me from her, with a strength I could not even come close to opposing, she reached out with a hand and tilted my head so that I was forced to look right into her eyes.

Those wonderfully awful crimson-colored eyes.

“Now, why are you crying?”

I struggled to form words, to create a sound in my throat, but I could only shake my head.

“Please tell me.” I was surprised at how polite her request was, and looked back up.

“Leaving,” I managed to choke out breathlessly. “You.”

Victoria’s forehead wrinkled minutely, and then her eyes widened, a look of dawning comprehension. “No.” Her denial was as vehement as anything I had ever heard. “You daft, foolish human. Not me. _Us._ ” She drew me back in. “I will not leave you behind. Not now. Not _ever_.”

I heard a hint of possessiveness underneath her words, and it was only confirmed by what she said next.

“You are _mine_.” I could sense those words held so many more meanings than what they were on the surface. They were a promise. A promise of safety. Of care. Of dependability. Of protection. And perhaps most importantly, a promise of loyalty and devotion, that I would never be thrown aside, never experience loneliness again, because she would _always_ be there.

I buried my head back into her and began crying again.

I didn’t know if they were tears of relief, or of pure, unadulterated happiness.

* * *

“Bella?” I didn’t know why, but suddenly the girl had started crying. I could smell the tears all the way on the other side of the room. I was confused, and didn’t like it. “Bella?”

I stood up and walked towards her where she had frozen still, like a statue. She was more like one of us in that instant than I had ever seen before. It was a simple matter to move aside the unnecessary things in front of her.

I debated what I should do. Something in me felt _wrong_. Seeing her like this, it was _wrong_. She shouldn’t be like this. I didn’t _want_ her to be like this.

Moving onto her mattress, I sat down next to her.

This was closer than I had ever been to her before, even those times I had closely watched her sleep, and I was eminently aware of it. The warmth of her body was nearly intoxicating.

It was instinctual. It simply felt… _right_ to reach out and pull her towards me.

When was the last time I had done this? I had held another person as they laid their soul bare in a way that only despair could cause?

I could only think of a few times with Anne, and even then, it had been rare as she had usually been the one to comfort me.

Bella almost melted into the action, holding me to her with an impressive amount of strength for a human. I allowed her to, even as the blood in her neck practically sung to me. But the sound was muted, and I had never appreciated my recent indulgence more than in that moment.

I didn’t even notice when I had begun running my fingers through her hair, but it had always been something that Anne had done for me, and again it felt like it was something _right_ that eased the _wrong_ I felt.

Once she had seemed to calm down slightly, to breathe easier, I eased her back and brought her head up so I could see her eyes. Eyes red from tears, glazed over as if she wasn’t truly present. Yet another thing that felt wrong.

“Now, why are you crying?”

A light seemed to come back into her eyes slightly before disappearing again as if it had never been there. She shook her head minutely and then froze again.

“Please, tell me.” A word that felt strange on my lips. But I wanted, no, _needed_ to know, and if this was what was required then so be it.

The light brightened once more, and she opened her mouth, but only the smallest of cracks. “Leaving. You.”

I blinked, not understanding what could possibly be wro–

Oh, damn. I should have expected this with how she had been in the forest. No will to live. No desire to continue. Broken, abandoned, discarded. She had immediately thought I was doing the same.

“No,” I said, stressing the word, trying to convey just how incorrect her assumption had been. That had never even been considered in my plans. She was in every one of them. “You daft, foolish human. Not me. _Us._ ” I pulled her closer, trying to be careful of her fragile human body yet still needing more than words to explain everything. “I will not leave you behind. Not now. Not _ever_. You are _mine_.” Mine to care for. Mine to protect. Mine to hold and keep so that she would always be at my side.

_Mine._

* * *

I had fallen asleep that night quickly, emotionally exhausted yet my heart had never felt lighter. Nothing in the world could have brought me down.

My time the next day, Sunday, was spent wading through a veritable bucketload of homework at my desk, make-up that I was still working on, only interrupted to prepare and eat dinner with Charlie. Otherwise, Victoria lounged on my bed, watching me just like _he_ had done while he was here. I didn’t mind her doing it, especially after her words last night, but even thinking about Edward watching me now gave me shivers.

I went to sleep at ten, too tired from healing and the narcotics I was still taking to try and fight it. Victoria woke me at 2:30 like we’d agreed, and then immediately surprised me by picking me up and jumping out the window, making me squeak before I was able to calm myself and my pounding heart, but I knew she’d heard because of that self-righteous smirk she gave me.

Stupid vampires.

The biggest problem was getting away from the house without waking Charlie up, as my truck was easily loud enough to do that. It ended up being relatively simple: Victoria simply pushed my truck out of the driveway and then down the street until we got to the closest intersection, where I was finally able to start it up, wincing at the sound of the loud engine.

And then we were off. Off to talk to some werewolves, with a vampire companion at my side.

* * *

“We need a plan.”

I glanced over at her and then back to the highway. “What? Other than… that?”

“Yes. We need a plan of how to approach this. Likely, they will not be very agreeable to… us.” …‘Us’. That still gave me warm feelings and made me grin. “And we should be ready to retreat from the situation at any time.” Victoria’s expression flickered, and I got the sense that she was thinking about the incident with James and how he hadn’t take her advice.

“Yeah. I don’t think this is a ‘welcome to the area’ sort of thing. I don’t think they’re trying to trap us, though, since I’ll be there with you. …I hope”

She pursed her lips. “True. But I don’t trust them not to try something.”

I laughed. “Well, yeah. I don’t trust Sam as far as I could throw him. Not after last Sunday. It was like he was seriously considering attacking you even with me right there.”

Her frown deepened. “Completely unacceptable,” she muttered, the disapproval almost dripping from the words.

Suddenly, she pointed at the other side of the road. “Stop here.”

Slowing down, I turned around on the deserted road and drove off the shoulder to as close to the forest as I could get, hoping that nobody would notice the deserted truck and investigate before we got back.

Victoria was out of the cab and had opened my door before I could even shut off the engine. As soon as I had unbuckled my seatbelt, she pulled me out and closed the door in a split-second, adjusting the way she held me before taking off at a blinding speed.

I flushed at how she was carrying me against her chest. I knew that it was either this or on her back, and this was definitely preferable. Unlike when Edward carried me, if I closed my eyes now, I could ignore the movements Victoria made, not becoming nauseous at the streaking surroundings and constantly expecting us to crash into something.

It only lasted a few seconds anyways, and then we were at a clearing that was at least five hundred feet across. We stopped close to the middle of the area, Victoria immediately twisting me so my feet were on the ground and then letting go. Like the klutz I am, I stumbled as soon as I was set down, fumbling for balance until she grabbed my shoulder and I was able to stand up straight.

We stood there for a few moments, still, until Victoria inhaled, her eyes darting around before they suddenly snapped to the opposite side of the circle. “They’re here.”

And as if she had summoned them, a group of figures stepped out of the trees, slowly resolving themselves as they emerged from the foggy nighttime mist that hung to the ground.

A shirtless Sam pushed a wheelchair where a man that I was all-too familiar with was seated, while two other half-naked boys strafed him, and another pair of men trailing behind what I could only think of as an advance guard.

They halted thirty feet away, and I could see their eyes moving between me and the redhead on my left.

“I’m disappointed in you, Bella.” Billy Black was the first to speak, his voice reaching across the gap towards us. “I expected you to learn from you mistakes, not… repeat them. What would Charlie say?”

My eyes narrowed as my temper immediately flared up like a gas burner from a pilot light. That was a low blow, and he knew it. “You have no right to judge me. And don’t you dare bring my father into this. He has nothing to do with any of it.”

The man on the far right stepped forward, stopping any reply that Billy might have had for me. “Why are you here?” he asked, looking pointedly at Victoria. “Your kind is not welcome in these parts.”

“I _was_ just passing through. Well, until I found her, that is,” Victoria responded with the same sharp tone, looking over at me and then back to the man. “And then I got a little… sidetracked.”

“And what does Isabella have to do with this?”

“She saved my life,” I answered, cutting Victoria off before she could say anything and possibly incriminate herself. “I was going to _die_ , and she saved me.”

A frown appeared on the man’s face, but he nodded in acceptance and stepped back, apparently satisfied in at least some capacity by our answers. Whether or not that affected what they were thinking remained to be seen.

“That changes nothing,” Billy stated. “She must still be dealt with, as all red-eyes have been.”

Victoria growled lowly, and the boy on Sam’s right stepped forward, shaking, answering with a guttural sound from deep in his chest. But Sam stuck out a hand and held him back, keeping him from advancing any further. “No, Paul.”

“I told Sam, and I’ll tell you. I’m not going to let you do anything to her,” I countered angrily, not breaking eye contact with Billy.

He looked at me sadly, as if I’d become a person he didn’t recognize. Hell, maybe I had. But I was a hell of a lot better now than I was a month ago, at least. “You would go so far for something like _her_?”

“Yes,” I answered without hesitation.

Victoria had brought me back from the edge of depression and insanity. Dragged me out of the pit of despair I had locked myself into, a vicious whirlpool that fed off of itself, pulling me down and eating at me like Charybdis itself. A place that I eventually would have tried to escape from in the only way I could see that would end the pain. A way that would have left the world with one less Bella Swan.

I owed her my life; it had been in her hands ever since that moment in the forest. And now, she had promised to always protect me as well, even from myself.

Paul stuck a finger out accusingly at Victoria, pulling me from my thoughts. “You can’t always protect your leech, so what’ll you do then, huh? Did’ya think about that?”

The redhead at my left snarled, her body slowly dropping into a predatory stance, and I narrowed my eyes.

…So that’s how they were playing it? Even if they hadn’t intended it to go so far, this meeting was looking more and more like a farce, and I knew from the look in Victoria’s eyes that she had come to the same conclusion. This wasn’t a discussion where we could argue with them. It was a show of power. They had expectations, and if we didn’t meet them, there wasn’t anything stopping them from dealing with us any time they wanted.

“Paul…” Sam warned.

“No! She’s right there, what, are you just going to let that fucking bloodsucker bitch go?”

“Cool it, man,” the boy on Sam’s left said. “We’re not here for a fight.”

Paul didn’t say anything, but neither did he step back nor did the shaking his body was doing calm any.

“Would you be willing to cease hunting humans?” the man on Paul’s right asked calmly.

“No. I don’t answer to you or yours, _boy_ ,” Victoria replied. “And I will not deny what I am simply for your peace of mind.”

“I see,” he responded, looking between me and her, clearly asking about her intentions towards me without words.

Victoria’s mouth shifted into a self-satisfied smirk. “Oh, don’t worry about Bella. She’s in no danger from me. I have something… special planned for her.”

I wanted to groan. _Fuck, Vicky, you just **had** to go and say it, didn’t you?_

Billy’s eyes widened before narrowing sharply. “No…” he whispered, his voice comically filled with horror, before looking at me for explanation.

I don’t know what he expected. It wasn’t like I was going to say “Oh, she’s just joking. Of course she’s not going to eventually turn me into an immortal creature that murders people and drinks their blood to get by.” I had understood the implications of her statement yesterday. **All** of them.

… Not to mention she had blatantly told me to my face she had been, _was_ , planning to turn me only a week or so ago.

Hah. Yeah, no. I had made my bed by literally _forcing_ my way into their world. Now I had to sleep in it.

I stole a glance at Victoria. But it wasn’t all bad, I could have a worse companion in all of this. Like one who abandoned me. One who didn’t care about me to stay with me, even after saving my life. Unlike _her_ , who wasn’t pushing me away at all. Wasn’t treating me like glass, but instead was treating me like someone who could make her own decisions and accept the consequences of them, instead of having them made for me, and only coming to my aid when there was no other option.

It was a rather novel experience, truth be told. …And that sadly said a lot about my life so far.

Victoria’s eyes flicked over to me as if she could tell what I was thinking, even as she maintained her smirk, and I felt myself flush slightly. I tried to disguise it by turning back and looking at Billy, pushing aside my feelings to focus on the situation.

“It’s not like I have a choice. Either she turns me, or she kills me,” I stated flatly. “There’s no other option.”

Paul growled, his teeth grinding together. “Better to be dead than be a fucking _leech_ ,” he spat. “Maybe we should just kill them both now and save us all the trouble.”

“We don’t kill humans, Paul. Calm down. Now.” Sam ordered.

“No! I’m not letting a bloodsucker like _her_ get away with this shit.”

“Stand. Down.” the older boy repeated.

Paul growled, gnashing his teeth. His head shook as he reached up and held it, the vibrations getting worse, and then without any warning he exploded, an absolutely massive wolf in his place.

A wolf that was leaping straight at Victoria.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, the feels. I think it came out well. Was it worth the wait?
> 
> Victoria’s much more introspective and philosophical than I expected. So much depth. I wish there were more serious fics from her perspective, because she has just as much background information as _any_ of the Cullens. Seriously. Like five pages or something (it’s in that illustrated guide thing). It’s just sitting there, waiting to be explored.
> 
> But jeez. That conversation with Sam? Holy _shit_. I’m seriously impressed. I did not expect her to be that openly antagonistic. Go badass Bella.
> 
> And Bella’s got a crush~ …even though they’re a bit codependent right now. It’s all very complex.
> 
> The chapters are getting better, aren’t they? I really think so. It feels like I’ve finally started hitting my stride. I’m loving it. I’m already… a thousand words into the next chapter.
> 
> Things are ramping up!!


	6. Something Has To Give

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An escape and a decision

_“We finally got a confession,” Charlie said._

_He was talking about a case of recurring vandalism he’d come home incensed over one day, and then had continued telling me about as it kept going. I think he was trying to use it as an object lesson or something, but didn’t really know._

_“What did it?”_

“ _We backed him into a corner, the evidence and facts making it so he had no other option but to give in. It’s a dangerous tactic, pushing someone like that. It’s risky. There’s a chance they’ll give up, but they could also fight back in anger and fear because they’ve got nothing left to lose._

_“It’s equal parts personality profiling and luck. This time, we got lucky.”_

* * *

My heart stopped, blood freezing in my veins.

I swear I felt it skip a beat, watching the wolf in midair, heading for Victoria.

Adrenaline flooded my body, making everything seem to slow down, drawing out the moments longer than they should be. It felt like the scene had been frozen in time.

The wolf was only a few feet away from her, its mouth open wide in a snarl and spittle flying as it moved forward, ready to tear her apart with no hesitation. Moonlight gleamed on the white fangs in its mouth, and I got the sense that they wouldn’t have any problem biting into and through Victoria.

_Why isn’t she moving? Why is she just standing there!?_

I was going to lose her.

I didn’t want this. I didn’t want it at all. I didn’t want to be alone again. I didn’t want anybody else to leave me. I didn’t want _her_ to leave me. I _needed_ her.

I was afraid in a way I’d never been before.

Before, he had abandoned me. He had _left_. But here, now, she wasn’t leaving. She was going to be taken from me. Taken just after she had promised to never abandon me like he had.

But there was nothing I could do, I was too far away and only human. There was nothing I could do except watch, as Paul kept moving forward, now only a foot away from Victoria, his teeth aimed directly for her throat.

I felt pressured from all sides, squeezed together, trapped by what was happening and my inability to do anything.

No. _No. Nononononono **No**_

This couldn’t happen. It **couldn’t** happen.

The pressure that I felt got tighter, like a vice was closed around my head.

I rejected it. This situation was an impossibility. It literally couldn’t be happening. Because if it was, **_I would have nothing left_.**

The pressure reached a peak, and with a harsh _snap_ , I felt something inside of me just… break.

The world _shifted._

A wall of gold exploded outwards from where I stood and crossed the distance between Victoria and I in milliseconds. It passed through her like she wasn’t even there, and then halted halfway between her and the giant wolf just as abruptly as it had expanded.

With a _bang_ and the sound of multiple bones snapping, Paul impacted the wall and bounced back as if it were a solid barrier of inches-thick steel, falling to the ground in a boneless heap.

Nobody moved, except for Victoria whipping her head around to look at me, red eyes wide. She was at my side so quickly I didn’t even see her move. I could see the wolf that had hit the wall shake its head and whimper as it tried to get up, and then collapse.

_Serves the asshole right,_ I thought vindictively.

But that was all I caught before Victoria picked me up, cradling me in her arms, and then ran in the direction of my truck, the wall of gold snapping back to me like a rubber band.

We reached it in only a second. She opened the passenger-side door and lifted me in, closing it and entering the other side in a blink.

The truck wheezed as she twisted the key, coughing and sputtering as it attempted to start, and then roaring when it finally did. Throwing the vehicle in forward, she gunned the engine, as much as it could, driving the truck off the side of the road and then onto the highway, heading north towards Forks.

My head felt like a spike had been driven through it, and I cradled it, trying to stop the migraine that pounded like a drum.

“…Bella?” Victoria had turned to look me again, and she looked… concerned. Her eyes suddenly dilated, the red ring of her iris shrinking.

I felt something warm drip down my upper lip. Confused, I raised my finger to the area and felt something wet touch my finger. Drawing it back, I saw it was coated in liquid red. _Shit._

I looked back up at her hurriedly, but instead of the tense, strained predator I expected, she was managing to sit there calmly, even if her hands were _slightly_ tighter on the wheel than they had been previously.

“I have to admit, your blood does smell… _especially_ good compared to most.” She locked eyes with me and smirked. “I won’t lie and say I’m not looking forward to when I finally get to try it.”

My headache lessened marginally as I felt a heat rush through me, a blush rising.

I stared at the drop of red on my finger, only a few shades brighter than her eyes, debating what to do with it and not wanting to stain anything. So without hesitating, I stuck the finger in my mouth and cleaned the blood off.

I didn’t really see what the big deal was. It had a metallic taste from all the iron in the hemoglobin, but other than that it was nothing special. It was just… blood.

“I don’t understand why–” I looked over her and my voice immediately trailed off at what I saw.

Her face had shifted, and she was biting her lip with her eyes dilated even further, the black of her pupil nearly overtaking the red iris as she stared back at me with a different emotion than the one that had been gracing her features only seconds ago. I couldn’t decipher it and she quickly turned to face the road, preventing me from puzzling over it any further.

“A-anyways,” she started. “What was that thing?”

My thoughts were drawn to the barrier of gold that had appeared so suddenly. And then immediately to _why_ it had happened, my emotions being sucked right back to what they had been like in that moment. I felt the helplessness and fear like I was still there, and I couldn’t stop the words that came out of my mouth.

“You, _you… Why the hell were you just standing there!? You didn’t even **try** to move!_ ”

Victoria looked at me oddly. “I wasn’t in any danger. I could have easily dealt with him. He was significantly smaller than the other one,” she rationalized, sounding defensive.

I felt my teeth grinding as my jaw clenched. “Did you even _think_ about what it might have looked like to me? I thought you were going to _die_!” Something wet and hot dripped down my cheeks.

“I…,” she started, but then turned towards me and immediately shut her mouth upon seeing my face, looking at the road and appearing chagrined. “I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I didn’t think about that.”

_Stupid, idiotic, thoughtless vampires!_

I wanted to yell at her, to call her names, to cry and have her hold me like she had the day before, but I knew it wasn’t the time or place.

“Don’t… Don’t _do_ that! I don’t…” I felt the tears drip down onto my jeans. “I don’t want anything to happen to you. Please. I couldn’t… I couldn’t…” I couldn’t even say the words, only drawing my feet up onto the seat and hugging my knees to myself.

“I’m sorry,” Victoria repeated, and I could hear the sincerity in it.

I nodded emphatically, wiping my face with the heel of my palms. A soft sigh reached my ears. “I didn’t mean to scare you. You’ll understand it better when you’re one of us, but it’s easy to become overconfident. I told you that in the hospital, and I suppose… I suppose I shouldn’t have risen to the challenge.”

A silence descended on us, until it was broken a minute later by Victoria. “We do need to talk about what happened, though. You… It would appear you’re a much more special human than I expected.”

I blinked “…What?”

“I’ve heard stories of vampires who had abilities even in their human lives. Abilities that, after they were turned, became exponentially stronger in some way.”

“Like Alice,” I mused.

Victoria adopted a look of curiosity. “Mary Alice Brandon?”

“Well… yeah, I guess. But she’s Alice Cullen now.” I pushed down the sadness and melancholy that I felt from her having left. I didn’t blame her, that was reserved for _him_ , but it was still something that hurt. “Apparently she had these visions when she was human and they…” I trailed off

“–put her in that asylum.” Victoria finished, nodding. “That would make sense. I didn’t know she had an ability, but if that’s true, she must be an exceptionally strong precognitive.”

I nodded. “Yeah. She always seemed to know what was going to happen and how things were going to go based on peoples’ decisions. …And Edward could read minds. Like, _literally_ listen in to everyone’s thoughts and see what they were thinking. But he couldn’t read my mind.”

Victoria’s eyes widened, and held an expression of understanding and shock. “You’re a bloody shield,” she said, an English accent I’d never heard before slipping into her voice.

“A shield?” I echoed, not understanding what she meant. I’d always thought that Edward not being able to read my mind meant something was wrong with me.

“A shield is… what is used to describe abilities that repel, reflect, or block something. And you’re… you’re a mental _and_ physical one. Good _God_ , Bella, if what you did in the clearing was any indication, you’re going to be one of the strongest fucking shields I know of when you’re one of us,” she voiced in awe.

“R-really?” I didn’t exactly know what that meant, but it was clearly a good thing.

Victoria nodded. But then she frowned. “This… is a double edged sword. If the Volturi ever hear of you…” She took a breath, closing her eyes, squeezing them shut before opening them slowly. “If the Volturi ever hear of you, the chance of being hunted down and forcibly inducted are extremely high. No, not high. They **will** hear of you if we ever run into any other vampires and have to show it. It is only a matter of when.” Her frown deepened.

“B-but that’s a ways off, right? I mean, they can’t hear of me immediately,” I reasoned.

Her frown softened. “True.” Victoria sighed. “Speaking of evasion, based on what happened tonight, the chances of continuing to avoid those wolves is also not looking good.”

Yeah. That… I was not happy about how that had gone. The way Billy had started it… I did _not_ want Charlie brought in to any of this.

I chewed on my lip, thinking, before finally coming to a conclusion.

“Tomorrow.”

“What?”

“Tomorrow,” I repeated, resolution and steel in my voice, even sounding slightly foreign to me. “We’re leaving tomorrow.”

She looked over at me, a number of emotions in her eyes. Excitement, anticipation, and even pride.

Victoria’s mouth slowly widened into a wide grin. “Tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol. Vampire turn-ons. The car scene was especially fun to write.
> 
> Short chapter, but it was where it needed to end. The next one… It has a different focus and point to it. But man, oh man. I’m really, really excited about it. It’s gonna be _good_. Someone shows up again~
> 
> Review! Tell me what you think!


	7. She's Leaving Home / Ghosts of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dream, a discovery, a reaction, an escape, and an unexpected face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Heads up:** I just wanted to remind people that Victoria is physically 18. Yes, _eighteen_. This is canonical. She’s only months older than Bella that way. It’s extremely weird to think about (and hard to imagine), considering that she was played by actresses in their mid-thirties, not their late teens/early twenties, but true nonetheless. My personal headcanon is something of a mix between Taylor Roberts, Grace Holley, and Emma Stone.
> 
> I know a bunch of stories that I can think of off the top of my head that seem to have older/thirties!Victoria (Luminescence, A Witch and Her Vampire, Inside the Fire, Crimson Bonds, All Red, etc.), but I wanted to try out young/teenage!Victoria. …I _have_ made an in-story reference to her physical age and appearance in Chapter 2. I just wasn’t sure everybody caught that, so I figured it was worth repeating.

_“Oh, come on Bella, it’ll be fun!”_

_I looked at Alice flatly. “That’s what you said last time. And then we were out for_ eight freaking hours _! I had to remind you I needed food!“_

_The short vampire pouted while Emmett laughed from the other room. “Alice has her own little world she goes to when she’s out shopping,” he shouted._

_And then she started with the eyes. I tried to look away, but there was no avoiding them._

_I sighed in resignation. “Fine. Fine.” Alice beamed. “But I’m not buying anything.”_

_“Oh, that’s fine. I’ll get it for you.”_

_I only managed to sputter incoherently as she dragged me bodily to her car._

* * *

That night, I dreamed.

I was sure it was a dream, simply because all the colors were washed out, even the grass at my feet in monochromatic shades of gray. Everything was obscured by a smoky haze except for a small patch where I stood at the center.

“Bella.”

I turned to the right, looking for the source of the voice.

My breath caught in my chest when I saw Alice standing there, silently, as if she’d never left. Golden-amber eyes stared at my face, and I found myself unable to look away.

“Alice?”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t want… I’m sorry.”

“What?”

She took a step backwards into the haziness.

“Alice! Wait!” She paused. “Where are you going?”

The short girl shook her head. “It’s not my choice, Bella. They wouldn’t listen to me. I… I _tried_ to tell them.”

“B-but…”

“It’s been taken out of my hands. I’m… I’m sorry,” she said, sounding like she was about to break out into tears. “I’m so sorry.”

A figure stepped out of the mist, and even though I couldn’t recognize the distinct features, I knew it was him. Alice moved towards him, and I felt panic rising in my chest

“Wait! Please! Don’t, don’t leave me here!”

But his eyes were like cold glass and he turned away from me, walking away and dissolving like he’d never been there. Alice slowly followed him, but when she reached the edge, she turned to look at me one last time, her eyes full of sadness and regret, before she was swept away into the fog, disappearing like she had never been there.

I collapsed, sobbing. They had left. She’d left me behind, and I was alone again.

And then… suddenly, I wasn’t.

I felt a cold hand touch my shoulder, and I looked up, twisting my head to look at the person who was kneeling next to me. Red hair framing a delicate face with red eyes that watched me with sympathy and pain that was all-too-similar. She drew me into her arms, just like she had before, holding me as I cried, sobbing, my face pressed into her cold shoulder and neck.

I heard footsteps to our right, and looked up. Jake stood there, looking down at us, his face twisting in fury and hatred as soon as he saw Victoria.

“Get away from her, Bella,” he spoke lowly, holding out a hand to me. “Come on, let’s go.”

B-but… I looked between him and her. It was _Victoria_. I didn’t want to leave her. Why was he asking me to do that? Why would he ever want that from me?

I shook my head slowly, turning to glance back at Victoria again. She was watching me calmly, her lips turned upwards slightly at the corners in a comfortable smile that said everything I needed to know. It made me feel warm inside, and I smiled back, knowing I was where I was supposed to be. I returned my focus to Jake, but he’d disappeared, and in his place was a russet wolf as large as Paul had been.

The wolf growled at us, and Victoria pulled me closer, protectively, and answered with a snarl of her own. The wolf’s eyes shifted to me, pleading, but I couldn’t return its gaze, and gripped Victoria like a lifeline. I’d made my choice, the choice I knew was the right one, and I wasn’t giving that up. I wouldn’t give _her_ up.

I blinked, and the wolf was gone.

Victoria released me from her hold, smiling slightly. A hand reached out, lifting to my face and then cupping my cheek in her palm. Her thumb ran below my eyes, wiping away the remnants of my tears.

An expression of happiness and content I’d never seen from her came over features, her eyes softening as she kept looking at me.

And then slowly, laboriously, she leaned forward and kissed me.

* * *

I woke with a gasp.

My chest heaved, and I struggled to draw a complete breath.

My body felt like it was on fire. I was hyper-aware of my sheets on top of me, the way they dragged against my skin. It felt like I could feel every thread, every fiber.

My heart was pounding, and refused to slow down.

Flashes of the end of my dream came to me: Pale, cold skin. Feelings of warmth and happiness and safety. Victoria, looking at me contentedly, happily before kissing me.

A warm knot of tension settled in my lower body, and I didn’t want to let it go, wanted it to keep growing, to finish. I was blind to my surroundings, unaware of anything other than myself and my rising euphoria.

And then I had the sudden, mortifying thought that Victoria was there, that she had been watching me, and I halted my activities like a bucket of ice-water had been poured over me. Looking around the room, I let out a sigh of relief when I saw no sign of her. The comforting fuzziness that had enveloped my mind was gone, washed away by the adrenaline rush, and I resigned myself to the fact that there was no way I was finishing or falling back asleep.

… I really needed a shower.

My pajamas were , and the sheets clung to my skin when I dragged myself out of bed and managed to make my way to the bathroom. I shucked my clothes, throwing my ruined underwear into the hamper along with my practically-drenched nightshirt and then turning the shower on.

Standing under the stream helped, but I couldn’t get the image of Victoria, or the feelings of her lips, her hand, her skin against mine, out of my head. I could almost feel it all, even though I knew it had only been in my mind.

I felt lost. I… I didn’t think about girls that way. At least, I thought I didn’t. Not that there was anything wrong with it. I just knew I liked guys. I’d even had a particularly strong crush on Michael Schiller in eighth grade. But I hadn’t ever fantasized about girls before now. And I’d _especially_ never masturbated to them before.

I’d never even really _thought_ about them like that.

 _Except for Rosalie,_ my traitorous mind whispered.

Okay. But Rosalie was objectively attractive. You’d have to be blind not to think that.

_And what about Angela and Jessica? Or Lauren?_

So maybe I hadn’t really been able to stop thinking about them in their dresses following that trip to Port Angeles. And so what if I always noticed when Lauren changed her lip gloss, even though I didn’t really like her? It didn’t… It didn’t mean I wanted to kiss them, right?

But thinking about it was kind of hot.

My fingers started drifting lower again.

… No! Not the time, dammit!

I turned the water colder and took a deep breath.

_…It’s okay. Everything’s alright. There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to other girls. It just means that the other 50% of the population is now possible dating material._

It’s… It’s not like I was suddenly different or anything. So I,I knew I was bisexual now, so what?

 _Liar,_ the voice whispered. _It changes everything, and you know it._

I gritted my teeth, squeezing my eyes shut as I held my head and then shook it, water flying everywhere from my wet hair.

**_FUCK!_ **

What was I going to do? What _could_ I do? Should I tell her? How’re you supposed to tell the vampire girl you’re running away with that you fantasized about her?

…Except it was significantly more than that, and I knew it. It wasn’t _just_ that. I… definitely had feelings for her beyond lusting after her. I …was falling for her. _Had_ been falling for her for who knows how long. Since that first night in the hospital when I’d realized she was just as human, as _broken_ as I was?

_You know she’ll never feel the same way. Vampires mate for life, and she’s already had hers. You’ll always just be the human girl that she decided to take pity on._

I tasted rust in my mouth and realized I’d bitten my lip so hard I was bleeding without even noticing.

I could already imagine the look of disgust on her face if she found out. And then she’d leave me too. I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t lose her. Not Victoria. Not her.

_It won’t be too hard, after all, you’ll only have to keep from her for all eternity. Remember what she said about how vampires are frozen emotionally? Three guesses what that means for a crush when she turns you. And the first two don’t count._

I laughed. It wasn’t a happy sound.

Of course. Of _course_ I’d end up falling for the one person it was a physical _impossibility_ to return any feelings for and then have to deal with it for the rest of my existence. It just made sense. Fate just seemed to be hell-bent on making my life as much a living hell as it possibly could.

…I, I had to stop thinking about this.

Focus on something else. Okay. Okay. _I can do this._ Today I was leaving Forks. For good. As in, never coming back.

Victoria ( _stupid, beautiful, perfect Victoria_ ) had said she had a plan, but I still couldn’t help but feel a _little_ bad about what this was going to do to Charlie. And Reneé. And Angela.

Okay, fine, I hated it. I hated what this was going to do to them. Reneé would be inconsolable, at least until something came along and took her up her attention again. Angela… Angela would be fine. She’d move on, go about her life. I’d just be that one friend in high school who ran away, never to be seen again.

It was Charlie I really worried about. But he had his friends, and he’d survive. That was what was important.

The problem was that at this point it wasn’t a matter of _if_ I would have to leave, but _when_. It was going to hurt them no matter what, but with the Quileute being so antagonistic against Victoria, it suddenly became weeks at the most before we lost control on the situation. I didn’t trust Billy not to try and pull something with Charlie. So it was either now, or sometime up until two weeks from now. And really, leaving sooner rather than later would give them less time to plan something against us. Even I could see that logic.

Which is why I’d packed a backpack of clothing last night, which sat in the corner of my room. It would be all I needed according to Victoria, that and my IDs and passport.

Shutting off the cold water, I stepped out of the shower, shivering as soon as the air hit me. Once I’d dried myself off, I headed back to my room, putting on the clothes I’d set aside for today. It was really early, only 5:30 in the morning. With nothing better to do, I slumped down into the chair at my desk and just sat there, looking around the room at the things that wouldn’t be coming with us. My books. The old, dinosaur of a computer behind me. Clothes in the closet that didn’t even fit me anymore, leftover from my childhood. And that… was really it.

I hadn’t moved to Forks with much more than a suitcase of clothes, so it made sense that there wasn’t much to take with me.

Sighing, I turned around to face the desk and pulled out a sheet of paper and a pen, intending to do the thing I’d been putting off so far. And so, I wrote a note to Charlie. It was very stereotypical for what I’d think a runaway letter would look like. All “It’s not your fault.” and “I need to get out.” and “I can’t live here anymore because it reminds me of the Event.” and “I love you.” I was just writing my name at the bottom when I heard the window open and looked over to see Victoria climbing through it.

Immediately, all the thoughts I’d managed to suppress so far surged to the forefront of my mind ( _cold hands dancing across my skin, lips and teeth marking me_ ), and I blushed so heavily I probably looked like a tomato.

_How are you going to do this if you can’t even control yourself around her?_

Trying to ignore the images my subconscious was conjuring, I focused on what was more important right now, “It’s time to go, isn’t it?”

Victoria nodded silently, striding over to my backpack and slinging it onto her back.

I stood up, walking over to my bed and placing the note at the foot of it. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, before opening them and then looking around my room one last time. “Alright, let’s do this.”

Blurring over to my side, Victoria picked me up ( _don’t think about it_ ) and rushed out the window, managing to twist, grip the windowsill, and close the window in one motion. We dropped to the ground silently, and I wouldn’t have even noticed it if my eyes weren’t open. As soon as she had gotten traction, we turned around and she sprinted towards the woods behind my– Charlie’s house.

It was only a short trip, ten or fifteen seconds at most, and then we came out of the woods into the rear parking lot of a strip mall. Victoria slowed down, still carrying me as she walked towards the only obvious feature in the area: a black motorcycle.

“How, where’d you…?”

She placed me on my feet, holding my shoulder until I had regained my balance. I focused on the bike as much as I could instead of staring at her while she walked towards it. All I could think was that it matched her image perfectly, the fitted red leather jacket ( _the color of her eyes_ ) she was wearing today a perfect contrast when viewed next to the glossy lacquer. I noted the collar was unusually high, stopping half-way up her neck, and that she’d slipped a pair of gloves onto her hands when I wasn’t looking.

Victoria grabbed two helmets that I hadn’t noticed off of the handlebars, and then turned towards me with a half-quirked smile. “Did you think we would be running the whole way?” I flushed, because I hadn’t even really thought about it. “It’ll be easiest to avoid the wolves on the road. We shouldn’t take any unnecessary risks.”

Victoria walked back over to me, taking the backpack off and handing it over along with one of the helmets. I took both, putting the backpack on first and then looking warily at the helmet before twisting my hair up and shoving it on my head.

In the time it’d taken me to do that, Victoria had donned her own helmet, already climbed on the bike, and started it. I walked over, and then paused as I realized exactly what this was going to require.

Me. Behind Victoria. _Holding onto her._

…Fuck my life. Everything would be so much easier if I hadn’t figured out I was interested in her _today_ of all days.

_That’s not how it works, cupcake._

Great. And now the voice at the back of my head was calling me pet names.

Swallowing, I swung my leg over the rear end and hesitantly wrapped my arms around her middle. It helped that she was taller than me and all I was touching was her midsection. I didn’t even begin to want to think about how this would be working if she was shorter.

_Yes you do._

_Shut **up**._

As soon as I was secure, she pushed the engine and we peeled out of the parking lot. I was glad I’d decided to wear a heavier jacket, as the cool Forks weather combined with Victoria’s lack of body heat made it a brisk experience.

I will say it was soothing. We weren’t able to talk, but I was able to rest my head against her back. The monotony of the road combined with the purr of the engine under us and the safety I felt when with Victoria knowing she’d never let anything happen to me was more relaxing than anything else I’d ever done.

It didn’t take long to get to Port Angeles and through it, following the 101 from Forks and then switching onto Highway 20 to bypass Seattle and go straight to Burlington. We stopped for gas in Oak Harbor, and I can say that one thing I’d never expected to see was Victoria using a gas pump. Doing normal human things seemed too… normal for her. I took the chance to use the restroom and then get a breakfast bagel from the little builtin café, which Victoria rolled her eyes at, instead disappearing around the side of the station while I ate. I found her leaning up against the east wall next to the motorcycle, as still as a statue, but she immediately pushed away from it and handed me the helmet I supposed was mine.

And then we were off again.

We were only about twenty miles out of Bellingham when Victoria suddenly whipped her head around, a low growl rumbling from her chest. It was only for a few seconds, but I turned and followed her line of sight, finding a darkly-tinted Mercedes two lanes over from us. Victoria took off like a shot, accelerating from sixty miles an hour to what I had to guess was at least a hundred in seconds, weaving between cars and trucks with a precision that only a vampire could exhibit, and I clung tightly to her in order to stay on.

For a few minutes nothing happened, and it seemed like we’d gotten away from the car for whatever reason Victoria had wanted to. And then against all odds, it pulled up next to us again. This time when Victoria snarled, the vibrations actually traveled through my bones and helmet and I heard it like I was right next to my ear.

I had no idea why, but I could tell she was _pissed_.

Victoria… wasn’t normally prone to strong reactions. She was subdued. Calm. Collected. The only other time I’d seen her reacting so strongly had been in the forest, when she’d been falling to pieces in front of me. But this… this was a completely different reaction. This wasn’t melancholic, fatalistic rage. This was frustrated anger. Resigned, but hating the resignation.

Twisting the handlebars sharply, she cut across the other lanes and angled towards the shoulder of the interstate and the forest at the edge of it, slowing down to a fraction of what we’d been going. Once we went off the shoulder and onto the grass, she hit the brakes and we skidded sideways until we were at a halt, her left leg supporting the entire weight of the bike.

In a single unified motion, she dismounted and propped bike up, standing in front of it casually, facing the car that had followed us off the road. I could tell that it was all an act and she was ready to either attack or flee at any moment.

Carefully, I followed her lead (albeit much less gracefully), clambering off the motorcycle so that I was standing next to her. The car slowed to a halt thirty feet away.

Victoria twisted her head towards me and pressed her helmet against mine. “I don’t know what the bloody hell she wants. You’re _mine_.” A warmth exploded in my chest, my heart beating faster as I felt myself blush. ( _Not the time!_ ) “They forfeited you, and I’m not giving you up.” She turned back to face the car.

_Forfeited me?_

The door of the Mercedes opened, and the figure that stepped out made suck in a deep breath.

I’d know that face anywhere. Short-cropped hair and amber irises. A fine bone structure and shorter than even me.

_Alice!_

My heart almost leaped out of my chest. It was all I could do to stop myself from jumping away from Victoria’s side, running over to her and hugging her.

_Are you sure you aren’t crushing on her too? ’Cause it sure looks like it from here._

But why was she here? It didn’t make any sense. Alice… Alice had left. Left with them, the others. Why was she here _now_? And if she was here, where were the others? Were they nearby?

I half-waited for someone else to step out of the car, but nobody emerged. And there was nobody else around us, just the passing cars on the freeway.

It was just Alice. What was going on?

Victoria reached up and grabbed her helmet, yanking it off and glaring across the gap at the shorter vampire. “What do you want?” she growled.

“Why!?” Alice yelled, advancing, and the redhead at my side growled.

“Why what? You’ll have to clarify, as I have no idea what you’re on about.”

“She had nothing to do with any of this! Why did you do it? Why did you kill her? _WHY!?_ ” She was practically running now, right at the edge of human, and I could tell she was actively restraining herself from going any faster.

A breeze blew from behind us and Alice skidded to a halt twenty feet away, looking shocked. She blinked and then looked from Victoria to me, as if only just realizing I was even there. “…Bella?”

I glanced over at Victoria, but she gave me no hint as to what she wanted to do. I figured I was on my own, and she would only intervene if I did something really stupid.

Carefully, I reached up and removed my own helmet. “Um. Hi, Alice. Fancy meeting you here?” I chuckled weakly.

Alice looked utterly perplexed, an emotion that was extremely out of place on her face. “Wha… But I… You…” she sputtered. “How are you not…?”

Victoria rolled her eyes. “Will you spit it out already?”

“I… I saw you _die_ , Bella!”

I blinked. “What?”

“You… There was this forest at night. And a clearing. She was there.” Alice paused, pointing at Victoria for a second, and then she went back to what I could only describe as worrying a path into the ground.

“And then you just… disappeared. I couldn’t see you anymore, even when I tried to.” She jerked her head around to look at me. “The only time that’s happened before is when someone’s died!”

Alice’s eyes flicked over to Victoria. “I saw her there, before everything went black. She… she grabbed your shoulder and it looked like she was pulling you towards her! Like she was going to bite you! And then… and then when I looked for _her_ all I saw was two people on a motorcycle…” She sounded so distraught, like she had in my dream that morning.

“I thought she killed you! I thought… I thought I was too late! And I panicked.” She hugged herself. “I didn’t even tell the rest of the family. Everybody’s all over the place, and there wasn’t enough time!”

“A bit pathetic, isn’t she?” Victoria whispered at me. I shot her a sour look, and she frowned and turned away, facing Alice. “You left her behind. Why do you care what happens to her?”

Alice looked affronted. “Of course I care! Just because we left doesn’t mean I suddenly stopped caring about her!” My heart soared.

_God, if she’s pathetic than you’re ten times worse. Listen to yourself. One sentence and you’re ready to throw yourself at her._

I pointedly ignored the voice.

Alice took another step forward, and an absolutely massive snarl broke from between Victoria’s lips.

“Do you have any idea what she was like when I found her?” the redhead at my side hissed. “There was nothing there. _Nothing!_ She was broken. By _your_ coven. She didn’t even care if she died! She told me to kill her!”

Both Alice and I winced, a wave of pain traveling across her face. “ _What?_ I didn’t… I swear to God, Bella, I didn’t know! He told me that I should just leave you alone and not try to look at your future because it would just make things harder! What did… what did he _say_ to you to make you like that?”

I looked between Victoria and her, and felt myself inching closer to the redhead and almost huddling against her naturally. “He… he took me to the forest behind my house. And… then he said you all were leaving. And that I didn’t belong with you. That I’d only been a distraction for a little while. Nothing important. That he was tired of pretending to be something he wasn’t. …That you didn’t want me anymore. That it would be like you never existed. And then he just… disappeared.”

Alice just stared at me, for a full five seconds.

“That… that… _How could he?_ ” She started pacing, the muscles around her jaw popping out from how hard she was clenching it. “He said he was going to explain it! I always thought it was stupid in the first place, but he just _left_ you there? Even if he can’t read your mind he should have known better than that!”

I looked away from her. “I… I was in a bad place after that. I was in bed for a week. They say I was completely unresponsive. That I had a mental break and was trying to dissociate it from everything else. And then on Thursday, I just… I had to get out. So I drove and then walked to the field. The one he used to take me to. And… and then Victoria…”

“I found her,” Victoria said, taking over. “I hunted her. I wanted revenge, a life for a life.”

“But… you clearly didn’t?” Alice pointed out, as if confused.

Victoria looked distinctly uncomfortable. “No. I decided not to.”

“Why not?” The shorter vampire was looking at the cast on my left arm and had probably figured out that it had something to do with all of this.

“It doesn’t concern you,” Victoria spoke sharply, masking her previous discomfort. “All that matters is I didn’t, and she’s with me now.”

Alice bit her lip and relented, allowing the subject to die. “So then why did I have a vision of you biting her last night?”

“We, um, we were meeting Sam Uley and the Quileute elders,” I supplied.

She looked confused. “What? Why?”

Victoria scoffed. “That pathetic group of wolf-shifters took offense at my presence in ‘their’ territory. We were meeting with them for parley.”

Alice’s eyes grew wide and an expression of understanding graced her features. “Ugh. The wolves. Of _course_ I can’t see them.” Her gaze lasered in on Victoria. “But that still doesn’t explain why it looked like you were going to bite Bella.”

The redhead rolled her eyes. “This is absurd. She _stumbled_. I was merely steadying her until she could stand properly.”

Alice looked like she’d bitten a lemon. “What?” She turned to me. “Seriously? That’s… that’s _it_? _That’s_ what happened?”

I nodded.

She sighed and rubbed her temples. “What a mess.” Alice looked back up at us. “Based on what I’ve heard from the others, I’m guessing the Quileute weren’t exactly welcoming so you’re moving on. And I know you said that Bella is with you but… why?”

Victoria’s features hardened. “You and your family broke the law. And I am _not_ going to risk the attention of the Volturi simply because I failed to kill or turn her.”

Alice threw her hands up, appearing exasperated. “I told him! I told him he should have just let it happen! But nooo. ‘It’s not your decision, Alice.’, ‘Just let her finish high school, Alice.’, ‘She should get to enjoy being human as much as she can, Alice.’ He can be so damn _frustrating._ ”

“Do _not_ speak of him,” Victoria spat. “He killed my mate, and I _will_ have retribution.”

The golden-eyed vampire in front of us frowned. “James was going to kill Bella. Of course we’d defend her. And if we didn’t kill him, he’d have never given up.”

“He would have if she’d been turned like she should have been!”

“I know, okay!” Alice ceded. “I told him that! It was the best future I could see at the time: Bella gets to be a vampire, everybody’s happy. Except for Edward apparently, because he refused to even consider it! _I_ would have done it! I bet he didn’t even tell Bella, did he?” she asked, looking at me.

I shook my head. I hadn’t known that. If I had, I’d have had one of the others bite me, probably Alice since she’d said she was offering. It hadn’t been just him or me in danger at that point, but their whole family.

Alice sighed, and turned back to Victoria. “So you’re going to turn her?”

Victoria was still scowling. “You forfeited her, and she is now under _my_ aegis. What I do with her is no concern of yours. But yes, I plan on it.”

“It wasn’t like I wanted to leave! I went because Jasper agreed with Edward, and they convinced the rest of the family.”

 _And Jasper’s her mate, so she wouldn’t be able to live apart from him for very long,_ I thought, feeling sorry for her.

“And… I was planning on checking on you in a couple months, just to make sure you were doing alright,” she admitted. “No matter what the others said. I did, _do_ care about you, Bella. You were, _are_ my best friend. Stupid brothers and husbands being idiots isn’t going to change that.”

I nodded, feeling a sense of calm come over me at her assurances.

“It… doesn’t look like you’re being kidnapped or anything. So I’m guessing you’re part of all of this?” she questioned, looking between Victoria and I.

I felt myself flush, my thoughts going right where I didn’t need them right now before I wrestled them back under control. “We… She isn’t… Victoria won’t hurt me Alice. I… I want this.” And I did. “It was my idea.”

Victoria looked like she was about to say something, but held herself back.

Alice seemed unconcerned. “Alright, then. And you _are_ a consenting adult.” She grinned. “Eighteen year-old Bella. Already running away to parts unknown. So adventurous. …But to be honest, I’m surprised you aren’t more uncomfortable with her diet.”

I shrugged.

_Too broken to care. Just another way you’re screwed up, darling. Falling for the mass-murderer._

_She’s not human!_ I defended. _And it’s not like I go out and help her kill people!_

_But you wouldn’t mind if you did, do you? You’d do it, and you’d even enjoy it, because it’s all for her and you love her._

I… Maybe. Yes? But I knew she wouldn’t ever ask me to do that, so it was a moot point.

_Awww. Look at the budding sociopath._

_I am not a sociopath! She’s a vampire! It’s completely natural for her! And soon it’ll be natural for me too!_

_Oh, I know that._ There was a low chuckle. _You are **so** easy to rile up._

Okay. Now I knew I was going crazy. The voice at the back of my head had just _laughed_.

_Duh. Of course you’re crazy. Sorry to burst your bubble, but having conversations with yourself isn’t exactly a sign of sanity, sweetheart._

Bringing myself back to reality, I noticed Alice looking at me in contemplation. “I guess I’ll be getting a vision of you as one of us pretty soon, huh? …Actually…” Her eyes glazed over for a second before a smile broke out on her face. “You’ll be one of us before the end of the year if everything goes as planned.”

Victoria’s lips ghosted into a frown before reverting almost immediately.

Alice’s smile grew. “…Scratch that. End of the month.”

I looked over at Victoria in surprise. That soon? That was only two weeks away.

Butterflies started in my stomach.

_I’m going to be a vampire. In two weeks._

_Or less._

_Right. Or less._

Wow. I mean, I’d known it, but having Alice confirm it just gave a sort of… finality to it that it hadn’t had before.

The pixie-like vampire in front of us looked thoughtful, and then pulled something out of her pocket, fiddling with it quickly. “Here.” She tossed the object towards me and Victoria’s hand shot out to catch it, holding it in front of me. I took it from her. It was a cellphone, a BlackBerry.

“It’s got global reception. And all of our numbers are in it. Don’t worry about taking it, I’ve got extras and I put my other numbers in it. Just… promise you’ll keep in touch? Text me, alright?”

I swallowed thickly, nodding.

She looked sheepish. “I should probably let you guys go so you don’t miss your flight. Um… can I get a hug?”

I took a step forward, prepared to run over to her, but then paused, looking at Victoria. She waved me forward, so I headed over to Alice who was almost bouncing on her heels. “Oooooh. This is going to be so much fun! We’ll have to go shopping after you’re done with the whole newborn thing, I haven’t been to Harrod’s in _ages_.”

She hugged me tightly, and I returned it, imagining myself absorbing the seemingly unlimited amount of energy that made her Alice to hold in reserve for when I’d need it. And then she leaned in close to my ear. “Nothing’s going to change if you don’t say anything. You might just end up being surprised.”

_Is she talking about…?_

The voice in my head cackled in amusement.

Alice pulled back, and I looked at her in shock. “Everyone deserves a chance to be happy, Bella. _Everyone,_ ” she emphasized, looking behind me.

I followed her view and saw Victoria watching us with a strange expression, her eyes narrowed and jaw clenched, but as soon as she saw me looking, she turned away. I turned back to face Alice, who was grinning like the cat that caught the canary.

She put a single finger up to her lips as if swearing me to secrecy as she walked backwards towards her car, still smiling enigmatically. She reached the Mercedes’ door and was about to climb in when she suddenly looked up. “Oh! And tell Maggie I said ‘Hi’!”

I heard Victoria growl slightly behind me as Alice closed the door and started the car, putting it in reverse and then driving back up to the shoulder and then onto interstate. I turned around and walked back to the motorcycle and Victoria.

“Is she always that annoying?” the redhead asked bitterly, putting her helmet on.

I laughed, bunching up my hair so I could do the same.

“She wouldn’t be Alice if she wasn’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deus Ex Hurricane Alice Interrupt!
> 
> What’s with the weird voice? What, you didn’t think that Bella was going to come out of what happened the day before without some serious scars? The limits on her shield weren’t the only thing that snapped…


	8. Up in the Air

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In response to some questions on FF.net:  
> Bella’s voice is a personification of her suppressed desires, self-critiques, and darker thoughts, resulting from her mind attempting to protect itself from any more extreme mental trauma. It isn’t a distinct personality, as in MPD.
> 
> A few of you got the reference: the voice does indeed take after Carmilla. Not my intention at all to have it sound like her when I started writing it, but I suddenly started hearing those lines spoken in her voice and found it so amusing I decided to just roll with it.
> 
> Don’t worry, this isn’t going to turn into a crossover or anything, I wouldn’t pull that kind of shit this late in the game. I hate stories that do that. I just needed a snarky voice and, well, it ended up like this. …It _really_ doesn’t help that Carmilla is basically snark personified.

_“What was it like for you and Jasper?”_

_Alice looked over at me. We were watching some romantic comedy that I wasn’t even really paying attention to except peripherally._

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Like, was it love at first sight?”_

_Alice laughed. “I don’t believe in love at first sight. I might’ve had the advantage of knowing that Jasper was going to be the one for me, but it wasn’t instant. Getting to know each other, falling in love, it’s all part of how it works. And then before you know it, bam!” She snapped her fingers, grinning. “You’re in love and you didn’t even notice it.”_

* * *

“Identification, please.”

A balding middle-aged man sat in the fading blue glass-and-metal booth at the border crossing post for entering Canada, holding his hand out of the small, weathered plastic window towards us.

I got my passport out of the pocket I’d put it in inside my backpack, while Victoria seemed to pull hers out of a pocket hidden in her jacket. We handed them over, and he took both, opening them.

“I’ll need you to remove your helmets as well.”

I could imagine Victoria frowning, but took mine off without any hesitation, Victoria removing hers a second later. The man flattened out the passports, looking at the unflattering photos and then us. “Isabella Swan and… Rachel Morgan?” Victoria and I nodded.

It made sense for her to use an alias. I mean, she must have had dozens over the years. And it wouldn’t be good to have anything that made it look like she was older than she should be.

“Do you have anything to declare today, including but not limited to: items you intend to sell, gifts, items bought duty-free, prescription medication, or an amount of cash in excess of ten thousand US dollars?” he drawled half-heartedly. Victoria shook her head.

“Reason for visit?”

“Just passing through,” Victoria told him.

The man nodded, flipping to a blank page in each of our passports and then pulling out a large stamp, slamming it down on each of our little booklets. Folding them up, he handed them back and we put them away. “Enjoy your trip,” he told us. Victoria nodded, putting on her helmet as I did the same. We pulled away, quickly accelerating to the speed limit.

It was only fifty minutes until we reached what I assumed was our destination, based on Alice’s comment about a flight: Vancouver International Airport. Victoria wasted no time in parking in long-term parking, pulling a folded-up bag out of a compartment under the seat that I hadn’t even been aware of, putting the helmets in it and slinging it onto her shoulder.

“Come on, then,” she said, looking over at her shoulder at me and cocking her head in the direction of the airport. I hurried to catch up to her.

“So, um… where are we going?” I asked

“Ireland.”

I faltered. “Ireland?”

“Yes.”

“Why _Ireland?_ ”

“Because I have friends there.”

I blinked.

_What, is it so hard to imagine? She’s had centuries without you. Centuries that you’ll never share._

The voice’s words bothered me, but I tried to ignore them, however true they were.

“It’ll also be easier to handle your transformation in the countryside where there won’t be other humans, so you don’t accidentally massacre too many when you’re feeding.” She looked over at me. “I’ll be honest with you. The first few years are little more than a haze of blood and lust. And as the one changing you, I’ll be responsible for making sure all your needs are met.”

I felt an involuntary shiver climb my spine while something below my stomach tightened. I knew she didn’t mean it that way, but _fuck_ if it didn’t send my thoughts exactly where I didn’t need them right now. She had no idea what she was doing to me, and that just made it ten times worse.

_This is the worst crush ever._

_Not gonna argue with you there, sweetheart. Of course, there was… oh wait, nope. You’re right._

I took a breath to calm myself and tried to suppress the blush I could feel on my face. _Not helpful! …And it isn’t exactly the time for jokes._

_Oh, then when will it be?_

_I… I don’t know, okay‽_ I frowned. _At least you seem to be enjoying yourself,_ I retorted spitefully.

_You have **no** idea._

I couldn’t tell if that was sarcastic or not.

_It wasn’t._

Well, great then. At least the voice in my head finds my situation funny. Is there a name for the ability to have a recognizable part of yourself amused at your own misfortune and failings. Would that be self-schadenfreude?

We’d managed to make it to the ticket counter while I was lost in my head, and Victoria stepped up to the counter, talking with the lady behind it, until she stepped to the side and they both turned to look at me. I nearly tripped over myself. Victoria had green eyes. Not red. _Green._ A bright verdant color like fresh leaves in the spring.

I was struck dumb, literally stunned silent. She was so beautiful. And it was then that I realized that I wasn’t just _falling_ for her, I already had.

_Duh. Took you long enough to catch on._

“Can I see some ID?” The woman’s voice jarred me out of my thoughts.

“Oh, um…” I turned my attention to the attendant and fumbled to pull my passport out of my backpack and pass it to her. “Here.”

She stuck her hand beneath the counter and it came back with a rectangular piece of paper. The piece of paper got stuck in my passport and then she handed it all back. “Here’s your boarding pass. Your flight’s at gate C8.”

Victoria nodded at the lady and we both turned around. Once we were far enough away from the counter, I looked at the redhead next to me. “Since when do you have green eyes?” I asked, trying not to pay attention to what they were doing to my insides.

She glanced at me. “Since I was born.”

I blinked. “O-oh.” That made sense, I supposed. She had to have something other than red during her human life. I simply hadn’t ever really thought about it. For me, red eyes were simply _Victoria._

Victoria smirked, as if hearing my thoughts. “What, I can’t have normal human eyes too?”

“N-no! I mean, yes, but like…” I spluttered, trying to regain some form of dignity.

She spun around while bringing a hand up to her eye and touching it with her finger. When it moved, I saw ring of red and a small concave shape on her fingertip before it was quickly replaced. “Contacts, Bella. Contacts.” She smirked at my dumbfounded expression.

I’d never even though about something like that, but by now I guess I should have expected it.

I nodded, unable to trust my voice, she turned back around, waiting a moment so that I was walking next to her again, and then fell into step beside me. “The last time I had green eyes was when I was human,” she informed me almost casually. But I could hear a slight upward lilt in her voice that wasn’t normally there.

“You seem… happy,” I noted.

“What, aren’t I allowed to be?” she asked curiously.

“O-of course! It’s just… you aren’t usually like this. You’re more… subdued.” I almost wanted to go so far as to say she seemed rather Alice-like right now, but I _knew_ that wouldn’t get the best reaction.

“…It’s not everyday I get to see what I would have looked like if I weren’t what I am,” she admitted, biting her lip.

I nodded, not really understanding.

“It’s different, of course. But… it’s the closest approximation. And we must take what we can get, yes?”

I nodded again.

Victoria looked around, watching all the people pass by. “It’s strange being surrounded by so many human scents. And you smell especially good, you know that? Out of all the humans here, you’re like a searchlight among candles.” She sighed. “I’m …quite glad I decided not to kill you,” she told me.

My chest warmed up.

_Wow. Doesn’t take much to get to you, huh? Desperate much?_

We reached security soon enough, and passed through without any noticeable problems.

Victoria was waiting for me on the other side, and I hurried until I was next to her. We made it to the gate in less than a minute, as it was rather close to the entrance of the concourse. I set my backpack down and sat on one of the chairs in the waiting area, Victoria drifting over to the windows next to me that looked out on the planes on the tarmac.

“The last time I was on a plane was in the thirties. PanAm. London to New York,” Victoria told me, eyes moving from plane to plane to plane, raking over the giant metal vehicles.

Once again, I was struck at the sheer experience that the girl in front of me had, despite looking my age. “There were no turbines or jet engines. Just propellers. They weren’t so aerodynamic either. Or had so many people.”

She pointed to the giant Boeing 777 that would take us to Heathrow and smiled. “They would have never imagined an airliner like that could exist. Over three hundred people on a single plane.” She shook her head in wonder. “Less than eighty years, and look how far you’ve come.”

Victoria walked over and sat next to me, a brightness in her eyes. “It’s very rare that I get to do something so new and exciting. I’m… I’m glad I have the chance to.”

The warmth in my chest returned, stronger, and it felt like it was practically bursting.

I smiled at her, and she reached down, grasping my hand in hers. My brain shut down at the sudden physical contact, only responding with _Critical system error. Not ready reading drive B. Abort, Retry, Fail?_

 _Fail. Definitely Fail,_ the voice mocked.

“Thank you, Bella.” I looked over at Victoria mechanically, still trying to restart myself, and then nodded dumbly, even though I had no idea what she was thanking me for.

She turned and rested her head on my shoulder –still holding my hand–, looking over at each person that walked past us through the concourse.

 _What are we?_ I thought.

Victoria lifted her head up and looked at me, cocking her head curiously in a way that was so utterly _Victoria_. “Hm?”

…I’d said that out loud, hadn’t I? _Oh god._

The voice laughed mercilessly.

 _I should just say it’s nothing, right?_ I asked nervously. …And then I realized I was asking myself for advice. Well, if I hadn’t been crazy before, that definitely proved it.

_It’s your game, cupcake. I’m just a part of you, remember?_

_If you’re me, then tell me what you think I should do!_

_Are you **sure** you want me to do that?_

The voice’s sultry tone immediately threw up red flags.

_…On second thought, never mind._

I scrambled to find something to say, and Alice’s words from earlier in the day flashed through my mind. _“Nothing’s going to change if you don’t say anything.”_

“What… what are we?” I had my mouth repeat as I tried to find the strength in myself to do this.

Victoria’s eyebrows scrunched together. “What do you mean?”

“I mean… are we friends?”

She blinked, and I was momentarily captivated by her green eyes again. “I had assumed so. Why? Is that wrong?”

I shook my head, unable to bring myself to say anything.

“Then… what are you trying to say?” she asked curiously.

 _Fuck it,_ I thought, and practically _felt_ the voice grinning in my head.

I took a deep breath, mustering all of the courage I possibly could.

“This.” And then, in what might have been the most stupid, thoughtless, impulsive act in my life, I leaned forward and pressed my lips against hers.

* * *

After a beat of her heart Bella drew back, and for the first time I could remember, I was at a complete loss.

I think I might have managed an “Oh.”

The electric feeling in my body from all the blood I had consumed temporarily retreated to the back of mind, leaving me more lucid, if only just. My mind spun, trying to integrate and reconcile what had just happened but utterly failing.

I unconsciously took note of Bella’s state: slightly dilated pupils, a mild blush on her cheeks, increased pheromone production, and she herself fidgeting uncomfortably in her seat. And then I began looking backwards through our past interactions, seeing her reactions and how she acted around me in a new light.

Bella shifted, looking downwards. “I… um… I’ll just… leave you alone for now, I guess.”

I didn’t say anything, and I could tell she was hurt by my lack of response, her eyes watering slightly at the edges. But I had no idea of what to do, how I should act, for something like this. Bella stood up and walked away morosely until she was at the other side of the seating area, and sat down so that she was facing away from me, hunched over.

Five minutes later, and I was no closer to an idea of what to say or do.

Ten minutes.

Twenty.

And then it was time to board the aircraft. Bella stood by me as we waited to pass through the jetway, and when we found our assigned seats she sat next to me, but she avoided looking at me, hugging herself while seeming to shrink inwards.

It felt _wrong_.

_Wrongwrongwrongwrong **Wrong**._

But I had no idea how to make it _right_. What words I should say that would make her feel better. She had been so vulnerable in those seconds right after, emotions flickering across her face, and she still was, if only barely less so. I… I had not planned on this happening.

I hadn’t _imagined_ this happening.

She was to be my companion, but only insofar as standing with me, being by my side. She was the one who made it _better_ , and I didn’t want that to disappear.

I didn’t want _her_ to disappear.

This changed everything. It was obvious now, in retrospect. She had feelings for me. She _desired_ me.

Not simply because I was the greatest challenge, the one who could provide the best chase, but for some unfathomable reason she wanted _me_ , the girl named Victoria.

I looked over at her and found her sleeping –the cabin having dimmed around us without my noticing–, with small trails at the corners of her eyes. Something inside of me twisted harshly, and I reached out to brush a stray lock of hair out of her face, unable to stop myself from being slightly amused as she instinctively turned her head towards my cool skin like she had that first night in the hospital.

I wanted to kiss her tears away.

Starting at that sudden thought, I froze, my fingers still trailing over her temple. After a few seconds, I re-evaluated the statement, and found that it was still true.

I… I _wanted_ her.

I wanted to hold her, and comfort her, and kiss her, and _love_ her.

Desperately, I retreated, scrabbling within my mind to try and discover when this had happened, but I couldn’t find any definitive moment. It had just… happened. Somewhere along the line, she had filled the aching hole in my chest, and replaced it with something _more_. Something that was purely, decidedly, her.

This… this was not supposed to be able to happen. It wasn’t supposed to be possible. At all. When we lose a mate, _there is no replacement_. It is one of the central facts of being a vampire. There is only One. And James had been that for me, my other half.

But now… now there was Bella.

She was not a viable mate. She couldn’t be, simply because she wasn’t a vampire. Bella was human. But somehow she had still managed to slip in anyways. She didn’t completely fill the role, as having a mate is unique, but she came as close as possible without actually being that.

It was unprecedented. Perhaps that was why I hadn’t realized it, because I had believed it impossible and so it simply hadn’t even considered it.

And I was paying for it, because now that I knew this I could practically feel it: the raw animalistic emotions in me that all converged on one single thing. _Bella_.

Much like that first moment in the hospital, I wanted to run away. But unlike there where I had managed to keep myself there due to Bella’s attention, here I was trapped by my own design, in a suddenly-too-small metal tube. I had originally been looking forward to this experience, but now I was cursing it, eminently aware of my inability to go anywhere, to do anything.

A wave of panic washed over me. How… what was I supposed to do now? Should I wake her up? But, what would I tell her? She had clearly initiated, asking for a response, but how was I supposed to respond?

I felt lost.

She had opened herself in a way I hadn’t expected, and now, I had no idea what to do. Should I do the same? I felt distinctly uncomfortable at that thought, the thought of opening myself up to _anyone_ like that, ever since Anne and Heidi.

I needed to be able to talk to someone, to have them tell me what to do. I would have even accepted Mary Alice’s advice at this point. At least she had the benefit of future-sight, even if her personality could be rather… grating.

I wished my sister was still alive

 _She_ would have known what to do. She would have been able to tell me. Anne was always like that. Always there for me. Always knew what to say and what to do.

Not like I was for Bella right now.

My thought spun in circles, I can’t tell you for how long. All I knew was that somehow, I felt something for Bella. I simply had no way of knowing how, where, when, I should inform her and assure her.

I managed to distract myself after that. Staring out of the window on my left at the vivid blue sky, fiddling with the TV screen in front of us and the map that said we were currently over the Northwestern Passages.

When I found there was really nothing to do, I allowed myself to stop moving, closing my eyes in a believable approximation of sleep, but focusing on Bella’s breathing next to me, drifting into the rhythm of her heartbeat.

* * *

Sleeping on a plane is not exactly comfortable. Well, maybe if you’re in first class or something, but we weren’t. Getting your tickets almost literally last minute meant you were stuck with what they had left. Thankfully, Victoria had somehow managed to get herself a window seat with me next to her, so that she was only surrounded in five directions by humans, not eight (diagonals count).

None of that, however, had really been anything I’d paid attention to, instead trying to focus on suppressing the crushing feeling in my chest.

It wasn’t like I was about to burst into tears or anything. And I knew, logically, that the chances of Victoria responding to me had been almost negative, but… it still hurt.

It wasn’t rejection, I know. And I told myself that no matter what happened, I’d still be willing to give up on her if it meant being able to be with her. But I still had hope, and I feared that it was wrong.

I don’t remember what my dreams were. But when I woke, Victoria was there next to me, her head resting in the corner between the plastic siding of the plane and her seat, eyes closed. As soon as I shifted, she opened her eyes –still verdant green– and looked at me.

I couldn’t tell what she was thinking, and to be honest that was just as scary. I had no idea what to expect, no way to predict her actions, and that made it hard for me to know what was going to happen.

I hated the uncertainty.

But her mouth twitched upwards, and I let myself believe that I hadn’t ruined everything between us. That at worst, we could go back to how we were, _whatever_ we were, before I had screwed it all up.

“It’s been about six hours,” she told me. “Since we took off, that is.” I nodded wordlessly. “It’s currently night, but by the time we reach London and then get to Dublin, it’ll be noontime.”

I glanced out of the window by her shoulder and saw that it was, indeed, pitch-black out.

“I assume you’ll need to eat something when we get there,” she said, looking to me.

“…Yeah. Airplane food… isn’t exactly gourmet cooking,” I replied, managing to keep my voice level and actually sounding normal, not betraying the turmoil and nervousness I felt.

Victoria pursed her lips. “I don’t particularly know much about Dublin today. It’s been some time since I was there.”

And of course, “some time” for her probably meant over a century.

“The potato famine was an… interesting time.” She lowered her voice. “Diseased blood makes us sick, for lack of a better description. It was around then that I moved to Scotland for a while.”

“You never went anywhere else?”

She shook her head. “I mainly stayed on the Isles. Though I did travel to Australia for some time in the eighteenth century. At that point it was mostly convicts and prisoners, which meant that the hunting was good as Britain cared little about what happened to them.”

“And Maggie?” I asked, remembering the name that Alice had mentioned.

“Maggie was… a friend. She was changed during the Famine. Siobhan, her creator, had been changed during the same century as I, and it made it easy to get along with her. Liam, her mate, is always close to her. While I was never part of their coven, they were always very welcoming, and Siobhan is unusually kind for one of us. But perhaps most importantly, Siobhan is quite interested in those with abilities. I’m hoping that she’ll be open to helping me with your newborn period.”

“Have… have you ever been part of one? A coven,” I clarified, honestly curious. It sounded like Victoria was always on her own, but I got a sense that wasn’t her nature.

A flash of pain traveled across her face, and I almost recoiled at the utterly foreign expression on her, my chest tightening.

Victoria looked to the side, and her hands lifted up to hold her arms, hugging herself.

“Yes.” Her voice was a whisper.

“I’m… sorry for bringing it up,” I apologized.

She shook her head. “It was a fair question.” Victoria looked up, green eyes meeting mine.

She didn’t continue, and I didn’t ask anything more, allowing the subject to die.

“So… um. What should I expect?”

Victoria looked grateful for the change in topic. “As I’ve said, the first years are rather disorienting. Afterwards, it’s… like nothing else. I can’t really describe it. It can be lonely with no one else,” she admitted. “But…” She bit her lip. “I promise you’ll never be alone.”

I swallowed the sudden lump I felt in my throat, nodding.

_She doesn’t hate me._

I practically felt the voice in my head roll its eyes. _Still doesn’t mean she feels the same way._

_I- I know that, alright? You don’t have to make me feel worse._

Victoria looked at the screen’s clock in front of her, and then turned back to me. “You should get some more sleep. It’ll be morning when we get to London, and I understand the time change can be disorienting.”

I nodded again and pushed my seat back, trying to get more comfortable. I gave one last brief look at Victoria, and then closed my eyes.

* * *

“Miss?” someone called. “Miss?”

“Bella.”

My eyes snapped open at the sound of Victoria calling my name, and I looked over at her. She motioned with her head towards the aisle, and I turned to look.

One of the flight attendants stood there behind a cart. “Would you like the omelet or the pancakes in-flight meal this morning?”

A quick survey of my stomach, and I decided that plane-eggs was definitely unappetizing. “The pancakes.”

She nodded, reaching into the cart and pulling out a cardboard box. “Anything to drink?”

“Orange juice?” The woman got a small plastic bottle out and handed both the box and the bottle to me.

“And for you, miss?” she asked, looking at Victoria.

The redhead simply shook her head.

The flight attendant pulled a set of cardstock papers from the cart, handing them out to us as well as to the guy who’d been sitting next to me, dead to the world the entire flight.

“These are your embarkation forms. Please fill them out to present to customs if you are entering the country.”

I glanced over at Victoria and then back at the woman. “We’re only going to be there to catch another flight.”

She nodded and put the two extra cards away. “Please enjoy the rest of the flight.” And then she moved to the row behind us, where I could hear her repeating the process.

I looked warily at the plastic container in front of me that allegedly had pancakes and some fruit. It _was_ warm, so there was that. Grimacing, I pulled the top off and looked at the food, simultaneously getting my utensils out. At least they provided syrup and butter too. Coating my stack of three tiny pancakes liberally, I started eating, and was surprised to find it wasn’t terrible. It wasn’t _great_ , either, but then again it was airplane food.

Victoria watched me while I ate, which I expected. Modern human food had to be a serious novelty to someone who was almost five-hundred years old.

The last hour of the flight was passed in relative silence, and I alternated channel-surfing the little screen on the back of the headrest in front of me and staring out the window where only clouds were visible. The real-time map that had our plane’s position on it was pretty entertaining though, as it updated nearly every minute.

Landing in Heathrow was exciting, and underwhelming at the same time. It was the first time I’d ever really been to another country (Canada didn’t exactly count when it was closer than the next state was). I hadn’t been able to see much out of the window before we landed, but Victoria informed me there wasn’t much to see, as Heathrow was a good twenty miles away from central London, and we flew in from the west.

It also took a while to de-plane, but when I finally got to stand up, my muscles protested at having been in the same position for almost ten hours. Victoria and I grabbed our bags from the overhead bins and then got off, making our way from where we were (Terminal 3) to where we needed to be (Terminal 2).

 _That_ flight was largely unexciting, being a simple “get on, sit for two hours, get off” deal.

And then we were – _finally_ – in Dublin.

* * *

“Soooo what now?” I asked, looking over at Victoria as we walked out of the doors of the airport.

We’d gotten through Customs and Immigration unscathed, and I had no doubt that it was in part because of how little we were traveling with.

“The last I heard from them, they were located between Athlone and Longford. As Athlone is relatively large, it will be a good place to stay while I’m attempting to get in contact with them.”

“You don’t know where they are?”

She shook her head. “It’s been a few decades since I was in contact with them. It shouldn’t take very long to find them though, as Ireland is relatively small.”

Ireland was _small_?

“…If you say so,” I agreed hesitantly. “How are we going to get there?”

Victoria shifted the bag on her shoulder with the two motorcycle helmets, drawing my attention to it. I noticed then that she was leading me to the long-term parking area.

“You have another one here?” I asked incredulously.

She shook her head. “I had someone arrange our transportation before we left. A man named Jenks who knows about us. He’s also the one who provided me with the passport a few weeks ago.”

“Ah.”

We walked through the lot, and while I had no idea where we were going, it seemed Victoria did, because within minutes we were in front of a small covered object, that –when the cover had been pulled off– was revealed to be… surprise! yet another motorcycle.

“Do you have a thing for motorcycles?”

Victoria looked back at me from folding the cover and the bag she’d removed the helmets from. “A ‘thing’?”

I shrugged. “Like an interest or something?”

“Oh. No,” she replied, going back to what she’d been doing. “It’s a matter of efficiency. They are small, relatively cheap, and easy to maintain. Truthfully, the only reason we are using them is because you’re still human.”

I flushed. It always came back to the human, didn’t it?

She swung a leg over the bike and started it as I walked towards her, making sure my backpack was secure. Victoria handed over my helmet, and I started putting it on, she doing the same as I climbed behind her.

I sighed to myself as I realized I was going to have to put my arms around her again.

 _Hey, at least you get to basically feel her up even if she doesn’t like you, right?_ the voice commented.

I ignored it and grabbed on, trying to ignore how it felt to be pressed up against her.

The trip to Athlone was shorter than I’d expected, only about an hour and a half, and I’d passed it by paying attention to all of the scenery. It was also strange because we were driving on the left side of the road, and everything was reversed. I don’t think I’d have handled that well if I were driving my truck.

All of the road signs had at least two things on them, and by the fifth sign I’d figured out that the top words were a different language of the same thing as the lower English version. It looked pronounceable, at least most of them did, but I had no doubt I’d be terribly butchering it if I even tried.

We got there around four, and Victoria brought us to an out-of-the-way inn, skillfully negotiating with the man at the desk while I sat outside, messing with the BlackBerry Alice had given me and figuring out how to use it. She returned with a key in hand and we made our way to the room, her bike getting parked right outside.

Of course, there was only one bed in the room, and for a second I was surprised, my mind flooded with images of pale skin and cool tou–

And then I realized it was because I was the only one who’d sleep on it.

_Stupid hormones._

I despondently tossed my bag on the bed, flopping backwards onto it and staring at the ceiling.

“Bella?”

I pulled myself up at my name, sitting on the edge of the bed. Victoria was standing by the edge of the room, and looked almost… nervous. Vulnerable. Words that I’d never normally associate with the strong-willed girl I knew.

Her contacts were gone, revealing red eyes again. The red eyes that I’d fallen in love with. Red eyes that showed me a girl who was still broken, but had started to heal.

And I had fucked it all up.

“Yesterday…”

My heartbeat sped up, and I felt the onset of panic. This was it. “I, I’m sorry. I-I shouldn’t have done that. It was a mistake,” I rushed out.

Something hardened in her eyes, and she walked over to me. I balked from the sudden change in bearing, and having her close to me wasn’t exactly helping with my ability to think clearly.

She reached out towards my face with both hands, and I had to stop myself from flinching away, but Victoria held my head straight, so that all I could do was look in her eyes. Eyes that were suddenly warm, but carrying a spark of anticipation.

And then she leaned forward and kissed me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALL OF THE FEELS. HAVE THEM.
> 
> I hope you’re happy
> 
> .
> 
> .
> 
> .
> 
> because _I_ certainly am :3
> 
> (says ensō, giggling excitedly in the corner like she’s a sixteen-year-old again)


	9. Actions and Reactions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings are shown, bonding is had, Victoria meets some old friends, and Bella explores Athlone.

_“Newton’s Laws of Motion!” Mr. Johnson tapped the board with a dry-erase marker. “And no, I’m not talking about you, Mister Newton,” he said while looking at Mike._

_Everybody laughed._

_“So! Who can tell me what they are?” He looked around. “First Law: Marissa!” He pointed to a blonde on the other side of the room._

_“Um, an object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion, unless acted upon by an outside force,” the girl recited._

_“Correct! Second Law….” Johnson looked around the room again. “Robert!”_

_“The applied force vector of an object is equal to its mass times its acceleration, and is in the same direction as its acceleration vector.”_

_“…A bit wordy, but correct nonetheless. Third Law!” He pointed at a brown-haired girl. “Samantha!”_

_“Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.”_

_“Yes. Pay attention to the wording of that: ‘equal’ and ‘opposite’,” he told us. “For everything that you do, there is an equal force in the opposite direction. You lean against a wall, the wall doesn’t just crumble. The Earth is pulling you down with gravity.” He jumped._ “ _But the floor is keeping you from falling into it, pushing up against you. You catch a football and stop it, but it leaves your hands stinging._

“ _Equal and opposite. You push, and something pushes back. There’s **always** something resisting._

_“Action. Reaction.”_

* * *

The kiss itself wasn’t anything special. It was actually rather chaste, but her lips definitely lingered against mine longer than could be considered just “friendly”.

I was initially surprised, my eyes going wide and heart speeding up to jack-rabbit speeds, but after a moment I relaxed, savoring the feel of her lips against mine.

Victoria drew back, and I was once again falling into her eyes, those bright red irises that managed to convey so much. They were practically dancing with happiness.

“What…” I struggled to find my voice. “What was that?”

“Yes,” she said simply.

“Yes?” I echoed.

“My answer. Yes,” she clarified.

“Yes what?”

“I don’t know. But whatever it is, yes.” She smirked.

“A-are you telling me that… that you’re okay with what I did?” I asked anxiously.

Her smirk softened into a warm smile. “More than okay.” My eyebrows rose.

“W-wait. You’re… you’re saying that… you and me…”

“Yes, as you put it, ‘you and me’,” she repeated, eyes twinkling in amusement.

I was speechless, and my hands flew up to my mouth of their own accord. I felt my eyes watering, my vision going slightly blurry.

“Bella?” Victoria asked hurriedly, worry creeping into her voice. “What’s wrong?”

I shook my head, taking a breath of air. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

“Then why are you crying?”

“I’m happy,” I told her, laughing. “I’m so happy, I can’t help it.”

“Oh,” she said, smiling once again.

“Can… Can I kiss you?” I asked nervously. God I wanted to kiss her.

“…Yes.”

Our lips met, and it was everything I’d dreamed it would be.

* * *

We hadn’t gone any further beyond that. We hadn’t even really made out. Instead, Victoria had joined me in bed, and she’d drawn me into her arms, just holding me as I reveled in how it felt to be held by her. How absolutely wonderful and safe and comforting and _perfect_ it was.

Unfortunately, it had to come to an end, as all good things do, the sheer bliss I felt interrupted by my stomach grumbling at the fact that I hadn’t eaten anything since the small sandwich I’d gotten around ten-thirty in Heathrow.

Victoria had smirked at me as I blushed, kissing my forehead as I apologized to her. She’d shaken her head, smiling in amusement, and told me there was nothing to apologize for, and that she found my human needs more interesting and a novelty than an inconvenience. And then she’d asked if I’d like to go out to find something to eat.

I’d agreed, and then realized that it could be thought of as our first date and that I hadn’t cleaned up since the day before, hurriedly taking an extremely quick shower before dressing in clean clothes. When we finally made it out to her bike, I’d asked her if this was a date and she’d asked me if I wanted it to be. I’d flushed again, responding in the affirmative, Victoria had just fidgeted slightly, looking off-balance, and then said “Okay”, kissing me on the cheek before handing my helmet over.

We’d ridden through the town, and eventually I’d pointed out a smaller place that seemed out-of-the-way, and we’d gone in, seated by a cheerful waitress. I didn’t recognize half of the things on the menu, and decided to play it safe, ordering a potato pie that was supposedly more like a stew in a bowl with a pastry layer on top than an actual pie.

After I ordered, Victoria reached across the table and placed her hand on mine.

I’d blinked, looking down and then back up at her.

“You’re very… affectionate for someone who hadn’t really touched me until…” I hesitated, “that Sunday.”

A look of confusion and then a small grimace. “I… I’m sorry,” she said, starting to withdraw her hand until I grabbed it and held it in mine, lacing our fingers together in an arch over the wooden surface.

“N-no! Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t like it…” I flushed. I actually enjoyed it a great deal. “It’s just… unexpected.”

She looked down at her other hand, tracing loops and patterns on the table slowly with her finger. “It’s… slightly embarrassing. I didn’t expect it, but the more instinctual side of us is quite possessive, and it seems even more so with you since you’re practically defenseless from one of us, being human.”

“Sooo… what, you’re like, staking your claim?”

She looked distinctly uncomfortable, and I swear I saw a slight dusting of pink on her cheeks. “Yes. If any other vampire were to smell you, they’d know you were mine.”

_Hers._

I was _hers._ My heart pounded in my ears as her statement resonated with me, and I felt myself heat up as blood rushed to the lower half of my body.

I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry.

I was half a second from leaning over the table and drawing her into another breathless kiss, blind to everyone else in the restaurant, before the waitress appeared with my food. Hesitantly, I untwined my fingers from hers, simultaneously cursing the interruption and thanking it for keeping me from doing anything indecent.

The dinner passed uneventfully after that, Victoria watching me like a hawk as I ate the surprisingly good meal. We paid for it once I was done (well, Victoria paid for the meal), and made our way back to the room, lingering in the darkening streets of Athlone.

Back in the room, I found myself suddenly exhausted –more than likely in large part due to the eight hour time difference–, getting ready for bed and then lying down under the sheet, Victoria turning off the lights.

Unlike what I’d expected, a weight joined me on the bed, Victoria lying down next to me on her side, looking at my face.

“Aren’t you going to go searching for Maggie and the others?” I asked. That’s what I’d assumed she’d be doing.

She shook her head. “I’ll do it tomorrow during the day. One of the nice things about Ireland is the rural-ness of it, so we can travel freely, even when it’s daylight out.” She brushed a finger over my forehead, pushing my hair to the side. “Besides, Ireland is steeped in legend and connections to the supernatural, even today. They would most likely recognize me as a dearg-due and not say anything about it out of fear.”

“A what?”

“An Irish vampire. It comes from a very old legend about a young girl, two thousand years ago, with pale blonde hair and blood-red lips with pure white skin who committed suicide and then rose and drank the blood of those who’d wronged her. One of the first vampire legends ever, in fact.”

“Two thousand years?”

“I told you, the legends of Ireland are old, and the barriers between your world and ours are particularly thin in the Isles. Selkies, merrow, the sídhe, the Tuatha dé Danann, and even the stories of the old gods were –or still are– fact here.”

“They’re still here?” I asked, my voice raising.

She twisted some of my hair around her finger, playing with it. “Yes. Not many, but yes. As I told you before, after humans settled here the Tuatha Dé Danann retreated to what is now known as Avalon, _long_ before I was born. Other than that, there are some selkie and merrow in the north isles of Ireland and west Scotland, and a handful banshee that still wander around. Maybe a few dullahan as well. The modern world hasn’t been very kind to them. Nor us, for that matter. There are much fewer vampires than there were a thousand years, even centuries ago.”

“Why?”

Victoria gently ran her fingers through my hair. “It’s getting harder and harder to hide our existence. Humans live closer together and the risk of discovery is high if we’re not careful.”

“Oh.”

“It’s not something to worry about as long as we are careful. And I’ve been doing this for quite awhile, so I’ll be able to show you how to avoid notice.” The redhead leaned in to kiss my temple. “But for now, you should go to sleep, Bella. I’ll still be here in the morning.”

“Promise?” I asked, yawning.

I could just imagine the amused smile she had on her face. “I promise.”

“Okay. ’Night Vicky,” I said as I closed my eyes tiredly.

“Good night,” she whispered back.

* * *

About an hour after falling asleep, Bella had rolled over and draped herself over me. I doubt she’d even realized it. Her head rested in the crook of my neck and my shoulder, and every so often she moved it, murmuring as I held her. At first it was nonsense, but then the first clear word I’d heard came out.

“Victoria.”

She’d said it breathlessly, a whisper. But it was undoubtedly my name. And she’d said it with such… reverence and adoration. The thing inside me preened at hearing my name said like that, from her lips.

_Mine,_ it declared, _mineminemineminemine._

I was more content and serene than I’d ever been before.

She was _mine_. Well and truly, in every way that mattered to me.

That kiss. That kiss that I’d suddenly known was the perfect response. The only response.

It had been so _warm_. Warm, and soft, and delicate, just like her. I was going to miss that. She was so human, and my instincts had clearly claimed her, recognizing that she was no longer so much as food but something _more_.

Oh, her blood still smelled amazingly delicious, but there was not so much desire to drink her dry, just the desire to _drink_.

Instead of a cup of cognac in front of an alcoholic, it was more like a glass of fine wine in front of a sommelier, someone who could appreciate the smell and look and vintage, letting it aerate for some time before taking slow, small sips and savoring every different taste and spice.

And I was very much anticipating the time I would get to sample it.

“Vicky… Love you.”

I froze. And then it almost felt like my heart beat again from the warmth in my chest.

_She loves me. She **loves** me._

If I could blush, I’m sure I would be. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if I _could_ right now, simply because of how much blood I had in my body.

_Me_. Blushing.

_What are you doing to me, Bella?_

Almost unconsciously, I held her tighter, enjoying the softness and warmth of her humanity, and Bella sighed contentedly in my grip.

Relaxing, I closed my eyes, letting myself drift into the rhythm of the sounds she made.

* * *

When I woke, I was on top of Victoria.

I blinked.

…Still on top of her.

_That’s what happens when you don’t move. You stay where you are,_ the voice snarked.

I gulped, and began to push myself up off of her, when I saw her amused bright-red eyes following my face. “…Um. Good morning?”

“Good morning,” she returned, smiling.

I was propped six inches above her, on my elbows, when she suddenly moved and locked lips with me.

It was all I could do to avoid collapsing on top of her.

After a few seconds, she drew back, watching me once again.

“…What was that for?” I asked.

“No reason.” She laughed. “You were there. Vulnerable. Open. I wanted to, so I took advantage of it.”

“…Oh.” I responded dumbly, blushing.

Victoria grinned. “You talk in you sleep.”

“What.”

“You said my name.”

My blush deepened. “D-did I say anything else?”

_Dear god, please don’t tell me I had a sex dream and she heard something._

The voice laughed.

Victoria’s eyes softened. “You said you love me.”

I was doing a very good impression of a tomato, I was sure. The sun had nothing on the amount of heat I could feel on my cheeks.

“…Is that true?”

I nodded hesitantly, embarrassed at my slip.

“Really?”

“…Yeah,” I whispered.

Without any effort, she rolled me over, straddling my hips and holding my hands above my head.

…Okay. I could get used to this. This was nice. I had some fantasies that started out like this.

I felt my body beginning to react to her position on top of me, but Victoria didn’t seem to notice, instead leaning down and capturing my lips with hers, kissing me slowly.

This one was significantly longer than any we’d had before, more a series of smaller, shorter kisses where each one seamlessly flowed into the next.

After a minute or five (it wasn’t like I was coherent enough to tell), Victoria drew back, causing me to groan in frustrated desire. She grinned. “Later.”

“Later?” Later what?

She shook her head wordlessly, refusing to say anything else, even as she continued to grin and give me one final peck on the lips. Clambering off of my midsection, she swept her legs under her and off the side of the bed, standing up.

Victoria held out a hand to me, and I looked at it, confused, before taking it. She pulled me up and off of the bed, holding me upright as I got used to the sudden change in orientation. “I’m going to be searching for Maggie, Siobhan, and Liam today.”

It took me a moment to process her words with the combination of my kiss-induced haze and the lightheadedness of blood rushing from my head.

I nodded. “Okay.”

“You’ll be on your own.”

I turned towards her, still being held by her from when she’d pulled me up. “I know.” I rested my head on her collarbone, breathing in and then sighing. “Just… Just come back soon, okay?”

She laughed softly. “Of course.” Victoria hugged me, and kissed my forehead before drawing back.

This Victoria was so… _different_ than what I’d seen of her in the past month or so. She was so free in her expressions, her emotions, and I reveled in it. She was more beautiful like this than ever, and my chest tightened at the thought of seeing her like she’d been before again.

“You should be able to walk around freely here. Go outside. Enjoy your last days as a human around other people, do the… ‘tourist thing’?”

I laughed. “Alright.”

She nodded, satisfied with my response. “I’ll come find you, whether I am successful or not. I doubt they would come back with me if I do find them, but just in case…”

“I understand. Be ready to meet your friends.”

Victoria shook her head, amused. “More… be ready to be around three other human-drinking vampires with a highly possessive and territorial partner. That will be the case when you meet with them anyways.”

I looked at her in surprise. I hadn’t expected her to be so candid and just come out and say something like that, however much it was true.

She smiled, but it melted into a grimace. “When we do meet them, you might have to be prepared to show your shield. I have no doubt Siobhan will want proof of any claims I make, especially considering how rare ability-holding humans are in the first place, much less those with such… powerful abilities.”

I sat down on the bed, staring at her. “Is it really that big of a deal?”

Victoria nodded. “Yes. I don’t think you understand the enormity of what you can do. Bella, you were able to stop an easily four-hundred pound wolf in mid-leap traveling at over a hundred miles an hour with practically no effort.”

I blinked. Wow. I hadn’t thought of it like that before.

“And as a vampire, innate abilities and traits are amplified practically exponentially. It is how normal humans such as I was are able to gain them in the first place. I have no idea how your power will change after your transformation, but suffice to say it will not grow any weaker.”

That was really hard for me to absorb. I’d always been Bella Swan, uncoordinated human. Not anything even close to _powerful_ like Victoria was making me out to sound like.

The redhead reached out and stroked the side of my face, a soft look in her eyes. “I simply worry about its affect on you. Considering what happened the last time.”

The last time? Oh. Right. The splitting migraine and blood vessel I’d burst… somewhere.

I shook my head. “If I need to, I’ll do it. Don’t worry about me.”

She chuckled. “Bella, I can’t _not_ worry about you. It’s instinctual, part of what I am. You are _mine_.”

I ducked my head in slight embarrassment, a blush on my cheeks. “Yeah…” I conceded.

Victoria leaned down and kissed my forehead again. “Take care. I’ll be back shortly after sundown.”

I nodded, looking up and meeting her eyes, smiling as she took her hand away and walked over to the rack on the wall by the door of the room, taking her red leather jacket off the peg and putting it on, grabbing her helmet from next to where her had been. Victoria opened the door and stepped through it.

“See you later!”

She turned and grinned, the venom on her teeth glinting in the light of the room. “’Later.”

I was unable to keep the grin from my face at the modern idiom coming out of her mouth.

“I love you,” I whispered as she closed the door.

I knew she’d been able to hear it.

* * *

I felt my smile widen upon hearing Bella’s words behind me, and allowed myself a momentary pause to enjoy the feeling they brought.

Looking around, I noticed the barely-ambient light from the sun’s rise on the horizon. It was foggy, with dense clouds that covered the entire sky. The pavement was wet from the early-morning rain, puddles around the motorcycle I’d be using to get out of the city limits and to somewhere I could begin my search.

It was perfect weather for one of us. I’d missed the Isles so much. It was nice to be back.

Mounting the bike, I started it, backing up and pulling out of the small parking lot onto the street. It took less than ten minutes to travel northward and find a suitably wooded area that I could pull off of the road and drag the bike into far enough that it wouldn’t be seen. Leaving the helmet on top of the bike’s seat, I mentally began planning how to go about searching.

Ireland is largely uninhabited flatland, with a total population less than half that of New York City in total, and about two-thirds of Washington state from what I remembered, with less than half the land.

When I’d told Bella that there was not much to search, I had been serious. I only anticipated this taking three days at most, and that was only if they were at the very coasts, which they usually weren’t.

Taking a breath, I started running north-east. I’d start my search in Northern Ireland, finish that first, and then move onto the rest of the northern third of the island.

I sped up, pushing myself forward to the fastest speed I could reach, and made the distance in a little under thirty minutes, having avoided certain areas and obviously populated areas.

I’d paid attention to my sense of smell, but hadn’t picked up anything interesting. Halting around where I remembered Bangor being, I began my search, running northwards, halting when I reached the coast, going west, traveling southward, stopping at Northern Ireland’s border, moving west, and repeating.

Not the most elegant or entertaining method, but I wanted to make sure I missed nothing.

It was around four when I finally caught something around Sligo, a trail that wasn’t fresh, but recent enough that it would have been in the past two weeks. I followed it southwest, and it must have been fifty miles that it finally became fresh enough for only a few days ago.

Slowing down, I started really focusing on the trail. It was three vampires, and the scents matched. Another ten minutes, and it was only hours ol–

“Victoria?”

I halted and looked to the right in the direction of the accented voice. A girl a couple of inches shorter than Bella stood there looking at me, with very curly brown hair and red eyes that matched her lips. She wore a short jacket over a vest of the same length, a t-shirt underneath them, and a pair of rolled-up shorts that matched her vest over black tights.

I smiled. “Maggie.”

“Goodness, it’s been _ages_ since we saw you last,” she commented, hurrying over and wrapping her arms around me in a welcoming hug.

I returned the gesture. “Yeah, it has. Too long,” I noted.

She stepped back and nodded, taking my hand. “Come on, Siobhan and Liam will want to see you too, I imagine. Our house is only a few miles south of here.”

Maggie led me over the fields, and we eventually arrived at a smallish house with white-painted walls and a blue roof. Not hesitating at the back door, she opened and stepped in, bringing me along into the kitchen and then a sitting-room.

“Siobhan, Liam. Look who I’ve brought!”

A moment later and the tall black-haired woman and her even taller mate were in the room along with us, the woman’s eyes widening slightly when she saw me. Much like Maggie, if more controlled, she walked over and drew me into a hug, though hers was significantly tighter.

“It’s good to see you, Victoria,” she said, moving back after a few seconds. “How long has it been, a hundred years?”

“One hundred fifty,” I corrected.

She nodded. “Well. Take a seat. You must tell us about what you’ve been up to. How have you been?”

I acquiesced, sitting on the sofa a few feet behind me, Maggie seating herself at the other end while Siobhan and Liam sat on a loveseat.

“I’m doing well,” I told them, smiling while thinking of Bella, the cause for my current state.

“You seem better than ‘well’.” Maggie said.

“Yes, well, that’s… a bit of tale,” I replied.

“Let’s see, you went to Scotland after you left here, correct?” Siobhan asked.

“Yes. I was there for a while. Fifteen years or so. And then I went back to London.”

“You always did seem to have a fondness for London,” the woman remarked. “Large cities seem to agree with you.”

I nodded. “Well, while there, there was a tracker who found me. I ran off, and he followed. I led him on a chase over Europe and Western Asia over the course of a decade, and eventually I let him catch me.”

“That doesn’t sound like you,” Siobhan noted. “I wouldn’t have ever expected you to let him get you.”

I grimaced. “After a while I began to find his confidence and determination appealing.”

“You fell for him,” Maggie said. It wasn’t a question.

“Yes,” I confirmed. “And he took me.”

Siobhan blinked. “You are mated? Where is this man? I’d like to meet him.”

I shook my head. “Not… not anymore.”

There was a sharp intake of breath from my right. “You mean…?” Maggie started.

I sighed. “Yeah. James is… dead.”

It felt so much easier to say than I’d ever imagined. But that was Bella had done for me.

“When?”

“This past March.”

“ _This_ March, seven months ago?” Siobhan asked in surprise. I nodded. “How… how can the hell can you be doing _‘well’_ after that? You were smiling when you came in here! How?”

“Things… changed,” I said. “I was in love with him, but I suspect he only ever loved me because of my ability and how it helped him. He took more and more risks because of it, and we barely escaped a few times. He got… overconfident. Arrogant. And it killed him.”

“What happened?”

“He found a girl. He said she smelled particularly good, and decided she would be a worthy target. But she was… protected.”

“Protected?” Maggie asked.

“We were traveling through Washington when we came across a rather large coven of seven–”

“Carlisle’s family,” Siobhan interrupted suddenly. “It must be. They are the coven I know of with seven.”

“I suppose. I wouldn’t know, I’d never met them. However, they also had a human with them. A girl that was supposedly the youngest’s. And James decided that she would be his target.” Siobhan frowned. “I told him that it was too risky, that there was no chance, but his arrogance got the best of him, and he persisted anyways, even going so far to follow the girl hundreds of miles south. He supposedly nearly captured her, but they have… gifts that we were not aware of, and they caught him while he was playing with her. And… that’s it,” I said, turning my hands over so my palms were facing up and lifting them in a gesture of questioning.

“And yet… you sit before us, sane,” Liam said, speaking for the first time so far.

“I wasn’t,” I told them. “For months, I wasn’t. I decided to take revenge by killing the girl myself. It was months before I finally was able to hold myself together enough to find her. And… they were gone. That _family_ had left her. They had left her behind, still human, and simply disappeared.”

“That doesn’t sound like Carlisle. He wouldn’t break the law like that,” Siobhan said.

I shrugged. “It was the situation. She was there, they weren’t.”

“So, you killed her, then,” Maggie stated.

I shook my head. “No.”

They looked at me in confusion. “…Why not?”

“Because the boy had made her the same as me. She was shattered,” I explained. “I nearly did. But when it came time, she was alive, but at the same time lifeless. She told me to kill her. And I… I decided not to.”

_“Why?”_ Maggie questioned in confusion. “The law…”

I shook my head. “I wanted to kill her for revenge. Nothing else. But with the boy gone, her death would have been meaningless. And what he had done to her had already killed her inside. Nothing I could do to her would be worse than what she was already experiencing.”

“That still doesn’t explain–”

_“She was like me.”_

Maggie’s mouth made a silent ‘oh’.

“I was alone. I’d been planning to make a companion for awhile, but decided to delay that until after her death. And then I found her. _And she **understood**._ ”

“…And there was still the law,” Maggie said.

I rolled my eyes. “Yes. And there was the law. Kill or turn. There was no point to her death, but turned she could be the one I’d been looking for.”

“So have you? Where is _she_ , then?”

“I decided to wait.”

“When was all of this?” Siobhan asked.

“…A month ago,” I admitted.

“So then where is she?”

“Athlone,” I stated.

“You left a newborn in Athlone _unsupervised!?_ ”

“No! No,” I denied. “Do you really think I would do such a thing?”

“I don’t know, Victoria. You lost your mate seven months ago, and then decided to kill a girl under the protection of seven vampires as revenge, and when you finally got to doing it, decided _not_ to but instead to keep her. So I have no idea what to think you might do.”

I winced at her description. When put like that… “Alright. I see your point,” I conceded. “But no, she’s still human. I wanted to wait because I was curious how she would recover from what the boy did to her. But as soon as I began observing her she was different. She was so _intriguing_. You don’t understand, she’s so different than any other human I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t stop watching her. She talked with me like… like I was a friend, like it was nothing remarkable. Like I was important and worth it, even though I was broken. _She made me forget the pain._ ”

“You’re obsessed,” Siobhan told me.

I shrugged. “Perhaps,” I accepted. “It’s better than being half-mad though, I’d say. Wouldn’t you?”

She just shook her head. “So then why are you here? With some still-human girl?”

“I _had_ been planning on changing her near where we were, but then we ran into some… problems,” I prevaricated.

“Problems?” Maggie echoed.

I rolled my eyes. “Shapeshifters. Wolves. They took a great deal of offense at my being in the area. We went to meet them, they made it quite clear I wasn’t welcome. We left.”

“That still doesn’t explain why _here_ instead of somewhere else,” Siobhan said.

“It’s a good place for a newborn to be? I missed the Isles?”

“That’s… not it,” Maggie stated.

_Oh, right. Truth-telling._

“Fine. I was hoping you’d be willing to help me look after her,” I confessed.

Siobhan looked at me appraisingly. “Why would we?”

“Siobhan!” Maggie exclaimed.

The tall woman shook her head. “I’m not against it, I’m just wondering why you came to us.”

“Because I consider you to be some of the closest friends I have left,” I told her. Maggie smiled warmly. “And… because she has a gift.”

Maggie’s smile turned into a look of confusion. “You’re not lying. You really believe that.”

“I _know_ it.”

“You… you found a human that has a gift? That Carlisle just happened to leave behind?” Siobhan asked incredulously.

“I don’t know if they knew of her ability. In fact, I highly doubt they did. But I’ve seen it myself. Siobhan, she _protected_ me.”

_“What?”_

“She’s a shield. The strongest bloody shield I’ve ever seen. Mental _and_ physical. As a human. She stopped a four-hundred fifty pound wolf going as fast as one of us instantly. _As a fucking human_. Can you imagine what she’ll be able to do as a vampire?”

Siobhan looked at Maggie in surprise, who just nodded. “Alright. Perhaps I can understand why you are so interested in her,” she admitted. “I’d like to see her for myself, though.”

I nodded, even as my inner self screamed _MINE_.

“Alright, I told her you might want to,” I said to her. _minemineminemine **mine**_ “But, she’s mine.”

The taller woman blinked. “‘Yours’?”

I nodded again. “ _Mine._ ”

“What are you talking abou–”

“Holy shit, you fell for her,” Maggie exclaimed suddenly. “You’re _claiming_ her.”

I shifted uncomfortably. Siobhan looked between Maggie and I. “Is this true?”

I slowly nodded. “…yes.”

“You lost your mate. And now you’re saying you found someone else? That you fell in love with some human girl seven months later? No. I might have been able to believe everything else, but that’s impossible,” Siobhan told me. “You’re delusional.”

The thing inside me raged at the implication that I was lying to them, and I snarled loudly.

Everybody looked at me in shock, suddenly on edge and almost jumping out of their seats.

I took a minute to school myself, calming down. “No. _No,_ ” I breathed. “You’re wrong.”

I looked up at Siobhan, locking eyes with the woman. “ _I love her,_ ” I stated resolutely, my proclamation ringing in the room’s silence and brooking no argument.

Siobhan swallowed and her eyes flicked over to Maggie, who nodded in the corner of my eye.

The older woman looked troubled. “I…” she began. “I think my coven and I need time to consider everything you’ve told us before we come to any conclusions.”

I nodded in acceptance, recognizing the dismissal. “I plan on turning her before the end of next week. We’ll be in Athlone until then.” I stood up. “It was good seeing you again,” I said, looking particularly at Maggie who smiled.

With no other words, I stood up and walked to the door that I had entered the house from. Maggie walked behind me, and when I stepped outside I turned around. The shorter girl hugged me. “Bye Victoria. I’m sure the others’ll come around, just give them some time.”

I smiled. “I hope so.”

With a smile in return, Maggie closed the door.

I sighed. That could have gone better. I suppose it could have gone worse as well. Beginning the journey back, I slowly picked up my pace, my thoughts soon traveling away from who I had just left behind and to the girl I that was going to see.

* * *

After Victoria left I took a shower, this time able to take long enough to actually enjoy the warm spray of water. After I was done, I got dressed and was about to stop when I remembered something.

_I don’t have any money._

Well shit. Now wha–

I blinked. There was a number of bills folded in half and pinned down by the lamp and the end of the table against the wall opposite the bed.

Smiling at Victoria’s thoughtfulness, I pocketed the money and and stepped outside, immediately wrinkling my nose at the weather. It was the _exact_ same as Forks. Literally. Down to the hundred-percent cloud cover, low-fifties temperature, and obvious early morning rain.

Well, at least it was something familiar?

Sighing, I closed the door behind me and locked it, looking around and deciding to try my luck at finding something for breakfast.

Athlone was small. Like, Port Angeles small. As in, I could probably walk the width of it in forty minutes.

I finally found what I was looking for about twenty minutes towards what I figured passed for “downtown” and across a river. “The River Shannon” according to a sign I saw. I made note of a few interesting-looking places along the way, including what looked like an actual castle.

The little café was relatively normal, and I ended up accepting the waitress’ insistence on getting me a “real breakfast” and “a cup of _proper_ tea” after she noted my apparent accent. I suppose I _was_ the accented one to them.

It was… large. I had a feeling that if I managed to eat it all I wouldn’t be hungry until dinner. There was a fried egg, two sausages, a fried tomato, baked beans (for breakfast?), a couple slices of toast, two large slices of bacon that seemed more like ham, and a pair of thick black and white… discs that I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what they had in them, but ate anyways (and found surprisingly good). The sheer amount of protein in it was staggering.

I managed to eat the entire thing, but had to sit and nurse my tea for almost a half hour before I was ready to go outside and explore some more.

My curiosity of the castle I’d seen before returned as soon as I saw it again, and I decided to take Victoria’s advice and do “the tourist thing”. It was made of stone and pretty large, apparently built in the 1200s, which made me goggle. It was four hundred years older than Victoria.

It was a weird feeling walking through it. In America, there was nothing this old, and yet this castle just sat here, almost a millennia old, still standing and visited by people every day.

After that, I really just wandered around town, stopping into shops that I saw that looked interesting. Around five I went back to where Victoria and I had gone for dinner the night before, and got a salad, deciding that I just wanted something light.

And then I was back at our room to get out of the rain that had started right after I got to the restaurant. I wasted time watching the TV, which had _really_ different channels than what I was used to, and particularly had ones in what I assumed was the language I’d seen on the roadsigns the day before.

Whatever it was, I didn’t understand a word of it.

My idle browsing was interrupted by the door opening, a thoroughly-wet redhead stepping inside.

I couldn’t stop myself from smiling at the sight of her, and turned off the TV before getting up and walking over to her as she got out of her jacket.

As soon as she turned around, I froze. Even looking like a half-drowned kitten, she was amazing.

She smirked as if she could read my thoughts, and they slowed even further. She stepped towards me, almost predatorily. I unconsciously took a step back, and she followed, slowly pushing me until my back pressed up against the wall and I had nowhere to go. Victoria placed her hands on either side of me, trapping me.

“H-hi?” I greeted.

“Hello.” Her voice was low, carrying an undercurrent of amusement.

I stared up into her eyes. Such a bright, beautiful shade of vermilion.

She simply stood there, holding me in place against the wall. I could see something her eyes, something that reminded me of her bloodlust, but different.

Slowly, hesitantly, I tilted my head upwards towards hers, my eyes flicking from her eyes to her lips. She responded, moving downwards slightly to meet me halfway, closing the gap between us and then capturing my lips with her own.

Dear God I loved kissing this girl.

Moving from the chaste kiss that we first shared, I returned for a second, this time taking the lead as it started becoming rather heated. I impulsively bit her lower lip, and she answered my non-vocal question by parting her lips, opening herself to me for the first time.

I moaned unconsciously as something cold ran across my front teeth.

Kissing Victoria like this was so completely different from kissing Edward that there was almost no comparison. He had been eternally hesitant, and was never the one to initiate something like this, and when _I_ did, it was like kissing a marble statue until he inevitably broke it off, stepping away within only a few minutes. Kissing Victoria was like mercury, cold but constantly flowing, no sign of any reluctance or indecision.

It was _amazing_.

Victoria slowed down, eventually pulling back before returning to give me one last chaste kiss, reminding me of this morning.

“Wow,” I said breathlessly.

She smirked in the typically smug fashion that was so _Victoria_ that I couldn’t help but smile.

“That was…” I tried to articulate my thoughts, but I was still drunk on the endorphins. “You’re amazing.”

Her smirk grew, reaching her eyes, and I could see the amusement in them as clear as day. “I know.”

“So modest,” I said, unable to keep the grin off of my face.

Her smirk became a bright grin. “How was your day?”

“Honestly?” She nodded. “Weird. And mostly boring.”

Her grin melted into a frown, and I immediately wished to have the other expression back. “I’m sorry. I thought there might be enough…”

I shook my head, and pushed myself up on the tips of my toes to kiss her quickly. “It’s fine. Honestly, Vicky. I can entertain myself for a few days. Did you find your friends?”

Her frown lessened, becoming more of a resigned sadness. “Yes. I spoke with them, but they are having… difficulties with believing everything.”

I blinked. “What? _Why_?”

“Well, it’s less believing and more accepting. Bella. This… this is a miracle.”

I felt my eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. “What is?”

“This. Do you remember how I told you that we only ever get one mate?” I nodded. “That’s true, and yet I… I’ve still somehow become quite fond of you. I have a theory that it’s similar to the way I was able to love my sister even though she was not my mate, but I don’t know. The fact that I _am_ able to… to, to feel the way I do about you after having lost my mate is nothing short of a miracle. I can understand Siobhan’s dubiousness about everything.”

“Oh,” I responded dumbly.

Victoria nodded, lowering her arms, but then unexpectedly picking me up and carrying me over to the bed, where she placed me down and lay next to me, drawing me against her and putting her head on top of mine so I was resting beneath her chin.

“It’s no slight against us, it’s simply that our story is a bit fantastical. But I think their curiosity will eventually overcome their hesitation. So…”

“So be prepared to meet three other human-drinking vampires with an overly possessive companion?” I finished, echoing what she’d said this morning.

Victoria laughed freely, the high-pitched, happy sound washing over me. I wanted to drown myself in it, it was so beautiful.

“Yes. Quite,” she agreed, still laughing softly.

I hummed in acceptance from my position against her chest. “I’m prepared.”

“Good,” Victoria responded, and I could hear the smile in her voice. “Because I’m not sure I am.”

She hugged me tighter, and a low vibration built up in her chest, repeating over and ov–

“Are you _purring_?”

It stopped. “…maybe,” she said evasively.

I laughed. “You really are a cat! I thought it was just the way you moved and growled and stuff, but you really are, aren’t you?”

She pushed me back so I could see her eyes, frowning disapprovingly. “So? Is there something wrong with that?”

“No! No.” I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing again. “There’s nothing wrong.”

“Hm. Good.” Victoria pulled me back to her chest, and the vibrations started again. And then they paused.

“But for the record, I’m not a cat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very much got a Scott Pilgrim vibe from that first scene when I proofread it. “So what you’re saying is… we’re… dating?” “…I guess?” “Does that mean we can make out?” “…Sure.”
> 
> This chapter is practically diabetes-inducing. I have cavities from writing it. I was grinning literally this entire chapter. My cheeks hurt.
> 
> But things are finally happening, and god _damn_ is it good. I told you I’d get there, huh? I keep my promises~


End file.
